A image can cover so much pain (oasis/Liam Gallagher)

Home to Mum

Liam woke up and went to make coffee, he sat at the table and looked at his calendar he didn't have anything on for the next week. He was still feeling awful so he decided it might be a good idea to go home to Manchester and stay with his mam for a bit, underneath everything he was a mammy's boy after all and if anyone could knock some sense into him it was her. He began putting a few clothes, cigarettes and stuff in a bag, he didn't need much he still had stuff in his old bedroom but liked to show off some of his new stuff whenever he went home. He got a beer and had a few lines before throwing on some tracksuit bottoms, T-shirt and jacket, he grabbed some sunglasses and a hat hoping to go as unnoticed as possible, put his drugs in his bag and grabbed his keys. Just as he was about to walk out of the door he realised he should at least leave a note in case anyone came looking for him he found a scrap of paper scribbled 'gone to Mam's' and left it by the phone.
He got to kings cross and went straight to the ticket office, it was quiet for a change.
"First class anytime single to Manchester please"
The guy at the window looked up at him and without saying anything printed off the ticket, Liam paid, said thank you and left, a lot of people were like that with him now, if they realised who he was they never said the price of things they just assumed he could afford it, though if he was honest the way he was feeling right now he'd have paid anything to get home. He checked the bored and the next train was in half an hour so he headed to the first class waiting room, he showed the guy on the door his ticket but the guy looked at him like he had stolen it, Liam was just about to say something when he eventually stood to one side and let him in, as usual all the posh people stared at him like he didn't belong there, maybe he didn't but he'd paid the same as them so he had the right to be there. Thankfully the time went fast and he was soon settled in a seat, with a beer and the train pulling out. By the time they reached Manchester Liam was pretty tipsy, he'd stashed some of the free vodka for later and had got the phone numbers of two of the waitresses. He went through to the taxi rank and jumped in the first one he saw
"Burnage please"
"Where abouts there mate?"
Liam reeled off his mum's address as the taxi pulled out.
"Right o. The Gallagher brothers used to live on that street you know"
The taxi driver looked up into his mirror right after he said it, Liam took his hat and sunglasses off and smiled
"I know"
"Oh god Liam mate I'm sorry couldn't tell it was you, feel a bit stupid now"
"Don't worry means my pathetic attempt at a disguise worked" he laughed "mind if I smoke, I'll roll the window down"
"Go ahead mate, the traffics light so shouldn't take to long to get there"
The rest of the journey was spent taking about football and how well city might do this season, when they pulled up at his mum's he gave the driver a extra tenner and signed his notebook.
Liam walked to the door and let himself in
"Mam, you in? Mam, it's Liam."
He didn't get a answer so dropped his bag on the floor and looked around, she must be out. He put the kettle on to make a cup of tea and found today's Manchester evening news on the table. He must have fell asleep on the settee as the next thing he knew he was getting shouted at
"Liam, wake up. What are you doing here? Liam I said wake up!"
He slowly opened his eyes
"Hi Mam, thought I'd visit"
"You couldn't bother to call first? What if I was busy? I'm not but that's not the point. I could have got extra shopping in. I don't mind you coming home but it's still common decency to call, I'm sure I taught you that"
Liam looked up at her, she looked at him, he looked sad, like the little child who used to cling on to her hand when he was scared.
"I just wanted, needed to come home, to see you"
She sat down next to him and put her arm around him
"Oh Liam your welcome here whenever you want. My little Liam, I miss you even if you are a daft bastard sometimes"
They sat on the settee like that for the next two hours, when Peggy looked at him all she could see was her youngest son looking like he did as a little scared child, like he did when he cuddled her after his dad had hurt her. The confident, fun loving, carefree, happy person he became had gone. This wasn't Liam, she knew something was wrong, she knew Liam better than he knew himself, she was his mother after all.
"Liam what's wrong? Have you had a big fight with Noel? And don't say nothing's wrong cos I know there is"
"I don't want to talk about it, I just want to be here, I just want to hang out with you. Do you not want me here?"
Of course I want you here. I didn't want you to move to London. I'm just worried about you, I know you're life's not normal, it's hard, you have different problems to others. I worry about you every day, so I get extra worried when you're obviously upset"
"Let's just be normal for a few day's that's all I want. We do that and I'll be fine, we could invite Paul and his family over for tea tomorrow"
"Ok Liam if that's what you want. I'll watch my program then I'll phone him"
Peggy was determined to find out what was wrong, maybe Paul could get it out of him, but she was going to leave it for tonight, she was just going to have a nice night with her son. She missed Liam and Noel so much, she was more used to Noel being away but he always came home, Liam had always been around, he stayed at home even when oasis started, he only moved to London when he had to. She pushed all the worry to one side to concentrate on having a nice night, though she better be careful about mentioning Noel in case they had had a fight.
