Lucky and Unlucky {Dazai x Reader}

Chapter 131: Red Pocket Knife

HE'S ALIVE?!

"I couldn't help it!" Dazai looked at Odasaku, "She's such a jumpy sleeper!"

I realized what I was wearing.

Dazai was to the right of me, Odasaku was to the right of him. We were sitting on stools at the bar.

I looked at the counter.

Is this the Dark Era? WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?!

Calm down... Calm down... Just act natural! Like whenever I first bumped into Dazai and Kunikida! Just act normal..

"Oh, man!" Dazai started stretching, "I wonder if there's a simple, sunfire way to commit suicide somewhere."

"I doubt it." Odasaku said.

Dazai looked at Odasaku, "Odasaku."

Odasaku looked at him.

"Man fears death, but is also drawn to it at the same time. Death is endlessly consumed by man in cities, and in literature. It is a single event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire."

"Wow. That's quite deep." I said.

Good, that sounded natural for me to say..

"It's true." Dazai said. "L/n, I suppose you might have some desire like that as well?"

"....Maybe."

"On that note, barkeep, may I have a cup of detergent?" Dazai looked at the bartender.

"We don't have any." The bartender said.

"Oh, fine." Dazai spun around in his chair once while holding his drink, "Then how about a detergent-based cocktail?"

"We don't have any."

"I guess there's nothing you can do about it." Odasaku said.

"Odasaku, you should've called him out." I heard a familiar voice say.

We all looked to our right.

"It's because you never do that Dazai goes off the rails." Ango looked at us.

"Ango!" Dazai said.

"You should call him out with a force like a hammer hitting the back of his head." Ango stopped right by Odasaku. He looked at the bartender, "I'm driving today, so tomato juice, please."

"It's been a while." Dazai said while the bartender was placing Ango's drink down. "Are you back from a job?"

Ango sat down to my left. "It was a bad day. It took way too much time to buy smuggled items. After haggling until eight, all I have to show my efforts is this antique watch. This includes about 74% of transactions for this quarter."

I looked at the counter.

How did this happen? I remember being in that weird, twisted version of Yokohama after I fainted and now I'm here? Wait... I went through that white door and now I'm here.. I need to get out of here... Is there yellow boxes here too? There's no way I'm in the Dark Era. This must be an awful dream.

"So, Ango fuzzed his job, too." Dazai said.

"'Fuzzed'?" Ango looked at Dazai.

"Yeah, we're fuzz-buddies. Come to think of it, it's been a long time since we first became drinking buddies. But I've never heard you both complain about your work, Odasaku and L/n."

"Then why doesn't L/n tell us?" Ango said.

Oh, fuck you, Ango.

"Yeah, L/n is more mysterious than Odasaku. Far more quiet too." Dazai agreed. He looked at me, "Tell me what it's like to be the boss' assistant every day."