Champagne & Cigarettes // BajiFuyu //

Chapter 28: "How the fuck do you not know what a thesaurus is?"

"I'an even finna cap. Peke J was slumped as fuck when I got home yesterday." Kazutora said and sipped his milkshake. "Oh really? He's been doing that a lot recently." Chifuyu flared his nostrils, a habit of his that he tended to do when he was suspicious or questioning something. "He's probably just extra tired because he's old and he was just sick." Kazutora reasoned and Kanade agreed. "Yeah he's probably fine." Was what they said. Chifuyu just shrugged and sipped his atrociously watery "sweet" iced tea. "Bro what the fuck this damn tea tastes like water with caffeine in it." The blonde spat after backwashing his tea down the straw and back into the cup. "Gross Chifuyu, I told you not to backwash your damn drinks like that." Kazutora gagged and looked away in disgust. "Bro I ain't never asked you but my excuse is this sweet tea nasty as fuck. Pretty sure I'm gonna get food poisoning but that's perfectly okay." Chifuyu shrugged and then decided to take a sip of Baji's McFlurry. "You guys are like that one seventh and eighth grade couple that can't go one second without PDA and it's killing me." The bi-colored haired man scrunched up his nose. "Okay...but when did we ask?" The blonde gave the older a witty response. Which caused the latter to give him a witty response in return. And the two did that back and forth repeatedly until a McDonald's worker called their order number and Baji went to get it since the two idiots were still arguing and Kanade was recording them for their Snap story.

"Yo shut the hell up, the food's here." Baji said as he placed the trays down onto the table. "No bruh I'm not finished, Kazutora just called me a damn leprechaun and I'm not having that." The blonde told the ravenette and then yelled, "YO OLE BIBBLE FROM BARBIE LOOKING ASS BITCH!" in response to the bi-colored hairs' recent insult. "MOTHERFUCKER I WILL SLAP THE ALMIGHTY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST OUTTA YO ASS IF YOU SAY THAT AGAIN!" Kazutora stood up quickly which caused his chair to screech super loud and draw even more attention to them. "God DAMN can't nobody take y'all asses no-fuckin'-where! Shut the fuck up and EAT for FUCKS SAKE." Baji shouted as he sat back down. Kanade was absolutely flabbergasted and Chifuyu was appalled. Kazutora was literally howling with laughter for no fucking reasons but we all know there's something absolutely missing in his brain compartments. "Shit that's why-" Kazutora started but stopped when Baji pretty much threatened him to either eat or have the food shoved all the way down his damn esophagus. So Kazutora decided to eat because he was trying to go home and smoke the last bit of weed he bought a few days ago before he died. Gotta get yo money's worth ya know. Kazutora knows what's up on god and I fuck with him for that. Kanade probably said that before but let's move on.

"First of fucking all.." Kazutora began and took a bite before talking again. "What the devil is a esophagus cause bitch y'all know damn well I might as well be the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. Usin' all them big words and shit, who the fuck do you think I am?? A damn thesaurus?" Kazutora spoke whilst simultaneously chewing his food. It was fucking disgusting; that's what Chifuyu said by the way. "A thesaurus is a dinosaur you shithead." Chifuyu rolled his eyes and took a sip of his pure water "sweet tea". "NO IT'S NOT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" Kanade jumped in and as soon as Baji had hope for at least one of those idiots they go and say, "It's literally a type of car like what are y'all on?" which caused the ravenette to sigh inwardly and drag a hand down his face. "There's literally no hope for any of you guys. How the fuck do you not know what a thesaurus is?" Baji asked them in pure disbelief and disappointment. "I'm actually going to send you all back to elementary school cause this is ridiculous." Baji heaved a sigh. "Well in Kazutora's defense bro's been in juvie half of his elementary and middle school career so like what do you expect?" Chifuyu blurted out, literally exposing ole boy for no reason. He's been around Takemichi too much, it's rubbed off on him. "I'll saw your mouth off if you don't shut the fuck up. ANYWAY, wanna hear what Mikey told me this morning?"

