A image can cover so much pain (oasis/Liam Gallagher)

A high and a low

Liam walked into the first random pub he found walking to the bar he ordered a pint, double vodka, double whiskey and a bottle of wine, asked for a tray and found a table near the back. He drank the vodka and whiskey as soon as he sat down and within half an hour he'd finished the wine and 3 pints. He kept drinking and before long he had people around him, talking football, having a laugh, eyeing up the girls, taking bets on who could get the most phone numbers and kisses though they started Liam on minus three since he had fame and money on his side. Liam walked up to a girl at the bar "hey love, buy you a drink?" She looked up and smiled "gin and tonic please" she laughed Liam shouted the barman over "give me gin and tonic" the barman just looked obviously unimpressed but got the drink anyway "so sweetheart I gotta say your dress really shows you're figure, quite impressive" he eyed her up and down. "But I bet you look better out of it" she smiled "you don't waste time do you?" "I don't see the point may as well cut to the chase" within ten minutes he was giving the thumbs up to his friends and following the girl to the toilet's. When he got back to the table they all got out the beer mats they were using as score cards and compared numbers, Liam was in the lead by two, fame had its perks. They were beginning to get pretty loud and drawing looks but non of them cared they were having fun. Liam slipped off to have a few lines and on the way back noticed another girl he fancied having a try at, 20 minutes later he was on his way to the toilets again. He went back to the bar got another round, nipped off for a couple of lines. When he came back through a guy was standing at his table arguing with the guys, Liam walked over "what the fucks up with you, piss off" the guy rounded on Liam "there you are you little prick" Liam laughed "fuck off" "you touch my girl again and you'll be sorry" "your bird, well obviously you can't keep her happy if she's shagging me in pub piss holes" Liam looked at his mates and smiled "what did you say" "what ya fucking deaf, I'm saying you obviously can't satisfy her or she wouldn't be shagging me in a fucking toilet, she probably just lies back and thinks of ya best friend" again more laughing "do you want me to punch you cos if not I'd shut up" "look you cunt stop trying to make up for having a tiny dick and no game by sounding hard your fucking embarrassing" the guy took a swing at Liam but missed "haha typical southerner" he tried again this time making contact with the side of Liam's head, Liam swung back hitting him straight in the face and knocking him into a table. The guy's friends came over, Liam's friends stood up, a massive fight broke out, others joined in and the pub got damaged Liam and his friends ran out the back laughing. They decided to head to a club obviously all getting in free because of Liam. He opened a tab and they headed to the toilet for a coke top up. A member of staff found them after to say there was a table in the vip area and a bottle of champagne waiting for them. Leaning over the balcony they watched the girls on the dance floor it was a fun sight especially watching the really drunk ones. A few times they wondered down to the dance floor just for a laugh and Liam fell over at least three times. The end of the night came Liam payed the bar bill and they headed out all barely able to walk but it had been a great night, Liam got home and fell asleep on the floor. He woke up the next afternoon feeling like shit, crawled to the kitchen for a glass of water and made his way to the settee. Sitting there he just put his head in his hands Noel will kill him if any pictures or stories from last night appear in the papers, suddenly he started to panic should he tell Noel just in case or just keep his mouth shut and hope nothing gets printed he didn't see any press people when he was out but he wasn't really looking and was far too drunk to even have seen them anyway but still the people he met, the girls he fucked, the guys he had the fight with, any of them could sell their story god why did he get into shit like this. He just sat looking at the wall, took a drink of water and threw the glass off the wall. After a while he got up and changed into his tracksuit pants and tshirt and threw his clothes from last night in a pile on the floor. Going into the living room he began to pick the glass up and sliced his finger "shit" running it under the tap he watched the blood swerlling in the sink and began to get ideas turning the tap off he dried his hands and put a plaster on. He decided to check his answering machine sure enough he had messages he knew one would be from Noel, he pressed play "Liam it's Dave what the fuck you playing at? Dr Emilie said you walked out I thought things were going well but obviously not since you decided to be a dick. If you're not going to stick with it then it's not gonna help, get ya head on straight I'll check in later" he'd been expecting Dave to have a go at him but he couldn't be arsed with it right now. "Liam Dave's gonna pick you up for the tv things I've gave him the songs so make sure you have a look so you at least know what your fucking singing the interview is a quick fifteen minutes thing if you can't be arsed I'll do it but tell me instead of just fucking off, don't turn up drunk and be on fucking time" shit he'd forgot about the tv thing tomorrow. Sitting there he just stared at the wall trying not to think, he felt so sad it was like the fun of last night hadn't happened instead it was a nightmare all he could think of was the trouble it could cause, the shit he could be in with Noel why the fuck he should be so concerned about what Noel thought he didn't know but he was. He began to pace around the flat, he couldn't settle his