Only One // JB

17. I Can't Help Falling

//Lyanna Moore\\

I stayed awake, lying in bed feeling my head spin with a million thoughts filling my mind.

I had admitted to myself I was getting real feelings...which was bad? I couldn't help but feel as if something bad was around the corner. That Justin would drop me and leave me without an explanation.

Love? I hadn't felt it in a while. Love is explosive, often rash, quick minded, often hurtful, jealous or short tempered.

I watched as Justin mumbled in his sleep as I admired him. His eyes were beautiful and bright like the sun and other times; dark, deep, intoxicating and mysterious just like space. His lips were just so plump, pink, soft...I honestly wanted to take his lips with me.

I sighed as the sun came back only to blind me and making me grumble. I swear Jesus Christ almighty why am I cursed with this sun in my eye.

Which made me wonder...how long had I slept? How long had I been staring at Justin? I pushed the covers off my body, grabbing my phone before making my way outside feeling the morning chill of Beverly hills as I sat on the cushioned seats outside.

Then I called my mum. I sat there biting my nails as the ringing tone began. "Hello? Lyanna it's six in the morning" she grumbled as I felt myself sigh.

"Mum, I don't know what to do" I folded one leg under as I fixed how I sat. "What do you mean love?" She yawned as I heard a shuffling.

"How do you know if you love someone?" I played with my hair as my mum sighed. "It's indescribable. As if no one else exists. The way you look at that one person and everything makes sense dear" she spoke softly as I felt my heart beat pick up.

"I think I love someone" I whispered as my mum as she gasped. "Lyanna this better not be one of your little games! Young lady i'm tell you if you as so much get yourself into a situation just like Carson oh i'll-" she scolded me as I cut her off.

"He treats me good" I murmured as I looked at my chipped nails. "I mean i think I love him. I don't love him yet" I tapped my chin as I thought about it.

"Darling, when you love someone you don't need to think about it, you look at them and you just know" she mumbled as I stood up, walking to the kitchen and grabbing the bag of bread we had gotten down at Costco.

"I just feel like this is not love, this is infatuation darling" I hummed as I cut the bread in half and placed it into the toaster. "i mean we're kind of living together, it's either i'm always at his place and he's over at mine" I tapped my fingers on the marble counter. "you don't think you're moving too fast darling?" she cleared her throat as I thought about it momentarily.

"well maybe, yes...but it feels so right we just argue a lot mum and it's dysfunctional" I grabbed the butter out of the fridge. "well, fighting is normal. You're a couple that's the price you both pay. You both have to live with the hardships and roll with them. Understand that relationships are not all rainbows and sunshine. I'm telling you something sweetheart, why do you think your dad and I divorced? because I was your age and I had a sweet baby and I didn't understand that it wasn't all about me, a relationship goes two ways which includes compromising" my mums voice began to waver. "I'm kind of glad daddy Jo raised me" I mentioned my step dads name.

"me too sweetheart, it's six thirty and my eyes are shutting slowly" she mumbled as I heard Jo mumble before I heard a rustling. "Lyanna what's the matter?" he rasped as I smiled.

"nothing dad, boy drama that does not involve you at all!" I giggled as he chuckled. "should I be cleaning my gun and sitting on the front porch?" he asked jokingly as I kept my phone pressed to my ear by my shoulder as I pulled the toast from the toaster. "no need, he treats me nicely" I smiled picking the lid of the butter off. "alright kiddo" he laughed as I had a smile on my lips. "Lyanna, stay safe alright? Come home for Easter yes?" he asked as I grabbed a butter knife. "of course, you know I'll be home for Easter dad" I bit my lip as I pushed the open cupboard closed with my foot.