Champagne & Cigarettes // BajiFuyu //

"..My Dearest Chifuyu"

A/N: IDK WHY I STARTED WRITING SO FORMALLY AT THE END I JUST REREAD PAINTER OF THE NIGHT AND WAS LIKE "I FEEL LITERATE NOW LETS WRITE SMUT" SO LIKE IDK BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY IG

'Marriage...how would you even approach that topic correctly?' Baji thought as he and Chifuyu were saying their goodbyes to Baji's parents and taking their leave. "Feel free to come and visit anytime dear! You're a part of the family now!" Baji's mother told Chifuyu as she enveloped him in a hug. "Thank you ma'am, I'll keep that in mind!" The blond grinned widely at both her and Yuuji. "C'mere son, I have something to say to you before you go." Yuuji called Baji over and then whispered, "Take good care him, alright? I can tell, he's the one for you." Before giving him a pat on the back, which he put a bit too much force into but it's okay. "You guys drive safe now. Text me when you get home Keisuke." Baji's mom said and kissed them both on the forehead before waving goodbye.

Baji and Chifuyu got into the car and as soon as the ravenette closed his door and started the car Chifuyu said, "Your mom's a milf." which completely caught the older off guard and he slammed on the breaks for a second. "WHAT?!" Baji yelled in disbelief. "I said what I said and I stand by it. I mean, look at her!" The blond said and motioned towards her through the windshield. "Babe, you're kiddin' me right?" The ravenette's face was full of pure concern. "Nope, bro I bet Tora would agree with me." Chifuyu sighed as he pulled up his and Kazutora's messages and began to look for the picture Baji's mom, stepdad, and him had taken together. "So basically what I'm hearing is you like ma more than me??" The older's voice went up several octaves and he was starting to pout. "What? I didn't say all that.." Chifuyu started and squished Baji's cheeks. "If I liked her as much as I love you I would've gotten down on one knee and asked to be your new stepdad." The blond stated and kissed the older on the nose.

"I'm gonna disregard the being my new stepdad part... you'd propose to me??" Baji saw the opportunity to bring up marriage and took it immediately. "Uhh, next topic. So what're having for dinner?" Chifuyu chuckled nervously and looked out the window. "Ass if you don't answer my question." The ravenette responsed as he finally pulled out the driveway and beeped the horn before pulling off. "Looks like we'll be eating ass for dinner tonight. What flavor?" The younger shrugged and leaned against the window before telling Baji to get in the correct lane. "Shit and cotton candy flavor. Also don't criticize my driving." The ravenette chortled but swerved into the left lane. "Wait a minute, who's ass tastes like cotton candy and how the fuck do you know that?" The younger questioned in bewilderment. "A magician never tells his secrets~!" Baji sung and turned the corner.

"What? Babe you're not a damn magician. Now fuckin' tell me, I'm curious and concerned!" Chifuyu whined and started hitting his head on the dashboard. "Babe stop doing that, you'll get more brain damage." Baji joked and Chifuyu stifled his laugh since he was now trying to be mad at the ravenette. "Also, I don't know who's ass tastes like cotton candy. I just said the first flavor that came to mind." The older male snorted and slowed down at a yellow light. "What the hell, who just thinks about cotton candy? You should be thinking about me anyway!" Chifuyu playfully gasped in offense. "Listen cotton candy is damn delicious. Speaking of delicious, I told you ma made some good ass cakes." The ravenette said, swiftly changing the subject. "Damn right she does! That cake tasted like heaven, she needs to open a fuckin' bakery or something!" The blond sighed in delight as he recalled the delicious flavor of the cake he'd eaten. "I've been telling her that but she says she down want to make cake for profit, she does it for her and her family to enjoy." Baji quoted word for word what his mother had told him then slumped in his seat as he stopped at another red light. "Wow, we're just hitting all the red lights today huh?" Baji scoffed. Chifuyu hummed in agreement, and felt himself becoming tired. He'd had a lot of food after going without any for several days in a row and his digestive system was very much satisfied but he was feeling tired as hell. "Babe, if you're tired go to sleep. I can see you dozing off over there." The ravenette chuckled and ruffled the younger's hair. "Alright, wake me up before we get home alright?" Was the last thing Chifuyu said before allowing himself to drift off to sleep.