Still With You | BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan) : A Sequel to 'Euphoria'

"I'm Waiting On You Again; So I Don't Take The Blame...."

Listen To: "Circles" by Post Malone.
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I sit at the small round table at the coffee shop and I'm pretty sure I'm going to vomit. Ae and I woke up early, headed back to the house with the moving company and helped pack up the last of the remnants of my life here in LA. 3/4 of the boxes get donated and the rest are packed up and mailed out to Seoul. The furniture all stays, as it was included in the sale of the house. I leave the keys on the kitchen counter for Sarah and walk out of the house without even second look back.

Now, I'm sitting in this coffee shop, waiting to see my mother for the first time in 18 years. This is the last thing I need to do before flying out tomorrow morning and it's the thing I'm dreading the most but it needs to be done. I need to see her and tell her how I feel; let go of this resentment and pain that I've carried my whole life. I sip on my coffee and it only makes me feel worse.

I hear my phone ring and I look down to see Yoongi is calling. I smile and slide my finger on the screen to answer.

"I miss you so much," I say, forgoing hello's.

"How much longer until you come home?" He asks in a whiny tone.

"Well, I'm leaving here in 16 hours, and the flight is around 14 hours so..." I tell him.

"30 hours is way too long still," he adds and I can hear him pouting.

"How was your day?" I ask him.

"It was good. I'm just so tired, we've been going non-stop for the last almost 2 weeks," he tells me.

"I know, I feel like I haven't seen you in so long," I say softly. In all actually, It feels like it's been forever since I've seen them, spent any time with them, touched them; felt their hands or lips on me. I let out a sigh.

"I won't be able to keep my hands off of you when you get home," he says, his voice low and raspy.

"Mmmmmmmm," I let out a breathy sigh.

"You can't do that," he tells me.

"Do what?" I ask him, confused.

"Make that sound. That sound makes me feel things," he mumbles and I let out a quite laugh.

"Okay, i'm sorry," I tell him in between giggles.

"You waiting?" He asks me.

"Yeah, any minute now," I tell him and my nerves start to creep back up.

"You got this baby. I believe in you," he tells me.

"What if I can't do it? What if I can't tell her how I really feel?" I say to him.

"You can. You will. She deserves to know how she made you feel. You deserve closure, baby"  he reassures me.

"I wish you were here," I tell him.

"I wish I was there too but just hold my words in your mind; you're strong and  you're worthy. I love you. I will always love you,"

I hear the ding to alert the door to the shop has been opened. I look up and see her. Time has been unkind to the once beautiful woman I once knew. Her face is riddled with lines that age her drastically; product of her affair with drugs, I'm sure. But her eyes are the same; the same hazel-green orbs that mirror mine.

"She's here," I say into the phone.

"I love you Eleanor. Call me if you need me," he tells me. I can't say anything as she starts to make her way toward me. I hang up the phone and just stare at her as she reaches my table and stands before me.