Madness combat x Reader (Head-canons)

Main 4: fucking kity

 Anonymous on Tumblr asked: Hi! So, I was wondering...how about a hc of a reader that takes care of the main three (you can add 2bdamned too,if you want) which are kittens? :) I've been seeing some fanart of the three,hank,sanford and deimos as cats and I couldn't stop imagining, what it would be like to take care of them lol Anyway, I hope you're having a great day/night, see you ;) (And sorry if i write something wrong. English is not my first language.)

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Hank:

- Hank is a tall and slim black cat with a white tummy and paws. 

- He stares, a lot. Looking at you as if you're the one on crack. When it's probably him that is on crack. 

- Hank is a nightmare of a pet. Destroys stuff, brings mutilated rodents home, attacks the other cats in the neighbourhood and so on. 

- His favourite place to be is in the kitchen. where he likes to rub his head and body against the knife-block and the blender. He watches with glee when you make smoothies. 

- Every time to return home from running errands. The kitchen floor is smeared with blood! There is a mutilated rat on the floor. Hank sitting next to it look all proud. Luckily you have a tiled floor in the kitchen so the blood is easy to clean up. 

- Hank has his moments as well. If he wants your attention, he's going to get it. He jumps on the sofa, gingerly taking a seat on your lap before curling yup. Scaring Deimos away he tries to get close.

- The garden is his territory. No other cat besides his friends is allowed on the lawn. You got complaints from your neighbours about your violent cat. 

- He is the one that watches you sleep at night. Sitting on your nightstand staring at you all night long. 

- The nightmare cat likes to sit in high places, but not higher than where 2Bdamned usually sits. 2Bdamned is the boss of the cats it seems. 

- No matter how much of a pain this cat is, you still love him. And all those dead rodents are sort of presents for you after all. Be thankful. 

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Sanford:

- Sanford is a completely buffy grey cat, sort of like a Russian blue. 

- Sanford is your most loyal cat, always comes home before the streetlights go on. 

- Now out of all the cats you have, Sanford is the most outdoorsy cat. He can be outside all day, not to worry, he always returns. 

- Deimos and Sanford are best friends, and often raise hell in the house together! Don't be surprised when you come home and something is broken... again. 

- Your group of cats seem to have a bit of a hierarchy going on. Doc is the leader, Hank is the leader's right hand, Sanford and Deimos are stupid soldiers. 

- Also, Sanford had the fluffiest fur of them all. This fuzzball loves to lay on your shoulder whenever you are sitting on the sofa, possibly eating your hair if you just showered. 

- But being the fluffiest cat, he leaves around the most hair. He's not allowed in your closet, his grey fur ruins your dark clothes. 

- Sanford doesn't play with the cat toys you purchased as much as Deimos does. He is perfectly content with a plastic wrapper of a candy bar.

- Sanford loves to be held by you like a baby, his tail wagging wildly, purring loudly as he rubs his head against your shoulder.

- Every few months you groom his fur to prevent too much hair from getting around. And Sanford is not complaining at all! He purrs loudly as you brush his pur is a flee-comb. 

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Deimos:

- Deimos is a light grey cat, just like Hank, with a white tummy and paws. 

- He is a wild one, he runs around the house a lot. The house is his playground. You can hear the pitter-patter of his paws over the floor while you're cooking. 

- Deimos has one of those scratchy meows, you often joke about Deimos being a heavy smoker to guests. 

- Deimos just has the cutest sneeze you have ever heard. His sneezes sound like a squeak. 

- He is one of those cats that will purposefully walk in front of your feet to try and make you trip just for shits and giggle. 

- The second most crackhead cat after Hank. Somehow you were just able to get the craziest cats. 

- Deimos likes to sleep next to you at night. Curled up by your side, purring so loudly that it keeps you up. But you love him so you're not gonna kick him out. 

- Sanford and Deimos do a lot of playfighting during the day, which usually results in something breaking every time... Then Doc will yell at them. 

- You stop counting how many times you replaced that vase. Maybe you should just stop replacing it if it keeps breaking. 

- Deimos loves to climb things, the doors, on the washing machine, your shoulders. He loves to just chill on your shoulders. He feels very warm. 

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2Bdamned:

- 2Bdamned is a grey and black coated tabby cat. 

- Probably one of the calmest kitties of them all. You don't have to worry about much with this one.

- He likes to sit on top of the cabinets and closets, to make himself look high and mighty. As if he's the boss of the house. 

- Hank does something that Doc disapproves of. He won't hesitate to slap Hank hard and hiss. Scolding the other cat. 

- 2Bdamned greets you in the morning. Or he's demanding food, you can't tell. 

- He likes to sit next to you as you eat breakfast, and watch you eat breakfast. It's unnerving sometimes, but it's a cat instinct to watch and protect your pack as they eat. 

- Overall, Doc is the one that always greets you. when you return from work or do errands. You close the door behind you, turn around and 2Bdamned is right behind you, welcoming you back home. 

- All of the cats hunt the rodents and pests surrounding the house, 2Bdamned does too, but not as often as the others do. 

- If you're calmly sitting somewhere, Doc will gladly join you. First sitting far away, slowly getting closer and eventually sitting on your lap. He can lay there for hours if you don't move. 

- 2Bdamned can open doors... Now nothing can stop him from achieving his mysterious goals. 

- Doc really wants to help you in everything you do. But walking around you and meowing doesn't help with anything, but it's the gesture that counts right?

- Long story long, you don't have to worry about pests anymore...

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Fucking kity! hayaa! 

Thanks for reading. 
- Smilex