Not Me

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Your eyes stared at me as if I was that vanilla ice cream you always desire
And I was melting - slowly, and you will still look at me the same way
To you, I will always be that vanilla ice cream even if I seem to be liquified by fire
And no matter how rough, I'd always be the one to brighten up your day

You made me feel loved despite the need for us to hide
Heck, we were always up for a ride
Going to places despite us being scared to get caught
Or maybe, it's just what I thought

You were brave enough to give me a rose
And you knew how much I fell in love the first time I had it
So, you gave me more like it was my weekly dose
More and more without hesitating, even just a bit

But things change, and so do we
I saw you talking with a girl you told me not to worry
Without a word, I let you build your happy ending
Just not with me - like how we planned in the beginning

And I was ready - the world became my shadow
I successfully avoided you without you knowing my reason why
But destiny really did not allow me to fly
Because once again, you gave me a rose and that is yellow

That Rose Is Yellow
- Xander Elijah Garcia

This piece was a promise to myself. Ang huling tulang isusulat ko para sa kanya o dahil sa kanya. We're in a different world now and he doesn't deserve to be in my present after what he did.

He cheated on me. Hindi ko nga alam kung tama bang tawagin kong cheating 'yon because again, there was never an us. But if he did not cheat on me, I guess Olivia's right. Maybe he did not cheat but he's still a traitor. He betrayed me and all of his promises. He betrayed me and my visions for our future.

I was ready to fight for him. Not just that time but I know I was mentally prepared to fight for him in the future. For once, nawalan ako ng pake kung anong sasabihin ng mundo dahil alam kong kasama ko naman siya. But I guess he gave up. All he saw was that Xander who was so afraid of the world.

And I lied. I told him that I was scared of my family if they find out that I am in love with a Suarez. I ended what we had not knowing what will happen next. But I was so stupid. I wished that time for him to stop me - to fight for us but he didn't. And I guess he really wanted it to happen. He just needed me to break it so it won't be his fault why we ended but I know he did. My words concluded it but his act did it.

That's why I don't understand why he gave me a rose once again.