The Runt of the Litter

That I May Forget

Note: Hey, Beautifuls <3 Thank you for the love 💜

This week's chapter was requested by @gkjnrtg who asked to see some stuff with Anna dealing with the boys first deaths/when they came back. This only one of those, but I hope to get around to writing more of them before too long. This is a tag to All Hell Breaks Loose Part I. Hope you enjoy this, Love!

Without further ado, Anna is eight.

That I May Forget

She wasn't even there.

()()()

Anna spent one whole day trailing behind Dean and Bobby, biting her fingernails down until they bled, before Dean decided she should stay with Ellen at the Roadhouse.

But the Roadhouse was gone.

No, it wasn't gone. It was rubble. And Ash was gone.

The smell of fire made Anna sick even before she realized what the sight before them meant. Ever since her father's pyre had burned out, she'd had a hard time with the scent of smoke. So she was barely out of the backseat before she was puking, her small body lurching over and over.

Dean knelt beside her, his hand warm and gentle against her back and her head. "It's okay," he murmured absently. "You're okay."

But that was the problem, Anna decided. She was okay, but... But Dad was dead. And now?

"Are they dead?" she asked sullenly. "Is Ellen dead?" She turned her head to look at Dean. His eyes were bloodshot and circled pink. He hadn't slept, but he'd made Anna sleep.

"Probably," he admitted softly, the corners of his mouth turning down.

Anna's face crumpled. "Forever?" she asked, trying uselessly not to cry. Her eyes were wet and burning, and her chin was dimpling. She bit the inside of her lip.

Dean looked confused at her question.

But she couldn't explain it to him. Anna didn't know why she would ask such a thing either. Obviously they were dead forever.

But Ellen, with her thin-skinned, gentle, work-roughened hands and her gruffly feminine voice and the smiles she pulled out of thin air just for Anna... It was hard to imagine those things being gone forever.

"Let's go," Dean said instead of answering her. He stood up and pulled her up into his arms. "We gotta go find Sammy."

Anna sniffled, he eyes fixed over Dean's shoulder at the remains of the Roadhouse. It was one of the first places she'd seen outside of Bobby's house after their dad had died. "How are we gonna find him now?" she asked and tears started to drip from her eyes down her chin. Her stomach hurt in a funny sort of way, and her head felt buzzy. Things just kept falling apart. Ellen and Ash were dead. The Roadhouse was destroyed. Sammy was still missing, and they didn't have a clue where to find him.

"We'll find him, Rugrat," Dean promised her softly. "I don't care what it takes."

"But they're dead."

Dean seemed to take that the wrong way at first. He looked taken aback. But then his expression softened. "We'll find another way. Don't you worry about it, okay? Sit in the car and do some coloring."

Anna let him bring her to the car. She pulled out her notebook and started to write.

Dear Daddy,

Today Ellen and Ash got killed by the demon. Sam is still gone. Dean said we are gonna find him no matter what. The roadhouse burned and it smells like you. I got sick from it. I keep on crying.