𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚 ( Na Jaemin mafia au )

𝐴𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 （29）

!TW! Mention of SH and Weight Loss in this chapter!

Jaemin's Pov

"You know Jaemin, it's your fault after all for deciding to date that girl. You knew the consequences it would bring to date her. What even went through your mind on that day? You're  probably nothing more than some cheap birthday gift for her. After all, she's the daughter of a fucking mafia boss. She's seen better stuff. Why don't you just give up and let her suffer and pay off the dept herself? Save yourself man, its not worth i-"

"Shut your mouth man."

It's not possible that she only sees me as a birthday gift. Although we weren't together for that long we did so much together and created so many memories. I know she loves me and she knows I love her.

Yes, she might be going crazy because i haven't come home in such a long time, but once i get all the money and pay off her dads debt we will live the life we both want and need.

Only a few more missions and I'll have enough. I will finally be able to see her again properly and not just have to see her while she's asleep. I must say though, she looks absolutely gorgeous while asleep. But she looks better talking to me, hugging me, spending time with me, hanging out with me, sleeping beside me, kissing me.

"Jaemin stop daydreaming. Get out of the car, you know the drill."

Sigh.

Y/n's Pov

Why is my bed so hard? What the hell?

I opened my eyes just to see myself laying on the kitchen floor, wondering how I got here.

It didn't take me long to realise I most likely passed out from the stress earlier. Or when did all of this happen again?

I lost all sense of time.

I got up, looked at the clock and it was 8pm. That's a new record of napping, wasn't it like 9am a while ago?

It's whatever now.

I made my way to the couch and just sat there, not even thinking of anything. I spaced out and that's it. Silence filled the room and it stayed this way until eventually the rumbling in my stomach broke the silence.

Me passing out made me forget that I still have to eat, so I made my way to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator, found some noodles, chicken and my favourite sauce.

I heated everything up in the microwave and once everything was down I ate everything on the spot.

It's almost like my body went on full on autopilot mode, I had no control over it whatsoever.

It took me back to bed, I turned to my side and closed my eyes. Without falling asleep I just thought about life, all the memories I've made with all sorts of people. Plans I made which I didn't fulfil.

Wait.

Didn't I have plans for today?

...

I kept laying in bed. No longer got up. I only ever got up at this point to go to the toilet, eat, and go back to my room.

All sorts of plans I made for the holiday have been forgotten, school was long forgotten too.

I just felt like nothing. Time passed by quicker each day. I started sleeping through days, I lost loads of weight.

Next thing I knew weeks passed by. Months. Years.

I went from being a healthy person, perfect weight, perfect health, no mental or physical problems to being this unrecognisable mess.

Self harming, starving myself, sleeping.

I gave up.

All I could think of was the pain I got from cutting myself. It made me feel complete.

Soon enough there was no more space to harm myself on my arms, I moved on to other places and I stopped thinking of how I looked now. I'm sure I looked horrifying, my hair is falling out, I practically see my bones through my skin, I can feel my eyebags from oversleeping.

This went on for a long time.

I was on the edge of life.

I once again was ready to go to bed after doing the same activities I've been doing for god knows how long, but then a loud kick could be heard from downstairs.

"Y/N!"

to be continued...