Because You Love Me

14. Muggle Studies

Severus didn't know what to do.  He was absolutely beside himself.  His heart was beating wildly and he was feeling things he had felt that day ten years ago.  The only problem was it was stronger now.  Almost overpowering.  Was it possible?  Did he really love her?  After three days of saving her life, comforting her in a time of grief, and talking to her, could he really have fallen in love with her?  It didn't seem possible.  It was too soon, wasn't it?  Maybe not.

He walked down the corridor at Hogwarts, having just arrived and put his things in his office, heading toward Dumbledore's office.  He didn't really know what to make of what he was feeling at the moment.  The only thing he did know was he needed Alaina within reach.  She made him feel something he hadn't felt in a long time: human.  He needed to be human if he was going to be dealing with Harry.  She also brought out a primitive emotion in him.  He felt the need to protect her with every fiber of his being.  Although he could stick to the original plan he had concocted.  He could just pretend he didn't have a care in the world about either one of them and go on about his life and protect the both of them from a distance.  That would make more sense than trying to sort out the mess going on inside of him.  But he just wouldn't let himself.

He didn't really know Alaina anymore, he argued with himself.  They were friends for three days in a time of war.  War always brought people closer together.  Even those who were enemies.  This was all that had been.  She had probably moved on with her life.  He didn't even know if she was married or if she was still single.  What if she was married?  His heart would be shattered if it were the case.  The more he thought about it, the more he figured maybe he might be better off to leave the whole thing alone.  Let Alaina live in her house among the Muggles and wash his hands of her.

"No," he said out loud as he stopped in front of the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office.  "I won't take a backseat any longer.  I won't let her go like I did Lily."  He clenched his fists at his side.  He had to do this.  If not for his heart, then for his sanity.  "Lemon Drops."

The gargoyle opened up the passage and he hurried up the staircase.  He prayed Dumbledore had not done anything just yet.  It was the perfect way to get Alaina there with him so he could keep an eye on her.  And that was exactly the reason he would give his old friend when he asked for one.  The door was open when he reached the top and he stopped in front of it, taking a deep breath before going inside.

Albus Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, hard at work on something in front of him.  He didn't even notice when Severus came in or when he stopped at his desk.

"Albus?"

Dumbledore looked up.  He wasn't surprised Severus was there in front of him.  He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling as they always were.  "Yes?"

"I need to speak with you about something," Severus said.  "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course I have a moment.  I was just getting ready to send an owl to the Minister of Magic to tell him to send me a teacher for the position that's open."

"Muggle Studies, correct?"

"Yes.  Don't tell me you're interested in teaching the class?"

"No," he said flatly, "but I do know someone who might be."

Albus raised an eyebrow.  "Who?"

Severus licked his lips nervously.  "Alaina Evans."

He frowned, which was not really the reaction Severus was hoping for.  "I don't know."

"Why not?  She's just as qualified as Charity Burbbage, plus she has experience living among them."  His voice got a bitter edge as he said the next line.  "Ten years worth."