Being in an ecstatic world of our own seems amazing, right!
Rather than living in a world full of harsh disheartening reality, it would be much fascinating if one could live in a world of their own where things go as they want. But what if things d...
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Pain. Hatred. Sadness.
Evolving around these emotions, my life has taken a setback. It feels like I'm stuck. Just stuck somewhere and no matter how I want to get out of that place, I'm deeply rooted to it. Because I'm deeply rooted to him.
I thought he would come back after an hour? Or maybe a day? Or maybe a week? But the lack of his warmth, the lack of a person calling me his love, the lack of the person walking with me to the university securely intertwining my hand in his, the lack of the person giving me a rose every single day made it clear, that he is not around anymore.
How I wish if he was here, I would, at the very moment will run to him and jump into his embrace without having second thoughts of how he left my heart shattered or even took it away with him leaving me heartless.
He broke my soul. The intensity was so deep that I could feel my heart squishing down completely and blood furiously getting out of it, breaking my ribs while flowing through to make way for them.
Why did he leave me? He once asked me if I was looking for ways of leaving him. But in the end, the reality was that we were never together in the first place to leave each other.
A week has passed. I would be lying if it didn't feel like he died. Though, the professors told us that he canceled his term a few days before 23rd November and left with all his transfer documents. But something within me urges me to pretend that nothing ever happened. I was a fool, thinking that he just skipped college for a while.
Though a week has passed, he will eventually come back. Nothing happened. Calm down, everyone. Chill. Everything is okay. Okay?
Who are you kidding?
It never felt like he ever existed. Even Casey never spoke about him, nor that I'm complaining because the less his name is heard by my ears, the more my heart mourns his absence alone which is kind of bearable as at least I'm not becoming a burden on anyone by moping my sadness on someone else's shoulder.
I was scared. Because I was not feeling anything. It felt like my body was paralyzed. I had to remind myself from time to time that he is not dead, he just... left me. For good? Like he said.
I have the letter with me, safely secured in my locker. After all, it was his lastsurprise, how could I not keep it securely. I have reread that letter an unhealthy amount of times, as now I know every alphabet of every word used in it. I had recalled the letter by heart, which he took away with him.
The bracelet. It is still tied to my wrist. By him. Once in a while, I get thoughts of removing it, but then a thought chimes, what if he came back, and he could feel hurt that I threw his precious birthday present, he bought for me. And to the fascinating side, I don't even know what was so special about it. He promised to tell me later, but later came just with his absence, but everything.
