A image can cover so much pain (oasis/Liam Gallagher)

Wake up, this is me

Liam could hear noises, he wasn't sure if he wn
as dreaming or not, he'd heard what he thought was his door opening but hadn't opened his eyes and no one had said anything so he just put it down to his imagination, but now he could hear sounds from the kitchen and footsteps. He heard the tap running and the kettle click on. As he listened to it boil he thought it can't be anyone trying to nick stuff cos they wouldn't exactly put the kettle on, it definitely wouldn't be Noel. Maybe he was just dreaming, thinking he was dreaming in his actual dream. He couldn't be bothered with whatever it was anyway he was happy staying here on the settee where he'd fell asleep and now didn't want to move for anything. So he kept his eyes closed hoping the noise and the source of it would go away. The footsteps approached him.
"Liam, wake up. I've made coffee"
Liam heard the cup being put down but didn't open his eyes.
"Liam, come on wake up you can't be comfortable like that you'll hurt your neck"
He was fine, he didn't want to wake up or move.
"Liam wake up, come on please"
"Fuck off" was all he could manage
He heard the footsteps walk away. The smell of the coffee was bringing him round a bit so he opened his eyes, it took a while for things to come into focus when they did he saw the mess and wished they hadn't. He picked up the coffee and as he began to drink it he realised it was Kelly that had been trying to wake him and he'd told her to fuck off shit he thought, he looked around for her but she wasn't in the room, her coat was still there and he hadn't heard he leave so she had to be somewhere.
"Kelly, I'm sorry I didn't mean to be a dick. I was half asleep and wasn't thinking. Kelly where are you?"
Kelly came out of the kitchen and looked at him
"Being half asleep is not a excuse for telling me to fuck off, look at this place you've got empty cans and bottles everywhere, drugs just laid out on the table what if I had of brought my friends to see you? What would they think?"
Liam couldn't be bothered with another lecture
"To be honest I don't give a shit what they'd think this is my place if I want to leave it in a mess I will. If I want to have drugs on my table I will. I don't like being told what to do I get enough of that off Noel I don't need it from you, and I'd be pissed off if you brought people here without asking me, this is my private space"
He lit a cigarette, looked up and saw the hurt in Kelly's face. Had he gone too far.
"Well I guess I'm sorry for having a view on things, sorry I want you to meet my friends, sorry I actually give a shit"
She went in the kitchen and shut the door. Liam heard her start to cry. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to deal with things like this, girlfriend's crying usually he just left them to it and waited for them to come back to him but it normally didn't happen in his house. So he just sat there.
Kelly sat at the kitchen table and began to cry, she felt so stupid, she knew Liam's reputation, she knew the way he could be, but she'd seen the other side of him the caring side, the curl up and watch a film side. He was always like that with her, he was nice and kind. This was the first time she'd really experienced the other side. Although he hadn't insulted her directly the words had hurt. She knew she was being stupid, they could never have a normal relationship she knew that. She couldn't be around him right now, she couldn't face him, all she could do was sit and cry
Liam had a few emotions going round his head, he felt bad for what he'd said but he was also angry he was who he was she should know that, he hated being told what to do he got enough of that shit off Noel he didn't need it from her, she was lucky to even be with him. The idea she might randomly bring her friends around pissed him off he didn't want idiots he didn't know in his house no fucker gets through his door unless he says so. Having a actual girlfriend is a pain in the arse it's not like he needed one to get laid, plenty of girls would happily open their legs for him. But then he began to think of the other things chatting on the settee, cuddling up watching a movie, meals together, having someone to talk too, having someone who cares about him, just all the little things like her making him coffee in the morning. He knew he wasn't going to be able to tell her those feelings but would go to his default anger to protect himself. He wondered if she was going to come out of the kitchen, he wanted another beer.
Kelly dried her eyes, she knew she'd have to face him soon. She started to wonder if she'd done the right thing in accepting that very first invite to spend time with him, she didn't expect to fall in love with him, not like this. She thought she could deal with how he was, she thought she knew what she was getting into but here she was faced with it for the first time and she was crying, she was hurt and she knew it would happen again. Maybe Karen had been right when she'd said being with him was a mistake and she'd end up getting her heart broken. She began to pull herself together she was going to have to go out, he wasn't going to come in.
Liam looked up as Kelly opened the door. He didn't know if he should go and get a beer or talk to her first. She walked over and sat down.
"Look Liam I'm just trying to help, trying to have a normal relationship, yes I know about all this shit but I'd hoped you'd show me the respect and at least try to keep it separate you know. I'm not trying to control you, I'm trying to look after you because I care. Maybe I overstepped the line with saying I'd bring friends over without asking so I'm sorry but I would like to introduce you to them like normal people do"
To Liam that still sounded like control. He thought she understood normal was something that wasn't going to happen, it was never going to be normal.
"You said you understood it wouldn't be normal, you said you knew what I was like, that you new what you were getting into. Now your trying to change me, well I don't want to be changed, this is me, it's who I am. I can't be bothered with more fucking stress, more people having a go I get enough of that off Noel. I don't need looking after I'm not an idiot, I am actually a adult."
