It Should Have Been Like This

Book Thirty-eight: just stop

Lavender's viewpoint

   Staring at the sea, waves crashing on one another, surfer fighting against the tides, people swimming in it; couples, mother, sisters, brothers, friends, children, I stood at the shore watching them all. My eyes picked out everyone of them, observing them like I had a report to write about humans. It was the only way I could calm my anger and frustration. Why am I like that? One person, Rominic.

   I brought Roxy back into the house and he acted like a complete asshole in front of her father. It hurt Chef Russo so badly I had to watch him fight back his tears. It was unfair, all the words he said to her and unintentionally directed it to her late mother. He hurt both people just because of me and it hurt me too. I couldn't just stand there, so I defended her, told him to deal with her staying and since then, we hadn't spoken to each other. More than a week.

   I was at the beach because the girls decided to enjoy themselves at the beach, two days before the wedding. The kids were with us, along with the guys. But I stood far away from everyone, watching the sea, refusing to speak because if I did, the bottled up tears would burst free. I know what she did was wrong, but it wasn't entirely bad and unforgivable. He did the unforgivable but I still forgave him, I let it all go so what's so wrong in forgiving her? Especially when what she did wasn't even that bad. The kids already accepted her back because they knew her crimes wasn't as big as he sees it to be.

What if I had died of heart attack?

   He asked me that. It didn't matter, the past is the past and he should learn to trust me and my decision. I know I make mistakes a lot of times, but still...

   I shook my head and sighed heavily, kicking a seashell into the water. Goosebumps spread on my skin because of the cold, so I hugged myself, shivering a little bit. I looked over at where they were, to my children specifically. I made sure to check on them every ten minutes. I didn't doubt the others ability to take care of them, but I just needed to be extra sure. Roxy was with Serenity and Zayne, helping them build a sand castle, smiling like the Roxy I knew. She could take care of them because they liked her a lot. Well, except Zachary but he barely liked anyone and Sera is naturally... Well, Sera. Zyaire was still learning how to surf from Cameron. That guy should have been a surfer by profession, but he chose something he loved more. Sera and some of the other kids were searching for seashells and Zach, he was in the midst of the men, listening attentively to their conversation. I really wasn't in the mood to worry about what they were saying.

   Turning my eyes away, I sighed again, returning to my sea gazing. Well, until Anna came and ruined it by slapping my shoulder while she shrieked, "what's up, sister pussy!" I groaned, stepping away from her and rubbing my throbbing shoulder. "Annalise, can you not be so Annalise?" I groaned.

   "What fun would that be? And who am I suppose to be, Veralina? Nay,"

   "If you are me, your life would be better and more disciplined," Vera chimed in as she joined us, Ginger, Sussy and Terra behind her.

   "If I were you, I would be ugly, and let's not forget, bad in bed," Ginger and Terra burst into laughter while Sussy just rolled her eyes.

   "I am not bad in bed, if I were, Waylon would be..."

   "Fucking another pussy not just yours?" Anna interjected, making Vera scrunch her nose in disgust.

   "I wouldn't use that word, it's too... Hmm..."

   "Vulgar? Well, that's your problem because everyone knows Anna wasn't born with a filter or decency to know when to shut up." I input, stepping further away from her.