After watching her program she went to phone Paul and left Liam watching the tv
"Hello"
"Hi, it's mam, Liam's up and was wondering if you and the family wanted to come over for tea tomorrow?"
"Didn't know he was coming up, any special reason he is? Aye we'll come over, it's been a while since I saw him and the kids would love to see him, you know they love uncle Liam"
"Great see you about five?"
"Sounds good I'll see you then"
"See you then"
She walked back through to the living room, Liam was sitting flicking through the channels
"Paul's coming over at five tomorrow, I thought maybe you could help me with the shopping tomorrow morning?"
"Cool. Aye I'll be happy to help as long as I don't have to get up at some stupid time like seven. Do you want a cup of tea? I was just gonna make one"
Peggy laughed, she knew he wouldn't get up early
"Don't worry I'm thinking of going around eleven. You making a cup of tea! What happened to my lazy little boy. But yes I'll have one"
Peggy made a good working class tea off sausage, fried egg, chips and beans, which Liam enjoyed, there was nothing like his Mam's cooking and he was sick of the posh, fancy crap that was usually served in the upmarket restaurants he was often taken to or expected to go to. They spent a few hours watching tv, drinking tea and eating biscuits before Liam noticed it was getting late.
"I'm gonna go to bed now mam, I'm tired, haven't been sleeping well"
"Ok son, your beds made, if you need pjs there's still stuff in your drawers. Just get a bottle of water out the fridge if you want one. I won't be far behind you, I'm just going to lock up"
"Night mam"
"Night Liam"
Liam picked up his bag and went to his room, it was pretty much the same as it was the day he left for London his Man City poster on the wall, piles of magazines, a old adidas coat hanging on the door, a cheap stereo with some of both his and Noel's music collection beside of it. Some of the room still had things from when Noel lived there like posters Liam hadn't taken down, a old guitar pedal and some books. It was like stepping back in time. Liam got into bed, he was comfortable enough in a T-shirt and boxers, it wasn't cold but he still pulled the quilt right up, he wanted to feel safe. He couldn't sleep he just stared at the ceiling with so much going round his head, he hated himself, the way he'd spoke to Kelly, he felt so empty like nothing was there, like he had no emotions yet he still felt sad and lost. He began to think about how lonely he was, like how many real friends did he actually have. He never knew who was his friend because he was Liam Gallagher from oasis and who was friends with just Liam, the loudmouth working class guy from Manchester. He could never tell and that scared him, if it all came crashing down tomorrow who would still be there, would anyone still be there. Would he end up back here in his old room living with his mam or in a big house all on his own. Well if he got a big enough house I could see if Paul and his family wanted to move in he thought. God he could do with a drink not the vodka that was in his bag though, he fancied a nice cold pint, he thought about the coke he had but for some reason it felt wrong to snort lines while his mam was asleep in the room next door and really it wouldn't help him sleep.
Peggy couldn't settle, she knew something was wrong with Liam, something was off but she couldn't work out what it was, she couldn't work out what was going on with him. She had brought all three of them up herself, fought to give them a decent life, loved them unconditionally, all she wanted was her boys to be happy, life hadn't been perfect but they got through it, so to see one of them sad, unhappy and scared, hurt her so much, she felt it like a knife to the heart and not being able to help tore her apart. Even though they were brought up in the same house they were all different, the age gap between Liam and the other two also added to the differences. Noel the independent, quiet, thinker. Paul the hard worker who took over as the head of the family when Tommy left. Liam the baby of the family, hyperactive, cheeky, outgoing, confident one. She was happy they all had their own personalities. All she could do was think how it was confusing and worrying that Liam seemed to be acting so different, not like himself but what could she do if he wouldn't talk to her or ask for help.
Liam woke up to hear his mam shouting up
"Liam, wake up, coffee and toast on the table"
He slowly sat up and his eyes began to focus
"Liam! Breakfast! Now!"
He laughed to himself, no one else would shout at him like that, he missed it. He walked down stairs and through to the kitchen
"Morning. Is there any butter?"
"There's marg make do with that and put some pants on I'm trying to eat my breakfast"
He laughed at her and smiled. Today's plan was simple, go shopping and have the big brother and family over for tea, it was as normal as could be.
"I'm gonna have a shower before we go out that ok? I'll be quick"
"Fine, I'll just be getting myself ready and do the shopping list while you're in"
Liam got some clean clothes ready, grabbed a towel and got in. He could hear his mum pottering about it was a comforting sound. Singing to himself he got out the shower and got the shock of his life when he saw his mum getting herself washed and cleaning her teeth.
