Cologne 3 (Yaoi BoyXBoy)

Chapter 11: Alone

Chapter 11: Alone

We sat at the dinner table in silence. Yamada ate his food neatly, and when he was done, he went to wash it on his own. I guess he remembers where everything is in the house.

His eyes became grayer, and whiter by the day. It frightened me, but he never once complained ever since the day he recovered his memory.

"Yamada can we speak?" I asked.

"No. I have nothing to say to you. You cheated on me, and that is unforgivable." His voice stern, and uptight.

"I love you Yamada."

He ignores me, and walks upstairs. I knew my words wouldn't reach him anymore. When he is mad, he stays mad.

Being in the house made me sick. I went outside to my car, and drove down to Megumi's house. I pulled into the driveway, and went to knock on her door. She opens it, and smiles. "Hello Kyou. Come in."

As she closed the door, I turned to face her, and grabbed her by the shoulders. Her eyes widen, and I kissed her. She doesn't resist me, and she kisses me back gently.

I wanted to feel loved. I never felt loved from Yamada. I wanted to be needed. I wanted someone to tell me they loved me. I wanted that so badly.

"Please love me." I cried. Her face frowns, and she hugs me.

"Kyou what's wrong?"

"I know I made a mistake! I keep hurting the people I love." I couldn't control my uncontrollable crying. I could feel Megumi's hands rubbing my back to calm me down, but nothing worked. I was way too down.

I drifted off into memory lane when I was younger in high school......

"I l-like you." I said nervously to Keiko. She was the most popular girl in our class. Her beautiful long black hair always shined so brightly, and her girly scent swooned me, and long lashes always got many guys chasing after her. I knew I was a loser, and she would never give me the light of day, but I had to try.

"Gross. You think someone like you can win someone like me? You look like a emo depressed kid." She points to my black hair that scattered all over my eyes. She walks away, and laughs.

I frowned looking down at the red envelope in my hand. I had written down my feelings for her, and never got a chance to show her. I could see a drop of liquid on my hand. My tears fell. It was pathetic, but being rejected constantly has taken a toll on me. I am now 16, and still didn't have a girlfriend. All my friends were already bragging about how they had sex, and here I am not even knowing what a kiss on the lips feels like.

I ran up to the school roof, and sobbed there. My fingers laced the fence, and I pressed my face against the cold fence. I wish I stood out. I wish a girl would notice me.

I walked home, and went to a convenience store nearby. I went over to the magazine rack, and saw the famous Madoka on the cover of a playboy magazine. I snatched one, and went to pay. The cashier looked at me suspiciously. "Are you 18?"

I nodded. "I am. I know I look younger." I lied.

"Show me ID."

I didn't have one since I was only 16. I wanted the magazine so badly, but I just stood still.

The cashier sighs. "Look kid. I will let you buy this just this one time. I see you coming in here everyday looking at it. What made you want to buy it today?"

"This girl I like in class rejected me." I could feel my tears building up again.

"Hmm." He pushes the magazine towards me. "It's on the house. I understand your pain. Took me years to get my wife to like me back." He winks. "Feel better kid."