Mistakes We Can't Laugh About (Loser #2)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Bago pa ako makarating sa kanto ay nakasalubong ko na si Paolo. May bitbit siyang dalawang paper cups ng city blends coffee at nahalata ko sa mukha niya ang gulat nang makita ako.

"Bakit . . ." he trailed off, his eyes squinting. "May bibilhin ka?"

I took a few deep breaths to get my heartbeat back its normal pace. Inayos ko ang buhok ko na dumikit sa nagbubutil kong pawis sa noo bago pilit na tumawa.

"Naiinitan kasi ako. Magpapalamig muna sana ako," pagdadahilan ko.

He smiled. "Okay, samahan na kita."

Marahan akong tumango. Iniabot niya sa akin ang isang paper cup at nagpasalamat naman ako sa kanya. Sinabayan niya ako sa paglalakad at nang marating namin ang convenience store ay bumili na rin ako ng candies at naupo sa isa sa benches. Kung tutuusin, puwedeng magpasundo na ako kay Mill para umuwi. Kaya lang, nakakahiya naman kay Maricar kung aalis ako nang walang paalam. Isa pa, nasa club pa rin ang gamit ko.

"Sorry sa awkwardness, ha?" kuha ni Paolo sa atensyon ko.

He was sitting next to me, but our bodies were facing in different directions; I was looking out the window, while he was oriented toward the store. Hindi ko nakikita ang ekspresyon niya dahil magkatalikuran kami.

"Ayos lang. Hindi naman tayo personal na magkakilala." The warmth of the coffee slowly soothed my heart. "It's normal."

I heard him exhale. "It's my fault. Kaya . . . inaasar tayo."

Tumango ako bago sumimsim sa kape ko, bahagyang natatakot sa patutunguhan ng usapan.

The candies were all over the table, and the soft music in the store got me wondering if I could spend more time with him here. I didn't want to mislead him in any way. Baka kapag nagtagal kami rito ay isipin niyang gusto ko siyang masolo. Kaso, kapag naman bumalik kami agad sa club, haharapin ko naman si Leon.

"'Yong sinasabi nilang may gusto ako sa 'yo . . ."

Napapikit ako sa narinig. No, please. We just had our first encounter a few hours ago. Don't go there.

"I know," I said before he could utter another word. "I mean, come on! We don't know each other at all. There's no chance in hell that you will like me."

Natahimik siya sandali bago dahan-dahang pumihit paharap sa akin. I could feel him doing that, but I didn't turn around to look at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I sat there and watched as the vehicles went by, and as the night progressed, I became more and more convinced that I shouldn't even begin to entertain the idea of becoming involved with other people just yet because I was sure that I was still emotionally invested in someone.

Ano bang iniisip ko at pumasok sa utak kong mag-entertain ng iba? Am I that desperate to get rid of my feelings for Leon?

"Wala naman . . ." nasabi ko na lang.

"Bakit?" mahinang tanong niya. "Bawal ka bang magustuhan?"

I breathed deeply. I don't like having serious conversations while I'm under the influence of alcohol. Baka kasi may masabi akong hindi maganda. Hindi pa nakatulong na ginulo na naman ni Leon ang utak ko.

His expression bothered me. I hate how jealous he looked when he asked me if I would entertain Paolo. It was as though he was convincing me not to. Alam kong imposible namang magselos siya dahil harap-harapan niya nang sinabing hindi niya ako gusto. Hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan kung bakit ganoon ang nababasa ko sa mga kilos niya.