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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘢𝘭
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SAM AND BUCKY were stood outside of the house, Sam throwing the shield at the trees and catching it as it bounced off the pads he'd attached to the trunks while Bucky watched.
"Feels weird..." Sam looked down at the shield in his hold. "Picking it up again."
He threw it at another tree and looked ahead as it ricocheted to the next before flying over to Bucky, who caught it.
"The legacy of that shield is... complicated, to say the least."
Bucky sighed. "When Steve told me what he was planning... I don't think any of us understood what it felt like for a black man to be handed the shield. How could we? I owe you an apology." Bucky held out the shield for Sam. "I'm sorry."
Sam took the shield and nodded. "Thank you."
"Whatever happened with Walker, it wasn't your fault." Bucky said. "I get it, it's just... that shield, it's the closest thing I've got left to a family. So when you retired it, it made me feel like I had nothing left. Made me question everything. You, Steve, me." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small notebook that used to belong to Steve. "I've got his, uh..."
"Steve's book." Sam chuckled, thinking back to the times when he'd see Steve checking things off on his bucket list that was written inside.
"Yeah." Bucky muttered, flicking through the pages and staring at Steve's old writing. "Carson gave it to me when he was going through Steve's things... and uh, I just figured if it worked for him, then it'd work for me."
"I understand, Buck." Sam smiled sadly at him. "But... he's gone. Steve is gone. And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought."
"But he's— was... my best friend."
"I know." Sam nodded. "But you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are. Let me ask you, are you still having those nightmares?"
"All the time..." Bucky said quietly, looking down at the ground. "It means I remember. It means a part of me is still there. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier's still in me."
"You up for a little tough love?" Sam asked.
Bucky took a deep breath and looked up at Sam, giving him a small nod.
"You want to climb out of the hell you're in, do the work. Do it."
"I've been making amends."
"Nah. You weren't amending, you were avenging." Sam shrugged. "You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Winter Soldier, because you though it would bring you closure. You go to these people and say sorry because you think it'll make you feel better, right? But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them and be of service. I'm sure there's at least one person in that book who needs closure about something and you're the only person who can give it to 'em."
