Chapter 13

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Arabella was pacing in her room the next morning. She had been foolish to flirt with him, to tease him when she knew he liked her, and she was beginning to think she liked him back more than she originally thought. He had been in her thoughts ever since they left that party. They'd awkwardly said goodbye to his friends and winnowed home with the rest of the Inner Circle. She immediately rushed to her room, had a bath and tried to think about anything else. But, she couldn't, her heart and body were yearning for Nyx and she hated it. He was annoying and rude and flirtatious, he was everything that she avoided. But he plagued her every thought.

Mercifully, Cassian had canceled training after he drank too much last night, but Arabella would still be training with Nyx in the afternoon. So she hid in her room, like a coward.

She wanted to kiss him again. She enjoyed the way he knew how to please her, she melted when he had picked her up and spun them around. She had been playing the scene over and over again in her mind. Her hands in his hair, his hands gripping her thighs, cauldron he tasted good. And Arabella wanted more. She wanted so much more, but she'd be damned if she told Nyx that. He would probably reply with some arrogant response and make Arabella angry. But, with all the time to think, she thought, perhaps there was a way she could kiss him again, without the worries of commitment.

Because that was her biggest worry. It wasn't just the fact that they were two heirs to different courts and politically they wouldn't work out, which meant she couldn't get attached, but Zachery had ruined relationships for her.

He was a member of her personal guard, selected by Torin. He was so kind to her, he was funny and sweet, he was a few years older than her. They were merely friends at first, although, Arabella always had a big crush on him. One day, on their routine walk around the garden, he had kissed her, and she had fallen right into his arms.

Their relationship had been secret for many years. Arabella had been afraid her parents wouldn't approve, because Zachery was no lord and he knew nobody in a position of power. Looking back, Arabella realised she had been foolish, her parents would accept anyone she loved, as long as they were nice to her. Zachery was nice...at the beginning. He was her first relationship, and he meant the world to her, she always thought that she meant the world to him too.

Then he started yelling at her. At first he blamed the stresses of work, and he'd apologise and Arabella would forgive him. Then he asked for a key into her room, it usually remained locked at night, but Arabella loved Zachery and she trusted him.

He delighted on feeling powerful. He loved it when she was submissive and weak. He liked it when he'd raise a hand and she'd flinch. Arabella had deteriorated for those few years with him, she barely ate, didn't sleep and didn't attend training like she used to.

Zachery used the key she gave him, to come into her room at night and needle her with anaesthetic. To make her fall unconscious, he merely smiled as she struggled to fight him. He was psychotic. He did not harm her while she was sleeping, he simply got off on it. He enjoyed seeing her lay there because he had drugged her. She would sit awake at night, waiting for him to come, hoping that this time she could fight him off. But, she hadn't been training and eating, she was weak, and he got to her every time.

Eventually, she had broken down and told her dads what had been happening. Torin had immediately tracked him down and beaten him to a pulp. Even when she had confessed about her secret relationship and his abusive tendencies, she was still defending him. Her parents banished him from ever returning to the Dawn Court, she had never been more thankful.

That same year she met Nyx.

She wasn't looking for a relationship and was still recovering from her lack of food and sleep, but she couldn't ignore him. Despite the fact that Nyx teases her, annoys her and is arrogant, he was always better than Zachery. And although she still didn't want a relationship, still didn't think she was ready, she found herself standing outside his bedroom door.

She took a deep breath. If he laughed in her face, she'd kick him in the balls. But, before she could knock, Nyx had opened the door.

"Belle?" He asked, as if not quite believing his eyes.

Arabella ushered him back into his room, following behind him, she checked the hallway that nobody was watching before she closed the door.

"Belle, what are you doing?" He said as he stumbled backwards on his feet.

"Shh!" She hissed.

Nyx tumbled back so he was sitting on his bed, looking up at her dumbfounded. Arabella checked the hallway one more time before she faced him.

"Arabella, what is it?" He said head tilting at her obvious nervousness.

Arabella clenched and unclenched her fists behind her.

"If you laugh I'm going to kick you in the balls", she said as an opening.

Amusement danced in his eyes but he merely remained seated and listening.

"Fuck", Arabella cursed herself, he was definitely going to laugh but she could at least try, "I want to be friends with benefits with you".

Nyx blinked as if not quite believing what he heard.

Arabella continued her ramble, "I like kissing you and I don't want it to stop", it felt painful to admit, "but I also don't want a committed relationship".

Nyx's previously agape mouth, turned into a smirk.

"I knew I was a good kisser", he said smirking.

Arabella glared at him, "don't laugh at me".

"I'm not laughing", he said raising his hands defensively.

"Just say yes or no so I can go back to my room", Arabella hissed impatiently.

Nyx smirked and then grabbed the back of her thighs so she was positioned in front of him. Arabella blushed at the way he looked at her.

"I'll always say yes to you", he said gently kissing her thigh while maintaining eye contact.

Arabella sighed in relief. At least she wasn't rejected.

Nyx pulled Arabella forward so she fell onto his lap, Arabella yelped at the movement. He smirked as he drew lazy circles on her thigh.

"When can I start, boss?" He said kissing her neck softly.

Arabella rolled her neck back, allowing him to access more area. He kept kissing her slowly as if he was savouring the moment.

"Whenever you'd like", she said breathlessly.

Nyx chuckled at her obvious arousal, the sound vibrating along her neck. Slowly his hands made their way up to her hips, playing with the hem of her shirt. Arabella's thoughts had left her head, there was only Nyx and his hands, and the place she desperately wanted him to be. She didn't even realise she'd been grinding on him until he let out a low growl.

"Careful", he said lowly, "my parents are down stairs".

"I don't care", Arabella hissed, she was feeling impatient and needy.

He chuckled again and began to kiss her neck faster, moving down towards her breast.

"Nyx", she said impatiently.

She felt him smile, "I love it when you say my name".

Just before she could push him back onto the bed and take matters into her own hands, there was a knock on Nyx's door.

"Lunch is ready", his mother said.

Nyx cleared his throat, "coming!"

Reluctantly Arabella peeled herself off of Nyx's lap. Nyx stood up, straightening his clothes. Arabella willed the heat from her cheeks to disappear. Nyx approached her and gave her a quick peck to the lips.

"Don't worry", he said, "we can finish this later".

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