Kelly looked at him, hurt.
"Look maybe I should go and we'll talk later"
Liam suddenly felt guilty
"No no it's fine just give me a few minutes. I'm just stressed I had a fight with Noel and he said some things"
Liam put his head in his hands. He was so confused, had so much to deal with, so many people having a go at him. He didn't even know what he wanted any more. Kelly sat down beside him and put her arms around him, she couldn't leave him like this he looked so sad, he looked so lost. Kelly couldn't help but think Liam was in over his head with the whole fame thing, it had been so quick. One day he was a working class kid with nothing, next he was a working class kid with everything. They stayed there in silence for what seemed like ages.
Liam lifted his head and looked at Kelly
"I'm sorry, I can be a fucking idiot sometimes and it's strange having a relationship with someone who isn't with me because of my fame, money, who I am in terms of oasis. The last one it was just cos it looked cool. I kinda feel I'm not good enough for you cos of the way I am"
"I'm with you because I want to be. We spent time together and I fell in love with you, I know the other side of you, the side that's not in the press, but yes it upset me what you said, the way you acted I haven't seen you like that before so I reacted the way I did but I know I'll have to learn to deal with it but there has to be a line but we can talk about it later"
Liam was relieved, she wasn't leaving him but he knew he was going to have to sort some of his behaviour out. He hoped they could still have a nice afternoon.
"How about we watch a movie and try to have a nice afternoon?"
"Ok Liam but we will sort all this out soon, when you're in a better mood and stuff. But I get to choose the movie" she laughed
Liam thought that sounded fair and let her go to the video shelf's. She came back with one of the girls cult horror films called brain dead.
"Don't really need to think with this one. It's a so bad it's good type of film. We need something that we don't need to think"
"I'm cool with that"
She handed it to him, he went over, put it into the video player and grabbed the remote.
"Hey I think I might have a bag of popcorn in the kitchen, I'll have to check it's in date cos I don't know how long it's been there"
"Aye sounds good. I'll sort the telly out"
Liam went through to the kitchen and began looking around, eventually he found the popcorn, luckily it was in date so he put it in a bowl, grabbed a couple of beers and headed back to the living room. Kelly had the telly on and the video ready to play. He put the stuff on the table
"Shall I close the curtains so it's a bit darker? Might make it easier to see the tv and stuff"
"Good idea, but don't worry I'll do it, I need a wee anyway and you can get things all comfy"
Kelly wondered over to the bathroom. Liam started arranging cushions and got the blanket in case they got cold. Kelly pulled the curtains shut, it was actually quite dark even though it wasn't that late his mam had been right the darker the curtains the more light they kept out, he wasn't sure why he'd never noticed it before maybe it was because he was useless at paying attention to shit like that unless he had too, he really wasn't one for worrying about curtains etc his mam had helped him shop for the flat, he always laughed at how she had said he could only put his Man City poster in the living room if he got it framed, so he got it framed the next day thing is he knew if anyone else had said that he'd have told them to fuck off. He wanted Kelly to meet her but after what he'd said about her friends it was probably best to leave it and not push his luck. Kelly got herself comfortable and cuddled into him.
"Ready when you are"
Liam pressed play, pulled the table closer with his foot so they could reach the popcorn and drinks. He looked at her, she looked so cute snuggled in eating her popcorn, he could have fucked all this up, she could have told him where to go, but thankfully she didn't although there was still a conversation to be had so still an opportunity for him to fuck it all up, the risk was still there and he didn't know exactly when that conversation was gonna be so he couldn't prepare, he couldn't think about what could go wrong and how he could stop it happening.
The film was just as bad as he remembered but that made it funny, Kelly was giggling so much.
"God Liam this is so bad it's funny, such a good thing to cheer you up."
"Aye takes ya mind off all the shit. Last time I watched it I was so drunk and high I fell off the bed laughing. The girl I was with was totally unimpressed she left before I got anywhere. I just ended up watching the rest of the film laughing with myself" he laughed
For a second Kelly was taken back with Liam mentioning the idea of a girl who was there just so he could have sex. She tried to put it out of her mind, she didn't know why she was shocked she knew he had been like that, well she hoped it was had been and not is like that. Suddenly she thought of something she hadn't really thought much about, would Liam still be doing that on tour, would he have one night stands and cheat on her, there was always going to be girls lined up willing to have sex with him, throwing themselves at him. She'd never worried about it too much before but hearing him mention it made her think. Though she did trust him she didn't trust them.
"Films can bring back memories, my first date with a ex was seeing desperately seeking Susan, he spent the whole time drooling over Madonna"
Kelly laughed.
"Guys eh, ain't we great"
They got back to watching the film in silence, Liam was thinking, he was kinda in the mood for sex but wasn't sure if it would be pushing it after the argument but also make up sex was always really good. He decided the best thing would be to test the waters and see how far she let him go.
