Never Have I Ever

• Chapter Twelve •

I feel like they gay sex gods were looking out for me. I was finally being rewarded for putting up with pieces of shit. Faiyaz had a single room so there we were in his room alone. His room was definitely bigger than the study room and it was plain. I know the school year just started but he didn't seem like the kind of guy to decorate his wall anyway.

He was sitting up right on his bed and I chose to sit in his desk chair across from him. We spent the last thirty minutes shouting questions back and forth and were finally getting to the last of the questions. So far I found out he has three little sisters, one of who favored his White father and the others who was carbon copy of Faiyaz and their mother. I told him about how I had twin brother even though I don't have any close relatives who are twins that I know.

"So your parents are just Black," he trailed off, "But your hair looks like that?" He asked sheepishly and pointed at hair that was free and messy. He looked confused and a little scared to ask that.

"What you mean?" I narrowed my eyes at him and we sat in tense silence and then burst into a fit of laughter. Faiyaz's eyes widened at the sudden change. He looked relieved, too, he was expecting a harsher reaction, "As far as I know." My hands slipped through my hair. I got that question a lot but I always said what I was-Black. I guess that's the magic of genetics, hence this project.

"I don't want to do this anymore," I groaned and shut my book. We had a whole week to do this and I had other things on my mind.

Faiyaz looked at me and agreed, "Yeah, we got time, I guess." I got up out the chair to stretch my back, "You bout to leave?" He rushed out and leaned forward. His notebook falling on the floor in the process. I looked down at him and he looked like he didn't want me to. I bent down and picked it for him and he all but snatched it out my hands.

"You want me to stay?" I raised an eyebrow.

He suddenly realized how he sounded and I bet if he could his cheeks would've been red with blush, "I mean, like...You don't have to stay if you don't want to, Gavin." He scrunched back. There was something about his shyness that was adorable to me. Shyness usually didn't attract me at all but Faiyaz was a exemption I guess.

"If you want me to stay just say that." I smirked and went to shit next to him on his bed. He hastily scooted over to make room for me, "I'm still trying to figure out how I never seen you at school. I mean three years in the same building and you wasn't on my radar."

He snorted, "You were up Jay's ass." Then he slammed his hands across his mouth with his eyes wide. It must've slipped out. I leaned back in fake offense.

"I thought nobody noticed." I laughed humorlessly. Who was I fooling but myself, I was in love and it all came crashes down only three week ago, "You should've saved me." I nudged his shoulder.

"Please, you wouldn't have liked me back in high school." He shot back then immediately slammed his hand. Does he do this often? Just assault his face like this.

But what he said didn't fall short on me, "So you liked me in high school? Is that what you saying, Faiyaz?" I winked at him and leaned in close, "You wanted me?"

"I-I," He stuttered, "Um...I-" I watched him fumble over his words until he just huffed and gave up. I guess that's a yes. I watched him and how easily embarrassed he was and my smile faltered a little. Maybe Faiyaz wasn't really ready for something that wasn't innocent. He seemed like a good guy, inexperienced if anything but I was just assuming.

Ignoring my better judgment for my own needs I grabbed his chin and towards his face towards me. I heard a gasp come from his lips but I shushed it when I brought his face to mine. I kissed him but he didn't kiss me back. I pulled away. Oh shit. Maybe I liked fucking misread this shit. He stared at me blankly, speechless and I was about to apologize when he basically jumped on me.

Faiyaz's hands found there way in my hair and he forced me back on the bed. His lips slammed into mine. I was shook a little bit and his lips kissed mine sloppily with no sense. My hand felt right where his chin met his neck and I was able to get dominate the kiss. I squeezed a little and that cussed him to moan into my mouth. I forced him away and he looked down at me with hooded but eager eyes. I felt something hard pressing against my legs and I didn't have to wonder what it was. It was like a puppy.

I would've kiss him again but I had to move from this awkward position he had me. "Move up." I told him. He scampered up towards the top of this twin bed. The way he just attacked me I knew Faiyaz wasn't as innocent as I pegged him to be but the way his eyes would go all wide and excited made him look otherwise. By the way he kisses I can tell he hasn't kiss too many people. He was an odd one just as I thought in class.

I slipped my shirt over my head and leaned over him. I grabbed him by the collar and yanked his off. His breathing was heavy. I grabbed the rubber band on my wrist and was about to put my hair up when said, "No, keep it down. I like it down." I let my hair fall.

"Are you nervous?" He shook his head. Fuck. I reached for his pants but then he stopped me again by grabbing my wrists. I sighed.

"I want to try something first." Faiyaz said. I looked at waiting for him to go further, "I want to give you head," He said sheepishly. My mind blanked. Oh. My. Fucking. God.

"You never gave head before," He shook his head, "Are you like...A virgin?" He watched me I guess for a certain expression but then he nodded hesitantly. I let out a deep breath and rolled over into a sitting position.

Faiyaz reached for me in protest, "But I don't want to be a virgin anymore." I just shook my head. The last thing I needed was to take someone's virginity and then they start being clingy. I'm literally haven't even been single a full month yet and as much as I didn't want to admit at it I was still hung up on Jay. Who wouldn't be, he was my everything basically.

I decided to just be honest with him, "I just got out of something fucked up and I don't wanna get involved like that." He flinched back as if I had punched him. Fuck man, "I mean we can just go slow, you know." I tried to fix. That must've fixed it because he no longer looked hurt and he nodded.

"Ok, we can move slow." He smiled at me. I smiled back at him reassuringly even though I was everything but sure. Well, no. The only things I were sure of; One, Faiyaz was a virgin and two, I didn't want to be the boy that broke his heart for the first time.