BOOK THREE - promised series
Espheros is inhabited by more than just the human species. Shifters and Immortals walk the earth amongst them, hiding in the shadows.
There are some humans, however, who are very much aware of what moves through the dar...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"It's sadness, I am certain now!" I told him without greeting him first. He seemed taken aback by my frantic and out of the blue appearance.
Slightly startled, he turned to me and though he couldn't see, he looked right at me, raising an eyebrow.
"This is not news. This was clear last time we sat down," he said, irritated.
Maybe it had been clear––but I hadn't accepted it. Now, I wasn't afraid anymore.
"How did you finally find out?" he asked, not at all curious about why it was sadness and not anger or something similarly intense.
"It just came to me I guess," I said, not letting his gruff mood tear down the excitement that still rushed through me. "We need to practice. Right now."
Feiran didn't respond to my request, and even when he walked away and I followed him, no reply came. So, in silence, I continued to follow him down the hallway and out to the courtyard, which we crossed, and then over to the back of the palace where we met in one of the grass fields that stretched on for lengths until we reached the forest that lined the horizon.
"I want you to focus on your sadness and let it pass through you. Doesn't matter how it physically affects you." Feiran was determined and his voice very cool as he spoke. "You finally need to utilize your emotions, girl. Channel it. Your sadness, like I've told you before. Try it again, and this time knowingly use your sadness as a weapon and not as a crutch. Being aware of it makes a big difference. It should come easier this time around."
It was the first time he spoke since I bumped into him in the palace and I tried to internalize what he said, but first I needed to calm my mind and soul.
So, I sat down onto a fat log that lay scattered across the forest bed with a lot of other tree-barks and foliage and closed my eyes. Knowing what he would tell me to do next, I already concentrated on the sounds of the forest, as scarce as they were. The birds that chirped were foreign to me but had a sweet call that resounded. It was light and feathery, and I knew from the sound alone that it belonged to a small species of bird. Some insects hummed as well, though not many. Other kind of larger animals didn't live here, apparently, for those were the only sounds really that were audible. The only other thing I managed to focus on was a splashing sound from far off in the distance, probably a waterfall.
"Take in your surroundings," he said as predicted. "And let everything soak in."
Smell came next. Small bees buzzed in the distance, carrying the sweet smell of honey through the forest as they searched for their hive. A few flowers offered a mixture of sour and sweet, while some trees emanated a slightly spicy after-note. All in all, as I concentrated, so many different things invaded my senses when I opened my mind to all of it.
And without really thinking about it, suddenly something washed over me that was not cold and not hot. It did not feel unpleasant––but wasn't pleasant, either. It seemed to pour into me, penetrating my walls without being met with resistance, and invaded my entire mind without feeling like an intrusion. I remained calm, embracing the sensations, and concentrated on remaining still in both mind and body.
Then, a small tingle went down my back and a rush of sadness overcame me, tears instantly welling up in my eyes, creating a small sting. When the tears rolled down my cheek and I tasted the salty liquid in the crook of my mouth, that rush settled into me and cushioned itself, as if it had arrived after being gone for a long time and wasn't planning on leaving. Though sadness had always been such a heavy, burdening feeling, now it simply felt familiar. It was different to when I'd controlled Deina. This is what the beginning of true control felt like.
There was no weight to it, no pain, no uncomfortable sense at all that might have clouded my judgement or blurred the lines.
It filled out the lines and became the picture it was always meant to be.
And then, though it was not the first time I saw it, a tear shaped symbol swam before my mind. It was the embodiment of the sadness.
Reaching to grab it, not with my hand but with my mind, I touched it. And like Feiran instructed, I tried not to let the sadness completely consume me, but rather pass through me so I could use its power and channel it. I imagined it being like a battery that would give me strength when I drew upon it.
The only thing I needed to do was place the sadness somewhere within myself where it couldn't consume my entire being and drown out everything else.
My ocean was dark with the emotion, the entirety of it already drenched in darkness.
Uncertainty suddenly threatened to disconnect me with the serenity that I'd acquired. What if the darkness would stay and I would feel like this forever? Was it possible that I could never feel happiness again?
It seemed that Feiran noticed my wavering concentration as my breathing became slightly labored.
"Don't let it consume you," he reminded, his voice far, far away.
His voice was enough to regain concentration and not let myself sink beneath the uncertainty which acted like quicksand. Instead, I got back my footing and continued to try and encompass the tear without letting it control me.
And so, I stored it, within my ocean, in a place that came from great depths but was not unreachable. As it passed through me until it reached my core, the source of my powers, the pressure lessened and breathing came easier.
Like putting on a glove, it surrounded my core, but did not melt into it.
And once I reopened my eyes, determination dominated my soul and I let a wave of power surge through my veins.
Hot and fast it slid into every part of my body, relaxing my muscles as I squared my shoulders and held out my hands. Warmth tingled in my fingertips and a white glow spread from my palms, covering my hands in its mystical essence. It was not black like it had been with Deina, in the same colour that the tear of sadness had.
It was white because it was undetermined and purely magic.
In that moment I decided which emotion I wanted to release, and though I felt absolutely nothing but determination fuel my strength, willingness to listen was what my instinct made me create.
And as I watched the white glow flow towards Feiran, I had no physical reaction to the use of my gift. I felt invincible.
As if on autopilot, I heard myself say, "Move towards me."
And without any form of resistance, Feiran took a few steps closer to me and his white eyes grew large with surprise.
Before he could utter anything, I said, "Sit."
And the man sat down. "Tell me who you are."
I wasn't sure where that question came from or when my mind decided to ask it aloud, but once I did, the words could not be taken back.
