"Growing up, I've learned
that the difference between sadness and pain
equates to that of a typhoon and rain;
So when his words struck me like a lightning
I know - it's not the rain that's pouring" I started our Public Speaking performance. Again, I used Jake as the source of pain - antagonizing him despite knowing fully well that I was the one who caused everything.
"Slowly, it drowned me
I know how to swim and that's the irony;
I wanted to move but I was stuck,
Then I remembered, the lightning struck" But am I lying? I don't think so. Totoo namang nasaktan ako. Deep inside, I was stuck in that repetitive cycle of hurting, of wanting to move, and realizing that I really can't move because I was struck so hard. I want to think that it's only his words that crucify me but reality will always show the truth - that I crucified myself.
"Some parts of me survived
but it only means some is no longer alive
and I guess, seeing the entirety will show a scar
always - even if you look from afar" And I think, I would always carry this scar in me. The lesson that my experience with Jake taught me. And no matter how far I could be, I know that this scar can still bleed when triggered.
"Mine's a story
Of how the rain could be so heavy
Or how a tiny drop could be so drastic
- what it's like not to be enthusiastic" I can't help but to smile. Hindi ko inasahang masusundan ni Michael ang concept ng tula ko to a point that he connected his poem to mine and still made sense.
"I bloom better than the sunflower in daylight
I smile as if I'm always ready for a fight
I fly like I own a pair of wings up in the sky
But there are days too when I feel so dry" In fact, I love his poem better. It's generally made, hindi gaya ng akin na halatang isang experience at isang tao lang ang pinanghugutan. His is a poem meant for people to relate to but mine's meant to release what I feel inside.
"When a blanket can no longer give you the warmth that you need
When a candy won't make you feel like a kid
When a rainbow suddenly becomes black and white
When everything around becomes darker than the night" Then, our eyes met - a sign for our synchronize part.
"But I guess, it won't hurt if we listen to what they always say" I uttered and paused to emphasize our title.
"'It's okay not to be okay'" We uttered together.
"So when the typhoon starts to fall
Feel the wind and let things stall" I continued alone.
"The rain won't last forever" He said his part.
"Typhoons won't make a river" Then, I said mine.
"The rainbow will show its colors
Tomorrow will give you open doors" we ended together and bowed to let everyone know that our performance is done.
The crowd's silence suddenly turned into a room of clapping. Hindi rin yata nila inasahan dahil kami lang ang nag-perform ng Spoken Word Poetry.
Before going back to our seats, I gave Michael a high five for a job well done.
And there goes Val. Siya lang yata ang hindi natuwa sa performance namin and I think I already know why.
"Sana dinagdag niyo doon na healing won't come to those who always try to remember someone who caused them pain." He coldly uttered.
YOU ARE READING
Not Me
言情Pinanganak akong nakalatag na ang buong buhay ko. Bata pa lang pero kailangan ko nang kumilos na parang matanda na kalkulado bawat galaw dahil isang maling kilos ko lang ay eskandalo na sa buong angkan ko. Yup. That's me - "the" Xander Garcia... But...
