Because You Love Me

17. Sorted

His lips were sweet on hers, like butterfly wings gracing her skin.  She wanted him more than anything in the world.  He ran his fingers tenderly through her hair and caressed her face.  His touch was almost more than she could handle.

She wrapped her arms around him tighter, not wanting to let him go.  Tears rolled down her cheeks as she deepened the kiss, pulling him even closer.  She didn't want to say goodbye.  When she finally pulled back from him, he was crying, too.

"I have something to tell you, Alaina," Severus said.

"What is it?  You can tell me anything."

He seemed nervous, fidgeting with his cuticles.  "I went back to my old ways."

She frowned at him.  "What old ways, Severus?"

"I'm a Death Eater."

Alaina swallowed hard.  "No.  Please tell me it isn't true."

"I'm sorry.  I didn't know what to do while you were gone.  I had to go back."

"You could have come to me and Harry.  You could have stayed with us."

"They would have only killed you.  It's why I've been sent here now."

She looked up at him, her eyes widening.  "Severus, please­-"

He calmly drew his wand.  "You and I can never be together.  The darkness inside of me, it won't let us."

She put her hands up in front of her.  "Please don't.  No."

"I'm sorry, Alaina, but this is the way it has to be."

She closed her eyes tightly as a flash of green lit up the room around her.

Alaina drew in a sharp breath and her eyes flew open wide.

"Alaina, what's wrong?" a concerned voice asked her.  "What happened?"

She glanced all around her.  She was on the train, still in Severus's arms.  A wave of relief washed over her.  He was staring at her, his face etched with concern.

"Nothing," she answered finally.  "Nothing now.  It was just a nightmare."

"You jumped like someone had fired a spell at you."

"It was pretty intense."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.  How could she tell him that she dreamed about him killing her?  "No.  It's best if I don't talk about it.  I just want to forget it."

Severus frowned.  She was looking at him strangely, almost fearfully.  It was like she was scared to death he was going to strike her or something.  "Alaina, you know I would never do anything to hurt you, don't you?"

Alaina stared at him.  It was like he had read her mind.  She had tried so hard not to seem afraid when she woke up, but it had scared her terribly.  She had no choice but to be scared.  She was hesitant to answer the question he asked.  If he only knew the nightmare she had just experienced he would already know the answer.  She wasn't really sure.  He hadn't hurt her up to this point, but how much had he changed in ten years?  This was what was really bothering her.  Had Severus changed?  And if so, was it for the better?

The fact she was just staring at him was worrisome.  Did she think he would hurt her?

"Alaina?"

She sighed.  "I'm sorry, Severus.  I just-  That nightmare really shook me.  I was just thinking about it before I went to sleep.  I don't really know you anymore.  Not that I knew you well before, but a lot can happen to a person in ten years."