TW: injuries, car crash, death, throwing up, panic attack, implied suicide
"You're clear to go. I handed your father a prescription for pain medication. Please do not engage in any physical exercise in the next six weeks, if your body stops aching please start sports slowly. Your concussion might still cause some issues like nausea or headaches. Otherwise you should be completely fine, if something feels off, immediately see a doctor.", a nurse lectured Lucy.
She nodded. "Let's get you out of here.", Andreas said.
"The cemetary is not too far if you w-", he started as they got into the car. She quickly held up her hand to catch his attention and make him stop talking. "Dad. Please don't... I can't right now.", Lucy whispered, holding back tears and avoiding his eyes, though she was sure his gaze was on her.
"I'm sorry", her father whispered, manouvering off the parking lot.
They rode in silence, except for a few heavy sighs from Andreas.
As they arrived at home, Lucy didn't spare much time lingering around. Her mother wasn't home and nobody else was, so she quickly went into her room.
The blinds were halfway closed, leaving her in an eerie, half-lit room at basically all times.
She sat herself on her bed. The silence becoming obnoxiously loud.
She wanted to move, but couldn't, her head was empty. She didn't know what she was feeling.
Lucy stayed in her thoughts, dissociating.
What happened? I was with Caroline... She said... What did she say? I forgot it? No, she said something important. I can't forget that?! What did she say?
What could be so important that she'd wake me in the middle of the day? She only does that when someone is in trouble... Nobody was in trouble... Then why did she want to see me? What did it have to do with me?
It was me. I was the one she wanted to talk about...
Lucy's Memory pieced the shards back together.
It started to rain and I wanted to go back home. Is it my fault? We were on the highway and the light. It's my fault. I wanted to go back home. It was raining, her house wasn't too far, I could've just gone to her's and call my parents from there. Just because I left my phone doesn't mean I can't reach my parents and tell them where I am?!
I did this. I am responsible for her death. Because I was being selfish.
Her breath quickened, as her hands started to shake and tears rolled down her cheek.
Why did I do this! I killed her. I did this. I caused her whole family to loose a friend, a daughter, a sister. Why? Why did it have to be her? Why didn't I just die? I was responsible for us being on that highway? WHY? BECAUSE I WAS BEING SELFISH. That's who I am, a selfish murderer.
Lucy snapped out of her trance and slowly reached for her phone. With her vision still blurry she needed three tries to unlock it and even longer before she had safari opened and the sentence 'car crash on highway 23rd July, Germany' typed out.
She knew it was a mistake. She still hit the 'search' button. It felt like slow-motion as the results loaded and she clicked on the second link, showing a picture of Caroline's and some other car wrecked.
Her eyes skipped through the lines filtering the most important details out.
"23rd July... wrong-way driver... crash... two dead... one in coma... drunk driving ruled out...", Lucy mumbled as her gaze flew from one word quickly to another.
It didn't take long for her to piece together that her friend and the wrong-way driver died... Out of three people she was the only to survive... That fact metaphorically punched her in the gut, but she did feel the pain of it, as she rushed to the toilet and threw up just milliseconds after she held her head above it.
She felt horrible, she did nothing. Why did she survive? Why her? She was useless she has done nothing for anyone ever in her life. She hasn't cured cancer. She didn't even try to. Caroline might have been abled to do it, but Lucy surely not.
As her thoughts raced, she didn't even register her father appearing. He was patiently holding her hair away from her face and rubbed back calmly.
It broke his heart seeing her throw up and cry after what happened to her. Since she was back home, he was much happier now well aware she was alive and at least physically well. Now he was only even more concerned for her mental health, after what happened he had never seen her this low.
Lucy slowly stopped sobbing as violently as she was just a few seconds ago. Her stomach was emptied and her throat was burning.
She picked herself up from the ground, forcing a weak smile to nonverbally thank her father. He smiled back. "You wanna come downstairs or lay back down? I will get you a glass of water.", Andreas said, silently hoping she would talk to him.
"Actually, I just wanna cry", Lucy laughed. She had a tendency to what she called it 'traumedy'. Jokes about trauma.
Andreas chuckled at her comment, not taking his eyes away from her. So, with a sigh, she gave in. "Alright, I'll come downstairs, is Mom still there?"
"No, she went to bed, which is why we should be quiet, so we don't wake her up.", he said, taking her hand and lightly dragging her into the living room and onto the couch, only getting up to get both of them a glass of water.
"Talk or sit in silence?", he asked simply, putting the glasses down.
Lucy looked out the window into the darkness merely being abled to make out the pond next to their garden. She sighed again.
She didn't want to talk, but she knew she had to. "I don't understand. Why me? Why did this need to happen? Two people died, why not me? Caroline was making something out of herself, I am just a minecraft streamer, she could have cured cancer and I don't even understand half of the text book pictures she sends me, if I couldn't sleep. She was having a life while I was sitting back being a nothing.", she cried just a little more as she tried to make her thoughts into sentences.
Andreas looked at her with a frown on his face. "Don't believe what your mother says. You may not have an importance to science, but you have an importance to me, to the people you stream with and stream for. You are not 'a nothing'...", her father motioned air quotes, "... you are my daughter and if not, then you are still a wonderful person. I know you will blame yourself for Caroline's death, but please stay and be okay. I can't handle if you'd leave too.", he reached slowly for her face, wiping the few tears, that had left her eyes while he talked, away.
A smile tugged her lips at the affection. It was ever so slightly, but it was long enough for Andreas to not miss it. So he smiled back at her.
YOU ARE READING
The Furry and The Bird {fundy x oc}
Fanfiction"It's in the past and I can do is learn or forget.", she shrugged the topic off. As Lucy's dream of streaming isn't that much of a dream anymore, she makes friends and enjoys her life. But with Highs come Lows and she will have to face them. (englis...
