Lush... |BTS OT7 x Y/N| F.F | 18+

14 - Jar of Hearts

Back at BigHit you decide to take some time to wind down and mentally prepare for the schedule ahead. After giving BonHwa the rest of the day off and instructing the rest of the BTS styling team to report at the building by 8 a.m. the next morning, so that you can issue them their company I.D's and introduce them to the members, you head to your studio to catch up on your, very insignificant, social media life and follow up with your attorney about the divorce you filed for three days ago.

You haven't heard anything from Hwan since the morning you landed up in hospital and after moving in with Bon, for the duration of your recovery period, you decided to have the locks of your house changed and file for the divorce in the hopes it would be enough to draw Hwan out of the shadows he has been hiding in.

But nothing. No angry texts or calls. Not even unexpected visits. 

You had your first therapy visit with the recommended psychologist the day after you got discharged and she suggested that your subconscious hasn't caught up and come to terms with what happened after you told her that you didn't really understand what the reason was for the appointments, because you felt fine. After a back and forth she informed you that if you were to stop the sessions for any reason she would have you committed and labeled as a danger to yourself and others. Naturally you capitulated to her instruction to keep your freedom knowing that you have far more pressing things to tend to.

Stubborn bitch...

Once in your studio you start up your PC and go through you personal email, seeing that you had a response from you attorney late last night. Opening the mail you see that he had sent two copies of the divorce summons to both, your house and Hwan's mother's back in Busan.

Great. The fucking woman hates my guts already, now I'm filing for divorce from her beloved son and sending it to her.

You swipe your hand over your face imagining her reaction after finding the yellow summons file.

Well Mrs. Chan, your darling boy is a rotten-to-the-core piece of shit, who gets his kicks from carving his name into the flesh of the woman he promised to love, respect and protect. So yeah, I'm leaving his ass and I'm taking my money with me.

You sit looking through the PDF copy of the summons and as you read through the police report about the night Hwan took an ice pick to your thigh, you feel a sharp pain ripping through you from the area that is still stitched up and healing. You rub at the area knowing it's just phantom pains from the memory. The wound has actually healed really well, along with the cut on your wrist. The plastic surgeon that did the stitches did an incredible job and now both areas will only show a faint scar that, if one were to really look closely, will be invisible.

You decide that, dwelling on the horrible past wouldn't be the best way to wind down, so you open your YouTube and search for some backtracks you could sing to. You find the backtrack to Christina Perry's Jar of Hearts and set up your recorder and equalizer streaming the melody through your headset.

"I know I can't take one more step towards you'
Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most" You sing every word with all the emotion you've been feeling laced in your voice.

"Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul"

You continue singing, feeling tears starting to well up in your eyes but you push through knowing that, apart from the dancing, singing and music has always helped you through the worst of times and to let go of your deep rooted emotions. So you put everything you have into the lyrics, giving the song a new meaning.