Chapter 31 Part 1

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Chapter 31 Part 1: Proposal

Hadrian's Point of View

People always say that when playboys fall in love, they fall very hard.

I used to not believe them. Meh. I know that at some points in our lives, we fall in love deeply with someone else, playboy or not. We meet someone and fall in love so deep. There is no exemption. So whether I am a playboy or not, I'm pretty sure I'll still fall madly inlove with someone.

I never really wanted to play with other people's feelings. So before you all judge me for my past before I met Antinous, let me provide a background as to how I ended up being with many girls in college.

Arthur and I were best of friends. We're both Sports Science majors. We've been high school buddies. We were roommates too. And I always felt attracted to him and that attraction has left me confused. But for the sake of our friendship, I kept my feelings to myself. Arthur was like a brother to me and I did not want to lose that. Besides, I didn't think he would like me back.

But then one day, everything changed between us. While we were watching a film inside our small room, my laptop on my bed as we rested our backs against the headboard sitting next to each other, I suddenly felt him reach for my hand. Arthur intertwined our fingers so I faced him, confusion all over my face.

He only gave me a smile and suddenly, the confusion that consumed my system not so long ago was now completely gone. Just like that. No words came out of his mouth. But somehow, right then, I knew that there was something special going on between us.

On that same night, Arthur insisted that I start to call him Antinous and he would start to call me Hadrian. It didn't have much meaning to me so I did not make a big deal out of it.

I was scouted into the Blue Eagles that is why I became a member of the basketball varsity team. Meanwhile, Arthur became part of the cheering squad.

We grew closer to each other as we went on our freshman year. And I was even close to telling him my feelings. I became jealous of his teammates especially everytime they were around him. But I wasn't sure if something special was really going on between us so I didn't tell him about it.

But before I could even tell him how I felt, Arthur was already gone. He went abroad without even telling me. I was so hurt. Not because I was left alone, but because it felt like I wasn't worthy enough of knowing things about him. And it turned out he had a boyfriend abroad who offered him to study there. And he grabbed the opportunity. But I couldn't do anything about it and I had no right to tell him to come back.

I was angry because I wasn't given the chance to show my love. I felt betrayed. That is why I told myself I shouldn't be vulnerable to love again. If people want me, then I'll give them what they want. They want a taste of me, sure. But no strings attached. Because I don't want to go through that same shit again. That feeling when you question yourself what is lacking in you because people did not choose you. That is why I didn't want to be involved in a serious relationship with anyone. Just casual sex.

I became captain of the basketball team before I even got to my last year in college. Dominic was supposed to be the captain. But he refused to be since he was running for suma cum laude and didn't want that much responsibility on him so they chose me instead.

As the new captain, I had the privilege to have my own room in the dormitory. The dormitory only caters freshmen students and athletes. And once a freshman becomes a sophomore, they must move out of the dorm and find a place outside the campus since a new set of freshmen will stay. But since I was a member of the varsity, I didn't have to move out.

I was so excited for my third year in college because I finally have a room and don't have to share it with anyone. It means I can let people come over anytime without having to think about my roommate.

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