Chapter 12 - Date

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Wanda POV

I couldn't explain why I felt nervous. I mean, I knew I had no reason to be, but all the same I fidgeted with my sleeves as I watched the clock tick to 8. I had gone back to the bedroom to get ready a little before 7, overestimating the time I needed by a lot. I was ready around 20 minutes later, and had been sitting here since.

Vis still hadn't let me in on the plans for this evening, and I didn't want to push him too hard for information. I knew he thought he was being more mysterious and fun this way, but I would much rather know than worry about being over or under dressed. I didn't have a great selection of clothes here, considering everything I bought for myself over the past year was still at the compound, or had been thrown out. I'm not sure how Tony would have dealt with my room after everything that happened.

I had gone shopping by myself a little while earlier, just to have something that was a little more dressed up. It was slim pickings, as is normally the case when you're pushed for time, but I found a nice pair of trousers and a fitted roll neck jumper. I still had the coat I had brought from Norway which was long and black, and a pair of black boots. It was still sort of casual in parts, but better than jeans or sweatpants.

The nervousness inside me only seemed to get worse the closer it got to 8pm. It was hard to describe, but I almost felt guilty. I knew that the date was platonic, and on top of that, Natasha and I clearly weren't together anymore, but the more I stayed here with Vision the worse I felt. It was all just wrong. This wasn't how my life was supposed to go.

There have been moments, all throughout my life where I have questioned what was next, and if there even was a next. When my parents died, I couldn't comprehend going on to exist without them, and that same feeling came when I lost Pietro too, however I did manage to make it through. I moved on. I continued to be, even with parts of me missing.

This time was different, losing Natasha was different. Not worse, just different. She wasn't dead. Fate didn't take her from me, she did. I was still mad she left me, again, but more than that I just wanted to be with her again. I wanted to shake her and tell her to just love me. To just choose the life we planned together.

I had a dream, the night before, of Natasha. I saw her across a crowded bar, and my heart was ready to explode. I was walking to her, planning to tell her everything I had been feeling, but as I got closer, I could only watch on as I saw her take the hand of someone else and leave. She looked happy, like how she looked when she was with me.

If I was to be honest with myself, the dream was probably more on my mind than this date. What if she did meet someone before I got the chance to tell her that I forgive her, before I got the chance to give us another chance? Spending the night on this fake date just seemed like a waste of time. I just had the feeling that if I was going to try and fix what Natasha and I had, I needed to do it soon, but I couldn't leave Vision either. He had already done so much for me, and to just abandon him here alone wouldn't be kind.

A knock came at the door.

"Yeah?"

"Are you ready to go? I have a taxi outside."

I got up, grabbed my purse and coat, and walked to the door of the room. On opening it I was presented with Vision in a suit, holding a small bunch of flowers which he pushed in my direction.

"For you," he smiled.

The gesture was sweet, so I thanked him and took them from him, but my hands were full and I didn't really know what to do with them.

Vision noticed how awkward I looked, "Would you like me to put these in some water?"

I smiled, and only then did I realise just how much effort this date was going to be for me. The smile was forced, and I really hoped he couldn't tell.

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