"Mam! I'm just getting out the shower, where's my towel? Have you used it?"
"It's over there, I moved it. Liam I gave birth to you, I changed your nappy's and wiped your bum, I've seen it all before a million times so stop being a idiot and get yourself dry, unless you want me to do it"
She laughed. Liam grabbed the towel and put it round his waste.
"Aye but mam I was a kid then, I'm an adult now"
"I'm not stupid Liam I know where it's been, how many girls have seen you naked so don't get shy around me. And what on earth have you been doing? You've got burns and cuts on your arms. Fighting I'm guessing"
With that she walked off down stairs. Fighting the good excuse that people assumed anyway, if he actually got into as many drunk fights as people assumed he did he should be dead or in jail by right's. After getting himself sorted he called a taxi to take them to the shop his mam had wanted to get the bus but like hell was he getting on a bus. The taxi dropped them off and Liam got the trolley, while Peggy got the shopping list out. They hadn't even got to the door and already he could hear people saying 'that's Liam Gallagher' 'look the singer from oasis' a few people shouted hello and some shouted things like dickhead but they ignored it and carried on with the shopping. People kept coming over for autographs, some who had their cameras asked for photos and others just wanted to talk to him, as long as they were nice and didn't hold him up too long he didn't mind, a lot of them spoke to Peggy too. He ended up with six phone numbers and two invites too girls houses, one who hadn't noticed his mum was there invited him to the shop toilets for a bit of fun.
"I keep forgetting it's like this every time you go anywhere, you must get sick sometimes. Though most people are nice which isn't too bad but the cheek of that girl asking you to the toilets I hope you never take offers like that up."
He felt sorry for his mam all she had wanted was to do some shopping. They got in the queue at a till then suddenly Liam heard shouting
"Oh look it's mr I'm the fucking best Gallagher. He thinks he's a hard man this one but he wouldn't have the guts to try anything without his security behind him to look after his ass"
A bunch of blokes were standing watching and laughing.
"I'm shopping with my mother so fuck off and leave us alone or do you not have anything better to do"
"I feel sorry for your mother having a pathetic idiot like you for a son, she must be so embarrassed, probably wishes she drowned you at birth"
"Don't you fucking talk about my mother say anything about her again and I'll knock you the fuck out you stupid cunt"
By this point store security had came over getting ready in case it kicked off. A member of staff came over to Peggy
"Hello mrs Gallagher why don't you and Liam come up here and I'll open a till for you"
Staff were hoping this would calm the situation down. It didn't
"There we go getting special treatment. What is this world coming too when a drunk, druggy, shit singer can get anything he wants, have people doing everything for him when us hard working normal family folks get fuck all"
Before Liam could say anything Peggy spoke
"I'll have you know he worked his backside off to get where he is, he did shitty jobs, he used his time off to sit in a freezing van to play gigs, he didn't have everything handed to him. Now please leave us alone all we wanted was to do our shopping you were the ones who decided to have a go at us. We're going to pay for our shopping and go home let us just do that"
The blokes looked at Peggy, their expressions had changed, like they saw her differently.
"Sorry Mrs Gallagher we didn't mean to upset you, it's your son we have a problem with not you"
Peggy and Liam walked up to the till opened for them and put the shopping through. Liam wouldn't let her pay so after a bit of back and forth she gave up and he payed.
Back home they began to put the shopping away Peggy didn't say a word, it was just silence. Liam was worried, he didn't understand why she wasn't talking to him but he was scared to say anything so just got on with what he was doing. She then walked into the living room and put the tv on and just sat there watching it. Liam approached quietly
"Do you want a cup of tea?"
He quietly asked, he knew there was sadness and fear in his voice
"No"
She didn't even look at him. He sat down in the chair with his head down and started fiddling with his watch, he was nervous and confused, he didn't understand what was going on
"Mam what's wrong? Have I done something?"
"Liam all I wanted was to do my shopping not get shouted at and insulted, do you know what it's like hearing people say those things about you, to stand in a shop with everyone looking at you because someone is having a go at your son who then can't keep his mouth shut and has a go back. Everyone has an opinion on you even though they don't know you, they expect you to act a certain way and then you just go and prove them right. Liam I just can't be bothered with this right now I'm going to watch my programs you can sit there if you want or you can do something else it's up to you but I just need some peace"
Liam felt like he was going to cry, his mum kept him together, just knowing she was there, that he could come home and things would be ok. He decided to go up to his room. He sat on his bed thinking, his life was falling apart in every way now his mam was upset with him where was he going to go when he needed to fell safe, he was an idiot, a disappointment to her, he hated how he made her feel. He got the coke out of his bag.
