36: The Past

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If there was anything capable of rendering me utterly speechless and could make my heart stop and discontinue pumping blood through my veins, it was those five words that came out of Feiran's mouth

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If there was anything capable of rendering me utterly speechless and could make my heart stop and discontinue pumping blood through my veins, it was those five words that came out of Feiran's mouth.

The fact that my gift went far enough to control someone as effortlessly as I just had also made the hair on my skin stand up, as if I'd touched electricity, and now anticipation, worry and a sense of shock sizzled through my body, my mind alert and my thoughts starting to spin as I tried to make sense of it all.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked, my voice cautious as I spoke.

Without hesitation, Feiran, or Xenon, shook his head. "Just that you are Kar Reagan's promised."

I nearly scoffed at the fact that he had indeed never asked for my name.

"My name is Catherine Black," I said, and Xenon's face drained of all his colour, turning a ghostly sheet of white, mirroring his eyes.

A wave of strength flooded through me, Reagan supporting me from afar without even knowing what I needed it for. He must have felt my spirits drop with a shock that rattled me to my core. I appreciated his influence, for it cleared my mind and let me remain in complete control. Though Feiran's revelation was a shock, I did not let it dismantle me. Reagan aided me without hesitation nor question.

"What is your mother's name?" he asked, as if he needed more confirmation than we both already had.

"Iliria."

At that, Xenon sucked in a sharp breath, as if only now realising the weight of what we both had just learned.

"So, we finally meet," he said, surprising me by not remaining silent, like he usually did, unless he had commands to spout.

Feeling slightly conflicted, I wasn't sure how to react to him. He was my father, after all, and he'd left us almost twenty years ago. For what, exactly?

To sit here and harass people who required training? Something about him being blind also settled in my stomach, and I felt strange knowing that he would never be able to see what I looked like. Suddenly a sense of loss went through me, and it confused me. Shouldn't I feel relieved to finally meet the man who had made my existence possible?

"You ruined her," I blurted, not fully registering where that came from.

Something about me gaining full control over my gift seemed to lessen the control over my thoughts, what came out and what remained inside.

Xenon's face fell and though he couldn't see, his eyes looked down, shame washing through him. "I know."

I scoffed. "How could you possibly know that?" Shaking my head, anger began to rise within me, stirring my ocean.

His face remained that way, his shoulders slumped, so small all of a sudden.

"Because I feel the same."

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