Questioning//BILLIE EILISH

29*

⚠️Talk of masturbation, and masturbation

We go a couple more strides before Billie pulls on the reigns, bringing Aqua back to a walk, "Yes?"

I turn my shoulders and push her chest, "That was scary!"

Billie kisses the back of my head, "My bad."

"Okay, sweet girl," Billie says, leading us back to the minivan, "Hop in."

I jump in the passenger side, and Billie puts the car in reverse, driving us out of the barn.

"Hey, so I'm going to have to drop you off at home. I haven't been writing much, so Finn is going to help me with some things."

"Oh, okay that makes sense."

Billie grasps my hand and continues driving. I break the silence, "What is it like? Writing music."

Billie squeezes my hand for a moment, "Uhm, well it's different every time. Sometimes we start with a melody or a chord, or just a feeling or a story."

"That's so cool."

She chuckles, "is it?"

"Yeah, I mean your songs are really good and you and your brother make them together. That's cool."

"Well, thank you, Sweetheart."

Butterflies swarm inside me, and I look out the window beside me to avoid eye contact with Billie. I realize we have another 30-minute drive before we get back to my place.

"I think I'm going to masturbate when I get home."

Billie takes a breath in, waiting a few moments before speaking, "Oh, that's nice. Have you ever done it before?"

I blush, "Well, I was going to try it before our date but I wasn't sure what was gonna happen. Like if I would be tired or, I don't know."

I can see Billie's face redden a bit, "I suppose you'll have plenty of time today."

"Yeah, the rest of my family is at my sister's softball game until late afternoon."

I can see Billie's face get redder and redder as she looks out the windshield and I begin to get insecure about my revelation.

"Am I supposed to tell you this?"

"What do you mean?" She asks, pretending neither of us can tell she's blushing.

"Like, I know the rules about 'texting 3 days later' and 'playing hard to get' and all that stuff, and I feel like I'm not supposed to tell you about this stuff. Like maybe it's another rule."

Billie takes a deep breath, seeming to contemplate what to say. She rests her hand on my thigh and begins talking, "It's true. Most people don't tell someone about their sexual habits after one date."

My heart sinks, and embarrassment washes over me, not the fun kind.

Billie glances at me, sporting a reddened face and frowning lips. She squeezes my leg, "But," she emphasizes her word, "But, you and I aren't most people. I never understood social rules much, anyway."