He kissed her and pulled her up on his knee with his arms round her waist. She kept watching the film, he started kissing her neck, which she seemed to enjoy. He waited to see if she would turn around to face him, she didn't so he pulled her round, he kissed her and ran his hands up her back under her top. She stopped him.
"Come on Liam is this really the time"
"What's wrong with now? Just us here"
Kelly looked down at him, he was so attractive, his eyes so beautiful, so many people would love to be in this position.
"I just thought with the argument and stuff, but I guess who cares about all that"
"And make up sex is hot as fuck" Liam added
Liam laughed and kissed her neck, Kelly stopped him and looked at him
"That's not really the best way to put it, but I guess it's your way" she smiled
They began kissing, Liam began to take her top off, slowly undoing the buttons she was wearing a purple bra with lace and a bow in the middle, Liam always loved how sexy woman's underwear was tho it always looked better on the floor. eventually Liam picked her up and carried her through to the bedroom. Dropping her on the bed he took off his pants and joined her on the bed, any items of clothing they were still wearing soon ended up on the floor, it wasn't long before he was in between her legs. After they finished they lay there, Kelly resting her head on his chest.
"You were right make up sex is pretty hot"
They both laughed. After a while Kelly started to get up.
"I should get ready I've got work tonight, last minute shift change"
"Oh right ok when's your next day off?"
"Two day's time, I'll come over if you want?"
"Sounds good"
Kelly started to pick up her clothes, Liam watched her from the bed.
"Liam I can't find my knickers where did you put them?"
"I don't know I just took them off and dropped them, if you can remember where we were when I took them off then they should be there"
She pulled her skirt on and began to think, suddenly remembering they should be down the side of the bed. She lay across Liam and the bed and began looking, his clothes were there too so they could be in amongst them. Suddenly she felt his hand on her thigh he started moving it up, she knew she should stop him but she was sure he wouldn't go to for so that was fine. Seemed she was wrong as the next thing she knew his fingers were playing around in between her legs
"Liam stop it! I need to find my knickers, I've got to get to work"
"Quit your job, stay here, travel the world with me. It'll be fun"
He put his fingers inside her slowly moving in and out while his other hand played with her hair
"Liam" she shouted
She sat up with her knickers in her hand, pulling his hands away from her
"There they are! Look Liam I like my job I'm not leaving it, I'm independent I look after myself, I don't wanna depend on a guy. Going on tour with you would be fun I'm sure but we wouldn't get to see much of the places we were so a proper holiday be nicer, plus your only saying it to get me to stay today" she laughed
Liam laughed. She was right really. Though he felt a bit upset at the whole Independant thing. In a lot of way's her determination to still be herself with a normal job, paying her own way and trying to keep their relationship normal bothered him, in other way's it didn't he liked the small bits of normality.
"Liam I'm going to Karen's tonight, the girls are all going over for a movie night so I'll be staying over, it might be for a couple of days depending on what we decide to do, I'll call and let you know"
Liam looked up, he couldn't believe she was just telling him this now, just as she's about to walk out of the door, he was pissed off.
"Your just telling me that now! Nice to know you care about me knowing these things, guess you only wanna see me when it fits around your other plans, you just expect me to be there whenever is convenient for you, nice to know where I stand. And it's not like I don't have a life I'm busy too you know with tours, interviews, photo shoots, tv stuff, practice, recording and I've got friends to see, family to visit and my mam who's in Manchester so I don't get the chance to see her that much but still I tell her I can't visit sometimes so I can spend time with you and you can't be bothered to tell me you're seeing your friends till the very last minute when if you had told me earlier I could have visited my mam, seen some friends or done something with the band"
Liam couldn't believe it why did everyone have to treat him like an idiot, not tell him anything about their plans just expect him to turn up when and where he was told, and at all other times be in either the pub or at home, he was sick of it.
"What are you talking about. We both have lives which we had before we met why should we change that. Your on about me going to see my friends what about what I have to think about you go away on tour where there will be loads of girls who will happily open there legs for you how do I know you don't take them up on it. I'm not having you get pissed off about this, I can't see my friends if I want. You accused me of controlling you, well what do you think your doing now. Pull yourself together"
"Wake up, this is me deal with it"
He shouted as she picked up her coat and stormed out.
Liam got up and went to get a beer, he couldn't be arsed with this shit, he was who he was why should he change. It's like everyone thought he was stupid. Maybe this whole thing had been a mistake, maybe he'd got into it cos he wanted something normal, maybe it was because he was lonely which was made worse by the fact Noel had Meg. Liam just couldn't get his head around thing's and his defence was to argue and get angry. He set up some lines on the kitchen table, a bit more than usual he just wanted to stop the feelings. Maybe he could call Chris or Kyle or even both of them and they could go out, but he couldn't decide if he wanted to be social or not.
In the end he decided to stay in. He sat and drank and kept switching between angry and depressed then after a while he began to feel empty, he seemed to lost connection with himself like he was watching himself eventually he began to feel normal again. In his head he kept repeating the words this is me, I can't change. He was so tired, he fell asleep on the settee.