Small But Loved (Age-Regression)

Chapter Fifteen: Newborn Fears

Kai POV:

Mila screeches in my arms as I try to comfort her as she cries. Her tiny hands are balled into fists as she sobs, trying to nurse on my pec. Mom and Dad had to leave for a few hours for an important follow up doctors appointment regarding Mom's head injury. Being the good son I am, I decided to watch Mila for them. Worst decision of my life.

As soon as they left, Mila slipped into a newborn headspace. I guess Mom leaving triggered Mila's separation anxiety, causing her to slip further than usual. All she's done for the past forty-five minutes is scream. My eardrums feel like they're about to burst. I've tried everything. Bottles filled with Mom's milk, changing her, burping her, rocking her, singing. Nothing's wrong with her, she just wants Mom. 

It's got to the point that I had to call West for backup. Mila acting like this is going to be strange for him to witness. I'm probably going to have to explain that Mila is actually fourteen and not two. That she regresses and she's in a newborn headspace right now. I hope he doesn't take it in the wrong way. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. 

"West is on his way. He's going to help us." I tell Mila over the sound of her screams. I'm currently pacing the living room while bouncing her in my arms. Hopefully, West will be here soon. 

Right as I get to the point of hopelessness, the doorbell rings. I rush to open it. West stands there, his eyes wide as he takes in the sound of Mila's watery screeches. "What's wrong with her?"

"Mom left and she's freaking out. Help me." I'm begging at this point, but I don't care. Maybe West can fix this. I thrust Mila into his arms, careful of her floppy head. He takes her in his arms, adjusting her body so that he's cradling her with her head in the crook of his left arm. 

Mila's cries almost instantly stop. She blinks up at him through teary eyes and sniffles. "How did you do that? Doesn't she not like you?"

I step back so West can enter the house while I wait on his answer. He shrugs his shoulders and says, "Babies can feel your stress. She was probably crying because you were stressing each other out."

"Lies." I mutter under my breath as I guide West to the living room. He plops down on the sofa, taking in the mess I've made in here. There's at least five bottles of spoiled milk laying on the coffee table, diapers and toys spread out on the floor, and several pacifiers laid on random locations throughout the room.

West releases a high pitched whistle and comments, "You really did a number in here."

"Would you believe me if I told you that Mom and Dad have only been gone for an hour?"

My boyfriend bellows out a laugh, startling Mina. Her hazel eyes widen and she almost looks like she's about to start crying again. "No, don't start that. You're okay. Brother West has you." He coos as he strokes his finger over the bridge of Mila's nose.

She gives him the cutest coo and I watch as West's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Why is she acting like this? Mila's all floppy and she seems to be acting a lot younger than she is." 

My hand reaches up to scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. How do I explain this to him? I'm truly hoping he doesn't judge Mila. I would rather him judge me than her. I can take it, she cant. "Why do you look scared, Kai? What's going on?"

I clear my throat awkwardly asking, "Have you ever heard of age regression?"

West looks seriously confused. He shakes his head and gestures with his hand for me to keep talking. "Well, it's basically where a person regresses mentally to a younger version of themselves. They enter this headspace. I guess you can call it that." I'm not really doing a good job of explaining.

 "What does any of that have to do with Mila?"

"Hold on. I'm getting to it." 

I take a deep breath and slap my hands down on my knees. "Basically, Mila regresses like that. She's actually fourteen, a week away from being fifteen. She was born with a rare form of dwarfism that caused her to stop growing at the age of three. If you don't believe me, Mom has her original birth certificate in her office. Anyways, Mila takes on a younger mindset. She usually stays around two, but drops lower sometimes. What you're seeing is newborn Mila."

My eyes soften as I look at my little sister. I love when she's in a newborn headspace. Well, that is when she isn't screaming her little soul out. "Wait. Just wait. Mila isn't a real toddler?" West abruptly asks, startling me. 

"No, she's not. Mom and Dad adopted Mila because she could permanently be their baby after they lost their only biological child. They wouldn't have forced her into it. Mila does all of this on her own volition. Nobody forces her to act this way. In fact, there have even been times where she comes out of her headspace. Teenage Mila is saucy and loves to tease me. You would love her when she's like that." 

West seems conflicted. I can see the gears turning in his head. He slowly stands up and walks over to me, placing Mila back down in my arms. My stomach drops and I feel my throat clog with emotion. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not mad that you guys choose to live your lives like that. It's not hurting anybody. I may not understand it, but who am I to judge? What I am mad about is that you kept this from me. It was a lie, but it was a lie by omission. I just need some time, okay? I'll text you." With that said, West turns towards the door and leaves. 

Tears build behind my eyes and I bite my lip to keep them from falling. A part of me wants to blame Mila for this. Rationally, I know it isn't her fault. I kept this from West. There's nobody to blame but myself. Is he breaking up with me? I don't think I will be able to bear him breaking up with me. I just love him too much. 

My heart is actively breaking. I'm trying to hold it together for Mila, but I can't. The dam bursts and I crumple. Holding Mila close to my chest, I sob and sob.

***

By the time Mom and Dad return home, my eyes are red and watery. Mila is asleep in her swing and seems to be content for now. "We're home, Kai! How was Mila?" Mom shouts as she walks through the door and into the living room. 

She instantly stops in her tracks when she sees the state I'm in. "What's wrong?" Mom rushes towards me and crouches down next to me on the floor, pulling my head into her chest. All I can do is cry and cry. Blubbering words that make no sense leave my mouth. My world feels like it's ending. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not, simply because he didn't technically break up with me. But he still walked out on me after I explained something deeply personal to him. 

That's what makes me feel like I'm shattering into thousands of tiny pieces. I would take Dad's beatings over what I'm feeling right now. That was physical pain that eventually went away. This is emotional pain that feels like it's tearing out shards of my soul. 

"Baby boy, please tell me what's wrong. I cant help you if you don't use your words." Mom whispers, holding both sides of my face with the palms of her hands.

I explain everything that happened. From Mila's non stop screaming, to me calling West for help, and finally the aftermath of me explaining Mila. Mom looks at me sympathetically, pulling my head down to rest on her lap. She runs her fingers through my hair while wiping my tears with her other hand. 

"My boy. My sweet boy. Here's what we're going to do; I'm going to call West and invite him over for dinner. You two are going to talk it out like the young adults you both are. I can understand both sides of this issue. West feels upset because you weren't truthful, and you feel hurt because he left. This can be easily fixed. I'm not going to let you two break up because of this. I got you, baby." 

Mom keeps on reassuring me while I slowly pull myself together. Eventually, my tears slowly dry and I sit up, leaning against Mom's side. "There's my sweet son. I'm going to go give West a call. Go clean yourself up."

I nod and stand up, walking slowly to the bathroom. I have no idea what's going to happen at this dinner or if West is even going to show up. I'm in love with West. That's something I know is true. And if he loves me as much as I love him, then we'll be okay.