Questioning//BILLIE EILISH

21

"And he literally jumped so-" she cuts herself off, looking ahead of her, "Hi?"

"Hi," Mia says, and I feel her weight rest on the seat across from us.

My heart beats faster as I turn my head to look at her, "Hey, Mia."

Mia smiles at me, but it's one of those tight-lipped, forced smiles I know so well.

"Hey, Dez. How've you been?"

I try my best to act cool and calm, having multiple secrets resting on my tongue. Billie takes my hand under the table, rubbing the back with her thumb.

"I've been good. Just been getting to know Billie here. She's very nice."

Mia looks at me quizzically, "Nicer than me?"

My breath gets caught in my throat, "I- what do you mean?"

"We've been best friends since 3rd grade and suddenly we haven't spoken in almost a week," she turns to Billie, "I see what you're doing, and you won't be successful. Dez is mine."

I look over at Billie, she seems angry, but her anxiety is stopping her from saying whatever is on her mind. She squeezes my hand as she sits, gaining the courage to speak.

"D-Dez doesn't belong to anyone," she manages to get out.

My heart aches for her as I watch this scene play out, but I don't want to interrupt Billie's thoughts by talking. She clearly wants to say more.

Mia opens her mouth, "I-"

"Don't," I cut her off, "Wait."

Billie looks at me and I give her an encouraging smile.

"It's-s not my fault she wants to hang out with me. Remember, she approached me. Maybe you're the problem."

Mia, dumbfounded, turns her head to me, "What did I do?"

"Nothing," I admit, "I just don't think you'll like who I am anymore."

"You mean what she turned you into."

I take a deep breath, "No. She helped me realize who I am, who I always was."

She huffs, standing up, "I've always known you were different. I just never said anything. Have fun being a nerd." There's a sharpness in her words, intending to hurt me with them.

Relieved she didn't say the alternative, I reply, "Nerds are people too, Mia."

"Whatever."

Mia walks away toward my old friends, and I look back at Billie, who is desperately trying to hold back a laugh. Her demeanor rubs of on me and soon we're both quietly giggling.

I take a couple deep breaths, "I don't mind being a nerd."

Billie looks around before placing her hand under my chin and pulling me in to quickly kiss my cheek, "Me neither."

For the rest of the school day, I smile to myself whenever I remember the conversation with Mia.

She's such a silly goose.