Skaikrus Natblida

Chapter Thirty-Six

Everything hurts. My body wanted to shut down but Lincoln made me keep moving. His arm stayed tightly wrapped around me as we walked back to his cave. Tears had stopped falling once I felt numb. I hated everything. I hated pike and bellamy. I hated the world for never giving me peace.

I wanted to scream or run away. Just leave this life behind and start a new one. One where no one knew me. My blood was welcomed. That's the life I wanted. It's the life I deserved.

I was the last to enter the cave with lincoln. I kept my hand on the last braid he braided before he died. "Where's Vince?" I heard Bellamy ask from inside the cave. My head shot up at the mention of his name. Everyone had a sad look and did not respond. "Pike put a bullet into his brain." I said, shocking everyone with my voice. "B, I'm so sorry." Bellamy apologized. I walked towards him and then punched his jaw, feeling angry.

I continued to hit Bellamy, not caring anymore. "Bailey that's enough!" Kane yelled at me. I stopped for a second. "Kane, stay out of this!" Bellamy warned. I kept hitting him, feeling all the anger and sadness spill from my body. Miller grabbed onto me saying I had to stop. I fought against his hold. "Miller, let her go!" Bellamy said. Miller then let me go and I knocked Bellamy to the ground, spitting on his bloody face.

I walked out of the cave and into the woods, collapsing at a far tree. I let a scream rip through my throat and into the air, punching the tree with my sore fist. Pain. I need to feel pain.

Looking at the tree I banged my head against it as hard as I could, feeling horrible pain in my head that just felt good. Before I could hit my head again, two arms wrapped around my back and pulled me back. I fell into whoever's chest. I soon recognized it as Lincoln's.

He whispered sweetly into my ear and brushed my hair. Immediately I latched one of my arms around him and sobbed into his chest. I beat my leg with my other hand, still needing that pain. Lincoln grabbed my fist and stopped me. "Bailey stop." Lincoln whispered to me. I screamed loudly. Lincoln held me tighter as I screamed and sobbed. "It should've been me!" I repeated it over and over. Lincoln denied me. "Im the fucking freak! I should have died! Not vince!" I sobbed. "Bailey, you're not a freak." Lincoln cried.

"I'm a freak!" I screamed loudly and pulled away from lincoln. I ran a hand over my face, kicking my boot into a tree. Lincoln placed a hand on me but I flinched away, not trusting myself. "Get away! I don't want to hurt you.'' I said. Lincoln nodded and backed away.

I looked down towards my hands and saw Bellamy's blood. Another scream. My braid fell over my shoulder. A hit to my waist.

Everyone's words repeated in my head.

Freak!

Freak!

Freak!

Curse!

I love you!

Every person who says they loved me didn't! My parents abandoned me! Henry hated who I was! Vince died! I'm a freak that no one can love!

I fell to my knees, grabbing a chunk of my hair. More screaming.

Freak!

Freak!

Freak!

Freak!

Freak!

My hands flew to my ears! I needed the voices to stop. Eyes tightly shut.

Freak!

"Make it stop!" I screamed out. My body folded and I dug my head into my knees. Vince and isan are dead because of me. I couldn't protect them! Why should I breathe when they don't?