TW: suicide, panic attack, derealisation (thinking you are dreaming as escape), swears
Lucy was at the beach. It had become fairly dark and the only thing she was abled to hear were the waves, crashing into the shore and barely audible people talking, looking for an adventure at the otherwise dim, quiet beach of Brighton.
Lucy wasn't here for an adventure, she was here for the silence. She found an secluded area to sit down at. And that's how she ended up on the cold stones in a big hoodie, black long joggers, legs crossed, looking into the still lightly lit up night sky and the full moon slowly rising up behind the ocean waves. Tommy and Ranboo had left two days prior and Tubbo decided to also go back home, though he wasn't as far away as Tommy and Ranboo were now.
But Lucy's thoughts were filled with other things than her friends.
She began to cry. Not that she hadn't been crying before.
Lucy looked down to her lap, finding her fingers picking at each other, getting wet with a few drips of her tears. She lightly began singing a song. Her voice braking as she sang the chorus.
"And she looks into the sky.
She stares at the moon all night.
And she's talking to her lover.
And she sadly says 'I miss ya'."
Her crying just got worse as she thought about how true the words were. The tears were flowing down her face faster with every thought Lucy thought. How often she looks into the sky, how often she'd stare at the moon all night, how often she would talk to him and how often she missed him.
In the song he talked about a love story ending in one taking their life and how the living partner deals with it. It described what Lucy was doing, just a little too well. Though she didn't think back at a lover.
And still he was gone. She wasn't over him. It has been five years on the point, but she just couldn't get over the love she never got to express to him. She just put it in a drawer, locked it and threw the key away in hope, the whole drawer would just disappear.
And, guess what, it didn't. She always thought about how she should know better, considering she studied psychology.
She hated this one day, just shortly after she had turned 14 so much. It would sting her heart everytime she saw the date anywhere.
She might be abled to forget the day she was born on, but she could never forget this one date and the second one and the third one.
Lucy just realised it's now three dates. They were getting more. How many more will there be? Who will be the next one? Why can't anything stay the way it is? Why can't it always be the same?
Her hands slowly started to shake. Why did they need to leave? Why is this so difficult? Why can't it just go back to normal? Why haven't I woken up yet? Why am I trapped in this dream?
Why did I need to go home? Why did he need to go? Why did he get kicked out? Why didn't dad do anything? They could've been saved! Why didn't anyone do anything!? THEY WOULD BE HERE!? WHY AREN'T THEY? BECAUSE WE ARE TOO SELFISH! I'M TOO SELFISH. I'm too selfish.
The words echoed in Lucy's empty mind for a while. I'm too selfish.
She just wanted some warmth. Whether it was fire or anything else. She didn't care, she just wanted warmth.
But she stayed there, shivering, taking the cold in, while looking at the full moon wandering across the sky.
Lucy didn't move until everthing was pitch black and the last voices were silenced. Which must have been hours.
She slowly took her phone out. There were only two messages, both from Fundy.
Fundy 1:53 am
you awake? cuz I am :D
Fundy 2:02 am
how are you? :]
Lucy opened the messages to write back and couldn't help but smile and chuckle at his messages. After millisecond she realised, her face immediatly went blank. "Fuck", she said, but starting to smile again shortly after. It wasn't cold anymore.
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
The Furry and The Bird {fundy x oc}
फैनफिक्शन"It's in the past and I can do is learn or forget.", she shrugged the topic off. As Lucy's dream of streaming isn't that much of a dream anymore, she makes friends and enjoys her life. But with Highs come Lows and she will have to face them. (englis...
