black coffee | remus lupin [2]

35. to prove it or to risk it?

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

REGULUS HAD THOUGHT a lot about Nicolas ever since he had showed up and surprised everyone with such a change of personality. It wasn't unusual that he would lay awake at night with his mind running amok yet feeling empty, nor was it unusual that he would zone out completely during the day, sometimes even when Nicolas was in the room.

Honestly, Regulus wondered where the sudden change had came for Nicolas. Was it at the wedding? Was it before? The dark haired boy couldn't understand how Nicolas could suddenly become such a trustworthy person after all that had happened.

But what Regulus did understand, however, was that Nicolas was making a huge effort to be better. And it warmed his heart a bit, even if he didn't know if he made that effort for Claudia or for he himself.

What he didn't know was that Nicolas was trying to be better for the both of them. And Rosamund.

Looking back at their past, Regulus felt stupid. Oh, how stupid he felt. He had fallen in love with an older boy, and everything about the entirety of their relationship would have been considered wrong by everyone around them if only they had found out.

But, Regulus himself as well as Nicolas didn't think that it was wrong. In fact, they had made each other better people.

Regulus had been brought up from beneath the surface by Nicolas. If he hadn't felt the way he had felt, Regulus would've drowned for good the day Sirius left. But he didn't.

He had someone. And so did Nicolas.

Ever since the day he was born, Nicolas Clarke had been walking in the shadows. He was alone, struggling to cope with his father's death and struggling to feel any sense of belonging in his dysfunctional mess of a family. Nolan was the golden boy, and even if Nicolas had never really given his mother a reason to prefer his brother over him, she still did.

Nicolas was a coward before he fell in love. He was a cruel coward who watched everyone around him be viscous and evil to a little girl who didn't deserve it one bit. Actually, Nicolas was a part of it as well. Even if he did it in the shadows, nothing he did for Claudia Maple was good.

But, when his brother starting choosing Evan Rosier over him and he befriended that quiet younger boy who was the only tolerable person he knew in Slytherin, Nicolas suddenly wanted to do better.

And so he did better.

Until he lost him. Or, more like, chose to let him go.

Regulus and Nicolas had inspired each other to do better in every way, and even if a proper conversion hadn't been held between them ever since that one moment at Hogwarts before Nicolas left, they had continued to do so.

And now, as Nicolas let Regulus inside his childhood bedroom, there wasn't really much for them to do but to wait.

..and talk.