"Absolutely not! Y'all will not catch my ass on a trip any time soon. Peke J is still recovering so for the time being, I think the fuck not." Chifuyu made a grasping motion at the air as he said that for some reason. They're all on that za I promise you. "We can bring Peke J along with us. C'mon, a trip to Europe might be fun!" Kazutora tried to negotiate with the blonde but the latter wasn't budging. "But what about the shop? We can't afford to just not have it running. We have bills to pay Kazutora, in case you forgot." The younger said and ran a hand through his hair. "And I'm fully aware of that but a couple of days won't hurt us." The bi-colored haired attempted to convince his roommate but the responsible one of the two wasn't agreeing. "Kazutora if you want to go, fine. Be my guest! But I'll stay here in Japan." Chifuyu said and left the room. "Ah for fucks sake.." Kazutora sighed and shook his head. Ever since Peke J got sick and that incident with Baji getting shot, Chifuyu gained the bad habit of drowning himself with work it seems he can't break it. He's been paranoid about spending too much as well as not making enough at the shop each day. Kazutora doesn't know what he should do to break this habit of his and it's been stressing him out which has caused him to smoke more. Which has lead to Chifuyu coughing a lot when he's around Kazutora because he smells like either weed or tobacco. Sometimes he even smells like alcohol, but that's a rare one.

Chifuyu walked into the extra room that they used as an office and somewhat a storage room. Peke J was in there asleep on the dark wooden floor. The blonde sighed and slowly lowered himself beside his precious cat. "Peke I wish you didn't get sick. You poor baby, I'm so sorry I allowed it to get that bad." Chifuyu whispered and began to pet the cat by his side. "Anyway I saw this weird ass video on TikTok, thanks to Hanagaki, and this girl literally started making out with her dog. It was disgusting I'm literally going to obliterate Hanagaki for sending that shit. I would never traumatize you like that Peke." The blonde spoke in a quiet voice so he wouldn't wake up his fuzzy companion. He eventually drifted off to sleep in the middle of telling nobody in particular about a story from high school when one of his acquaintances was caught having his dog eat him out. I don't know bro I'm using this opportunity to expose people I know. Kazutora walked into the office and chuckled at the sight before taking a picture to send to Baji which he did almost immediately since he'd probably forget later. Baji responded not even an entire second later with a bunch of heart emojis. I mean, you can't blame him. Chifuyu's absolutely adorable. He then called Kazutora right after and started the conversation with, "Bitch let me tell you!!" And it went on from there.

"So basically what I'm hearing is that was racially motivated right? People in the States I tell ya.." Kazutora sighed and shook his head once Baji finished his storytime. "I just wanna go back home for fucks sake. Like, someone literally walked up to me and said I look like a damn anime character. IT'S CAUSE I'M JAPANESE HUH?!" Baji shouted into his phone resulting is Kazutora holding the phone away from his ear. "Ignorance can be bliss sometimes but most of the time it's fucking infuriating. Who just says that to someone?" The bi-colored haired sighed in disbelief. "I wish people would educate themselves more. This is making me rethink my choice of going to Europe next week." Baji groaned and Kazutora could hear him facepalm. "Oh you're going too? I talked to Chifuyu about it but he refused completely. I honestly didn't want to tell ya about this but I dunno what to do.." Kazutora trailed off letting the anticipation build up. "C'mon Kazutora, tell me already!" The ravenette urged. "Okay, okay. So y'know like a month ago how you got shot right? Yeah so like-" Kazutora began to get off of topic a lot as he told Baji what was going on with the currently sleeping blonde. Baji had to tell him "Get back to what you were saying mane." a good twelve times before the bi-colored haired finally got the balls to tell the ravenette. Of course the latter didn't want to hear that and was washed over with worry. "So basically what I'm getting from this is that 'Fuyu's developed unhealthy coping mechanisms?" Baji summed up and Kazutora could hear him typing something on his laptop in the background. "Yeah pretty much." He nodded and then exhaled in relief once he felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his chest. "Cool so I scheduled a flight back to Japan for eight in the morning tomorrow and I'll be there around noon. Since I still have work to do as well as a flight to pack for i'll talk to you tomorrow. Make sure you both have dinner and go to sleep at a decent time. See ya!" Baji said and hung up not allowing Kazutora to get a single word in.

'WHAT??'