Lucky and Unlucky {Dazai x Reader}

Chapter 6: The Armed Detective Agency

Once I wake up, I do my daily routine, once I finish, I walk out of the room, to the kitchen and spot Dazai grabbing a knife, looking at its edges.

"Dazai! What are you doing?!" I yell.

"Huh?" He looked up at me.

"What the heck are you doing?!"

He grabbed out a piece of celery and started cutting it to pieces.

"Cooking...." He said.

"But you looked like you were going to-"

"What? Stab myself?" He asked.

"Uh....."

"Seriously? Suicide alone? That's just pointless! And why such a painful death?!" He told me, "But if you're meaning doing a double suicide, I would never turn down such an offer!"

I looked at him for a long moment.

"What?" He asked.

"You're like as if depression was a person....." I said.

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked.

"I don't know...." I said, "You know what, whatever. I'm going to my room."

I sat on my bed and checked my phone. I got a message from F/n.

F/n: I'll be here somewhere in the afternoon, I'll give you a call.

I texted her 'okay' and heard Dazai shriek. I ran to the kitchen and see the stove on fire.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I ask.

"THE PACKET TO THE SOUP SAID 'Cook all ingredients in packet.' He yelled.

"AND?!"

"I put in the whole thing.... and had the temperature on max....."

"WHY?!"

"I THOUGHT IT WOULD COOK FASTER!"

"YOU IDIOT!" I yell while stopping the fire by pouring a bucket of water on it.

"Oh...." Dazai said.

"Let me explain this to you." I tell him, "Water, stops fire. When fire stops, it doesn't burn anymore." I say in a sarcastic tone.

"Sorry...." He mumbled.

"It's fine, I'm not hungry anyway." I say.

"But I am!" He pouts.

"Fine," I say, "Where would you like to go eat?"

"Delicious!" Dazai says with his mouth full. We were at a nearby restaurant.

"...great." I say, sipping a cup of coffee. "So, what's this about 'me being a member of the agency' deal?"

He swallowed his food and looked at me. "Well not officially."

"Huh?" I ask.

"You have to pass a test..."

"A test?!" I say with worry.

"Don't worry!" He said. "You'll be fine. Last night I told the president of the agency all about you and your ability! He's interested in letting you join!"

"How hard are the tests?" I ask.

"Not that hard." Dazai said, "Atsushi passed his, and you're smarter than him!"

"Atsushi?" I ask.

"He's also a member." 

"Oh,"

"Would you like your bill?" The waiter asked us.

"Just put it on the agency's tab." Dazai told the woman.

"Of course." She said and walked off.

"Well, let's go." Dazai said while standing up. I was still sitting, looking down.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked.

"It's just...." I say, "What if I don't pass?"

He looked at me and smiled, "You'll do great."

We saw the building to the agency, I gulped. I felt stress overwhelm me. I was about to have to meet all of my favorite anime characters.....

We walked up the stairs and see the words 'Armed Detective Agency' written on the door. Dazai turned the knob, and we walked inside.

Whenever we walked inside, no one was there. The lights were off and it was dead silent. Me and Dazai were both confused.

"Where did everyone go?" I asked.

"I have no idea....." Dazai said.

We walked further inside the agency. I heard a slight noise and turned around, it was someone in a hood, holding a knife to Dazai's throat.

"Dazai!" I said.

"Don't come any closer, unless you want your friend killed." They said.

Dazai was struggling to get out of their grip.

"Don't even try to get out!" They yelled.

Wait, I recognized that voice, JUNICHIRO?!  How many times are they going to use him for the exams? Wait a moment, I AM IN THE EXAM. It's okay. Calm down, calm down.

"Fine," You said, "What do you want?"

"I need to hold a member of the agency. Hostage. So once I have them, the Armed Detective Agency has no choice but to do whatever I say or else I kill him!" He explained.

"Wait is that all?" I ask.

"What do you mean that's all?"

"You haven't even thought this through?"

"Well uh...."

"What if they don't even listen to you?" I say, "The Armed Detective Agency is an elite group of people with super natural abilities. They can wipe you out easily. And I bet with ease. The guy you're choking right now can most likely beat your ass in an instant."

Dazai was still struggling.

"Then why has he not broke out of my grip?" Junichiro asked.

A second later, Dazai kicked Junichiro's leg. I punched Junichiro hard in the face, then grabbed the knife.

"Game over." 

"Ow...." Junichiro mumbled.

"Dazai, are you alright?" I ask.

A second later, I hear people clapping from behind me, then the lights turned on. I look behind me and see the whole of The Armed Detective Agency applauding.

"Huh?" I ask.

"Y/n," Dazai said, "You passed the exam."

"I did?!" I said.

"Outstanding work!" Mr. Fukuzawa said. "Welcome to The Armed Detective Agency."