Still With You | BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan) : A Sequel to 'Euphoria'

"If I Let You Go, Would You Be Happier?..."

Listen To: "Break My Heart" by Matt Hansen
—————————————
[Please, assume all conversations are in Korean]

"Ella," Seokjin says as he walks toward me.

"Tell me what, Namjoon-ah?" I retreat myself. I feel a shiver run down my spine.

"El," Seokjin says again as he places his hands on either side of my arms and stands in front of me, blocking my view of Namjoon.

"Seokjin, I want to know what's going on," I tell him.

"I know, but I need you to just take a deep breath and promise me that you'll listen," Seokjin tells me. "I'll step out so you two can talk and when you're ready, we will be in the living room and we can all talk about this together," he tells me. He squeezes my shoulders and then walks out of the door, leaving me in the room with Namjoon. After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks.

"Eleanor," he says quietly, looking down at his hands. I feel my chest tighten at the sound of his voice.

"Joonie," I let out as I feel the lump raise in my throat. "Please, tell me. Tell me everything is okay; that we are fine. Please just tell me," I say. He walks to me and cups my face in his hands.

"Don't cry, please don't cry," he begs me.

"Just tell me what's going on," I tell him. "Please Joon, I love you," I whisper as he lets his forehead fall onto mine.

"Okay. Okay," he says. He takes a deep breath and then brings his eyes up to look at me.

"Eleanor. I slept with Nabi," he lets out shakily and I feel like I can't breathe. My whole world stops around me. The walls close in on me and I feel my heart pounding in my ears, drowning out any and all other sounds. I feel my whole body tremble and cold courses through my veins. My vision is blurry and I feel the bile crawling up to my throat and tears streaming down my face.

I try and breathe, try and not overreact. Try to let him speak but those words alone are torture.

"Ella, please I need you to listen to me," he said as his hands cup my face, trying to bring me back to reality, out of the panic that i'm in. "El— please," he begs. I cover my mouth with my hands and run to the hallway, praying I make it to the bathroom in time. I run down the hall, my socks slipping on the hardwood. I reach the bathroom and throw myself over the toilet just in time.

———————————————————————-

Time escapes me and I have no idea how long i'm sitting here, my cheek pressed against the cold bathroom floor. I've been trying to think of what I want to ask him, what I want to know. If I want to know. I open my eyes and my eyes meet Taehyung's; his head also on the floor in front of mine. I feel him bring his fingers up to push my hair out of my eyes.

"Are you okay? Do you need some water?" He asks me softly as he continues to stroke my hair.

"No," I croak out.

"Namjoon-hyung wants to come in to finish talking to you. Are you okay with that?" He asks me. I sit up and I close my eyes and feel like I'm about to fall over, my head feeling dizzy and pounding. Taehyung pops up and sits behind me so that I'm in between his legs. He pulls me back to lay my back against his chest and he wraps his arms around me firmly.

"Angel," he lets out softly. "Just relax," he whispers as he slowly rocks us back and forth, while we sit on the floor. I close my eyes and hear his voice flood my ears.

"Darling, I would break my heart,
If it was gonna make yours whole.
I would rip myself apart,
If it was gonna heal your soul.
Woke up and I panicked for a moment,
Forgot that you told me that you had to go,
And I'm scared but I don't wanna show it.
Feels like it's been weeks but it's only been days and
I'm slowly losing all my self-control.
There's only one thing I can say, it's
"I could spend forever always loving you
But if I let you go, would you be happier?"