brain wouldn't allow him all he could think about was things that were going wrong, it's was like the good memories, the positive things had all just disappeared, he'd forgotten them. After about an hour he decided to sit down, maybe watching some tv would help. He began to flick through the channels everything on was a pile of shit, what the fuck do we pay are tv license for he thought, he walked to his videos sadly he never kept them in any sort of order. He couldn't find anything he fancied so got a beer and went to lie down. Rolling over he opened his bedside table pulled out his joint tin luckily there was a couple in, he couldn't be bothered to roll further in he found his coke and some razor blades, he sat up and lit the joint hopefully it would calm him down and stop him from doing something stupid. In the end the bad things wouldn't leave his head the anger, depression, the hate kept running through his head he knew why he hated the time off he felt abandoned Noel only ever rang if they had a one off thing and the point of the call was usually behave yourself, be on time, don't fuck anything up etc even though most of the time Liam was always spot on with his vocals only odd times he'd mess up words or lines unless he was winding Noel up. But aside from those calls he never called to chat or pop over for a drink, the rest of the guys he didn't really see often either maybe once or twice him and bonehead would go for a drink and he would call once or twice if they didn't see each other. So really he was just left to it, the only person who actually seemed to care was Dave but at the end of the day he had a family to take care of but he still tried to take care of Liam anyway even though Liam didn't make that easy, he was a twat to him sometimes, didn't say thank you much, he did stupid things. Dave did all the work in getting dr Emilie then Liam walked out on her, he filled in forms and picked up prescriptions then Liam forgot to take them. He made a mental note to say thank you & let him know that he was appreciated. Unfortunately thinking about it just piled more on top of all the other shit. He sat up the anger began to increase something snapped he got up and began to smash up the bedroom by the end off his tantrum there was 6 or 7 holes in the wall, the wardrobe was in bits, he'd punched his new mirror, the only things not damaged were the bedside table and his bed. The anger started to turn into depression he looked down at his hands they were a mess it was obvious he'd punched things but hey people expect things like that from him. He looked around the razor blades and coke were sitting on his bedside table he made up a couple of lines hoping they'd help he snorted them and sat back on the bed but the urge didn't go so he gave in. A while later he found himself sitting on his bed with blood all around him feeling like he wasn't even there, like he was disconnected from his body, he wanted to sleep, he closed his eyes. Suddenly the phone rang it shocked him awake but he still felt confused he couldn't remember where the phone was, it kept ringing. He walked to the living room and picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Hey Liam it's Dave just checking in, you doing ok?" "Aye I'm fine, just watching tv nowt special" "but your feeling ok? You taking your pills? "Aye I'm feeling good and I'm taking my pills put a little note on the fridge so I see it every morning" he lied "ah good glad things going well maybe when I'm back we can talk about maybe getting you back to dr Emilie" "don't think I wanna do that I'm doing good" "ok well we'll leave it for now don't worry about it" Liam knew Dave wouldn't let it go that easy and would bring it up again "anyway Liam I'll let you get back to the tv plus I gotta take my mum shopping" "ok see ya when you get back say hi to your parents for me" "will do see ya Liam" Liam put the phone down he felt bad for lying to Dave but he knew if he told the truth Dave would probably come home and drag him to see dr Emilie. He walked back to the bedroom and lay back down on the bed, the sheets were still wet with blood but he didn't care. The phone rang again, it couldn't be Dave again he was busy "hi Liam it's Kyle sorry I hadn't called my dad wouldn't let me" "oh hi, it's fine he's obviously a dick. Anyway how are you?" "Ok just glad to be away from him for a bit, how are you?" Liam thought for a few seconds then decided to lie "I'm ok just getting on with things you know" "did you enjoy tour?" Liam got a shock he hadn't told Kyle about oasis Kyle spoke again "I know who you are I didn't say anything as it was nice you didn't use it to show off" Liam laughed "I liked the fact I had a friend who liked me without the whole oasis thing getting in the way" "it's fine Liam we'll keep it like that just know you can mention it if you want to" they had a chat for a couple of hours and decided to meet up next week. The call from Kyle cheered Liam up at least the worry was gone on that issue. He hadn't told Kyle he had walked out on dr Emilie, he didn't want it to affect kyle's therapy, the therapy might work for him. Liam went back to the bedroom and pulled the sheets off his bed the blood had soaked into the quilt so he was gonna have to buy a new one, he checked his mattress that was stained too but at least he could turn that over, he dumped the sheets into the washer and put it on. He flopped down in the chair with a beer and stared at the wall he wondered if he should call Noel, see how he was doing, ask if fancied watching the city match at the weekend maybe invite Paul too, maybe it be good for the three of them to spend time together as brothers. He dragged the phone over and dialled Noel's number Meg answered "hello?" "Oh hi Meg it's Liam is Noel there?" "Yes why? Do you want to speak to him?" "Em.. yes please" "fine I'll get him" Meg sounded