Peggy sat on the settee, she really shouldn't have had a go at Liam like that it wasn't really his fault when people were idiots and had a go at him when he hadn't done anything, they just wanted to be able to say they had had a fight with him. At the same time Liam didn't help himself by reacting and how he was portrayed in the press didn't help especially when he played up to it. She was also frustrated that he wouldn't tell her what was wrong, it was obvious something was wrong and that he'd come home to make him feel better but she couldn't help unless he told her what was wrong. She hoped Paul could get something out of him. She went through to the kitchen to start sorting out tea.
Liam could smell cooking, he looked at the clock, Paul was due in an hour. He must have fell asleep. He tidied away the drugs and smartened himself up a bit, then went down stairs to see if his mum needed help. She shooed him out of the kitchen saying he'd just get under her feet.
Soon Liam heard the door open, Paul walked in smiling
"Hi little bro, how's it going? Missed you been ages"
"I'm cool, just up to the usual. Thought it was time for a trip home"
Paul sat down then all of a sudden the kids came in
"Uncle Liam, uncle Liam!"
Four kids jumped on him and all began talking at the same time, obviously excited to see him.
"Come on kids calm down uncle Liam can't understand you when you talk at the same time. Go say hello to grandma"
Paul's wife Sandy came in with a bottle of wine
"Hi Liam how are you?"
"Cool you?"
"Ok, tired though, been doing loads of marking. Can't wait for the holidays"
Sandy was a teacher, she worked so hard, her school was in a poor area with little funding and not much for kids to do outside school. Seeing the work she had to do had made Liam realise what his teachers had, had to go through and he felt a bit guilty about what he'd put his teachers through. Paul went through to the kitchen and the kids came back, taking turns to tell him about school, new toy's, trip's out, and random other things. Being around them always cheered Liam up, seeing them happy, hearing about exciting things they'd done, he was glad they had a good normal family life, Paul and Sandy were good parents. He smiled a true happy smile.
Paul came into the kitchen and shut the door. He noticed Peggy looked worried.
"Hey mam you said you wanted to talk to me. Are you ok?"
"I need you to talk to Liam, somethings going on with him, somethings wrong. He won't tell me"
"Come on mam you know what Liam's like he can be a bit strange sometimes"
"No Paul this is different when he turned up the way he spoke he seemed so sad, so scared I can't really explain it but somethings not right. Please Paul just talk to him"
Paul could tell his mum was really worried, like more than usual.
"Ok mam I'll talk to him. I can't guarantee he'll tell me anything you know what Liam's like but I promise I'll try"
Tea was ready so they all sat down to eat, Paul and Sandy talked about their job's, plans for the holidays and how the kids were doing at school, Sandy asked Liam about how things were going with oasis and how Noel was doing. They finished the wine Sandy had brought so Liam went and got the one he picked up.
"That probably cost six times the one I brought, let's see if it was worth it or if it just tastes the same as the cheap one"
Everyone laughed
"Probably does, most of them do. Sometimes the cheaper ones taste better. I don't know why I keep buying the expensive ones but like an idiot I do"
They sat in silence slowly drinking a glass
"Well for once it does taste better, good choice there Liam"
Sandy smiled at him. She had picked up on the fact something was up with Liam, he was trying to hide it, trying to be his usual self but she could see the sadness in his eyes, see how tired he was. Peggy had probably asked Paul to talk to him but she knew Liam wouldn't tell Paul anything they weren't the sort of brothers who would talk about feelings, unless it was about fancying a girl, if someone had pissed them off or if a girl was good in bed. The only time they did talk about anything like that was if it concerned Peggy because they were so protective of her. She decided it would be better if she spoke to him. Sandy had known Liam for years, she saw him as a little brother, he used to come to her with problems.
"Paul let's help your mam with the dishes and clearing up, the kids can enjoy playing with Liam"
"Alright. She did cook so the least we can do is wash the dishes"
They went in the kitchen and Sandy shut the door.
"I can tell something is up with Liam and honestly I think I should talk to him, I've got the best chance of getting him to tell me what's going on, I know you were going to but You're his big brother who he never really talks to about his problems and he won't want to upset you Peggy. So it's probably best if I try"
Both Paul and Peggy agreed so now Sandy had to find a way to get him alone preferably somewhere they could talk without interruption's and where no one would over hear them.
Liam was sat on the floor playing with the kids, his mam was sat talking to Sandy and Paul, there was a big tub of biscuits, chocolate and sweets on the table and the tv was on in the background. This is perfect Liam thought. Nice normal family time, a typical night for normal people. For the first time in ages he felt truly happy.