Kindred Spirits

Part 32

Joan was curled up in Stevie's cot with the letter clutched in her hands. She felt pitiably weak for coming in here just to find comfort in the familiarity of the scent in the room. She could still smell the essence of her young lover in the small space around her. There was a depth of loneliness Joan hadn't experienced before and all she wanted to do was scream. She couldn't, but she wanted to. Instead she just laid there and cradled Stevie's pillow to her chest. She hadn't heard anything else from Will Jackson and she wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad sign. She ached to know the younger woman's fate.

The slight knock on the half open door made Joan turn over and take notice of the woman in the doorway.

"Mind if I come in?" Marie asked, and Joan only nodded and pulled her legs up to make room for the other woman on the cot.

"It feels empty without her." Marie said with a sigh as she expressed the intense loneliness inside of Joan.

Joan snorted at the woman's words. It felt like a huge understatement.

"I made a mistake. I shouldn't have..." Joan's voice trailed off as words felt useless at this point.

"Shouldn't have what? Loved her?" Marie asked, her brow wrinkling.

"She loved you whether you wanted to love her or not. I don't think she's ever thought of having things any other way. She's been attached to your hip since she first got here."
Marie chuckled as she thought about the two women together.

"I'll admit I thought it was just a nice little fling at first, but I think she's loved you since she first laid eyes on you."

"Ridiculous childish notions. She never could be reasoned with." Joan huffed, and Marie smiled sadly.

"I've never been able to reason with love either, Kath. We all become victims of its steely grasp."

Joan looked at Marie, and a pain bubbled up in her chest.

"I should have been stronger. I should be stronger now." Joan said hoarsely, trying to hold onto that.

"Do you really regret loving her? If she came skipping through that door, can you honestly say you would walk out of her life forever?" Marie shook her head knowingly.

"I read that letter you have there. You love her as fiercely if not more than she loves you."

"You read my letter?" Joan asked, her eyes closing at what felt like an invasion of such a private place inside of herself.

"Not all of it, but I had to figure out what it was. Good thing I found it too and not someone else. That's as good as a confession. Miss Bennett would love to get her hands on that." Marie said wisely.

"Better destroy it."

"Vera Bennett is the reason Stevie's in the hospital. I don't know how or who she had to help her, but I just know." Joan said tensely.
"Vera has to pay, Marie. She has to."

"What are you going to do?" Marie asked, concerned for the woman she now considered her friend. Joan looked at Marie in such a way it sent cold chills up her spine before she spoke.

"I have two options." Joan replied.
"At least that's what Dr. Miller says."

"He doesn't approve of you..." Marie looked around before she leaned toward Joan. "Getting even."

"He doesn't approve of my more...extreme ways of taking care of my problems." Joan explained with a sigh.
"I have evidence of Vera's involvement in several illegal activities."

"You haven't thought of using-"
Marie said much too loudly and Joan motioned for her to lower her voice.
"You haven't used what you have before now?"