moody but then again she usually did especially with Liam, she didn't really like him she tried to hide it but it was still pretty obvious "what the fuck you want?" Was Noel's greeting "just thought I'd check in see if you fancied watching the city match at the weekend, have a few beers maybe invite Paul" "what's the fucking matter with you? Being all nice and shit do you want something? Have you done something?" That hurt Liam "why do I have to have done something or want something? Can't I just ask my brother if he wants to watch football?" "It's just not like you normally you don't give a shit about what I want to do" "well I just fancied asking but if you can't be fucking arsed forget it" Noel laughed "well I'll have to check my diary I have other things to do you know" Liam got pissed off Noel was being dismissive again "well fuck you then you complain I don't care about anyone else, that I don't try to do stuff with you then when I ask you can't be bothered it's fucking stupid you say I only care about myself well you're the same you don't care you think you're better than every fucker else it's always do what chief Noel wants, listen to chief Noel you just boss me around, put me down, tell me I'm a fucking cunt and tell me to think about other people then when I do when I ask if you want to spend time with me do something nice you just fucking brush me off tell me you have more important things to do I'm your fucking brother" "aw poor little Liam always crying about people picking on him, getting pissed off when it's not all about him, throwing ya little tantrum's when you don't get what you want. Pathetic" Liam slammed the phone down he was really angry but also really hurt he'd tried to do something nice and Noel threw it back in his face. He'd been cheered up by kyles call but Noel had just destroyed that and made him feel even worse than he did earlier. He unplugged the phone he didn't want to talk to anyone. He lit a cigarette and sat back in the chair and closed his eyes, put his cigarette out on his arm and enjoyed the pain that 30 seconds of his mind concentrating on that, he did some coke and got another beer he must have dozed off because he dropped his beer which shocked him into opening his eyes sadly he'd spilt it all over himself and the floor but he didn't have the energy to get changed, he looked up at the clock it was 1am he suddenly decided he felt like going for a walk he changed into tracksuit bottoms, a jumper and got a coat out, zipped it tight and put his collar up, grabbed his wallet, cigarettes and keys and walked out of the door. It was raining, he didn't mind the rain and cold matched his mood. He kept walking not really sure where he was going, he just wanted to go somewhere, the rain was getting heavier it was soaking through his jacket. Eventually he came to a park type place, full of trees, plants and flowers it seemed random just this little forest type thing just outside a housing estate but it looked pretty neglected, like people didn't really use it walking through he found a bench pretty hidden under trees looking out at a little pond, he sat down and instantly felt the water soak into his pants, not much he could do he'd sat down now he lit a cigarette sheltering it from the rain with his hand it was nearly four but he didn't care he wanted to sit for a while, wanted to be alone, wanted to be in this place he didn't know, a place with no memories attached, wanted to look at the pond even though it was a mess and definitely wouldn't have fish in or birds feeding from it as they'd probably get poisoned if they tried. He sat there just watching occasionally a swan came along and tried the water but realised it was too far gone too be any use. He didn't know how long he sat there but it was light now, he looked down at his watch it was 7am he got up and began to walk again, he walked through the trees staying off the paths eventually he came to a field with a little brick building stuck randomly in the middle it looked pretty run down Liam wondered if it was old public toilets. He walked up and looked through the window, it was a old cafe it had obviously been closed for a while but all the stuff was still in it he tried the door it was locked but not well and a few kicks opened it. He tried the light switch but nothing happened, the electricity was off, he expected that he sat at one of the tables and lit a cigarette. He looked around noticed some napkins still in there holder, he pulled some out and wiped down the table, put his cigarette box on it and cut out some lines on it hoping it might jolt him back to reality, make him walk home or something he sat there waiting for it to work but it didn't, he lit a joint and looked around again it looked like it used to be a nice place, it probably would have been popular so why was it in such a random place, did there used to be more things around he began to imagine the place busy with tables outside, the field with a playground for the kids, some goal posts for football, benches for parents to watch or for people to just hang out with their friends it was a shame it was the way it was it could be really nice. Then he began to laugh here he was sitting in a run down building taking drugs the type of thing he did as a teenager here he was a rich famous rockstar sitting doing what he did when he was a poor broke teenager with no job. He decided he was quite comfortable sitting here in the cafe so decided to stay no one would bother him here, he could be alone. He wondered round to see what else was there. The kitchen was pretty standard there was four other rooms were a storeroom, a office and a room set up for someone to sleep which meant Liam could stay there easy the only issue was food, he could always check the dates on the stuff there but he wasn't hopeful. Anyway he was sure he could think of something.