The Runt of the Litter

In Your Eyes, I See Myself

Note: I wrote this totally in the spur of the moment. It turned out longer than I thought it would but not excessively long like the last chapter, I promise. I wanted to explore a couple different things. Mostly, I got this title stuck in my head and had to write something that fit with it. Features some angry, scolding older brothers and a seventeen year old Anna. Thank you for reading.

In Your Eyes, I See Myself

Anna sat rigid in her chair, watching Dean pace back and forth. He was still holding that damn pill bottle in a crushing grip. His face was so tight with anger, Anna thought he might explode with it. Then he finally turned on her, slammed the bottle down on the table between them, and asked the question she'd been dreadfully waiting for.

"I can't even believe I'm asking you this," he said darkly, his face the picture of stoicism. His eyes narrowed, and Anna could see the well-masked fear in them. He wanted to be wrong. She couldn't blame him. She wished he was wrong. His face hardened. "Anna Grace, did you take any of these?"

Anna swallowed hard as the question was posed. It hung heavy in the air as she stared at him. She didn't want to answer, because he was reacting more harshly than she'd expected him to and suddenly the aftermath of this mistake seemed a little less bearable. She sent a silent prayer to nobody in particular begging that this remain something they could move past, asking for assurance that she hadn't gone too far.

She didn't want to answer. But lying would get her nowhere except into deeper shit. So she looked up and met her older brother's serious gaze, almost wincing at the hope and anger she saw there, and she crushed him with a single nod.

There was a dangerous pause during which her reply held them all captive. She held Dean's gaze and was surprised at how stolid he remained. Then he pulled back, his face the essence of calm for a moment. He looked past her to Sam who was sitting on one of the motel beds, eyes locked on their little sister. Like lightning, Dean's hand shot out, snatched up the pill bottle, and threw it hard at the wall.

Anna flinched bodily as the cap broke off the bottle and little round pills flew in every direction. One rolled back across the carpet, landing delicately beside her foot. As the room grew quiet again, it became harder not to cry.

"Do you have any IDEA how stupid that was?" Dean demanded. It wasn't a question, but a shout.

Anna shrunk away from his anger in a way she'd never before felt she had to. Of course, she knew it was stupid. Drugs? It had never even been a consideration. But she'd felt cornered at the time, and... Well, there was no and. She shouldn't have done what she did. There were a hundred other ways she could have removed herself from the situation. She should have pulled out her phone and called one of her brothers, and then that guy would have backed off. But she hadn't done that. Maybe she needed to admit to herself that she'd been curious and had slipped up of her own accord, that she had only herself to blame.

"Dean." Sam stepped between them and put a hand on Anna's shoulder.

Anna knew better than to think that meant Sam was any less pissed than Dean. But the gentle touch was welcome considering what a chaotic mess of emotions she was at the moment. She was terrified, confused, and angry. Angry with herself.

"No, Sam," Dean said immediately, not even giving either of them time to breathe. It kept Anna from relaxing beneath Sam's touch. She watched as her brothers stared at each other, seemingly at an impasse. After a minute, Dean pushed Sam carefully out of the way just enough to meet Anna's nervous green eyes. "Don't move one muscle," he instructed coldly. Then he jerked his head toward the door and Sam followed him outside.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Anna let out a heavy breath. She focused on keeping in the tears that had been threatening to fall since the second Sam pulled the bottle out of her jacket pocket and fixed her with a look of absolute heartbreak.