A image can cover so much pain (oasis/Liam Gallagher)

Playing shows, missing you & depression

The band arrived in Glasgow and were picked up by taxi and taken to their hotel, Dave helped Liam up to his room, Liam went straight to the mini bar to grab a beer and sat down "Dave can we use the phones?" "Yep they all attached to the payment account for the rooms" Liam looked down at the floor, he felt so sad, Dave noticed "you ok Liam?" "Just thinking don't worry about it" but Dave was worried he hadn't seen Liam look this sad for a while "you can talk to me" Liam looked at him "Nah it's ok, I'm just gonna have a drink, watch a movie and get an early night" "ok I'll come get you tomorrow" he smiled and left. Liam got another drink, set up some lines and picked up the phone, he dialled his home number. The phone rang but no one picked up, the answer machine clicked on, he hung up, he gave it five minutes then tried again, still no answer he began to panic, had she left as soon as he did, did she lie about wanting to be with him, did she suddenly realise he was a idiot and not worth the bother. He picked up the phone again, no answer. Liam downed the beer, got another and set up more lines. After a bit of thinking he realised that Kelly was probably at work, he'd forgot to ask her what shifts she was on, he laughed to himself and picked up the phone again this time when the answer machine kicked in he left a message "hey darling I forgot to ask what shifts you working so don't when's best to call anyway call me if I'm not about leave a message as to when I can call, miss you" he lay down on the bed it was getting late he really needed to get some sleep. Suddenly the phone woke him up, he reached for it "what the fuck" "oh I'm sorry did I wake you? I just got in and got your message I'm sorry I didn't think about the time" "oh Kelly I'm sorry I just didn't have a fucking clue what was happening I was half asleep and I've had a drink" "do you want to go back to sleep?" "No no it's fine let's chat" they talked for a few hours, then both decided to get some sleep. Suddenly Liam heard banging, he looked at the clock it was 6am, he put his pillow over his head, why the fuck are people banging at this time of the morning there was silence for a minute then again banging it went on like that for a while, he wasn't gonna be able to go back to sleep so decided to try work out where the banging was coming from so he could tell them to fuck off. As he walked towards the door he heard shouting "Liam you fucking cunt let me in I wanna talk to you" again banging "Liam wake the fuck up and open the door now" Liam just looked at the door, what the hell was Noel doing knocking on the door at this time of morning and what the fuck is so important that he needed to talk to him now "Liam if you don't open this door I'll kick it down" Liam opened the door, Noel stormed past him "Liam what the fuck you playing at?" Liam shut the door "Noel it's fucking six am what the hell do you want?" Liam sat down, Noel stayed standing "what's going on with this girl? Who exactly is she? What does she want? I overheard Dave referring to her as your girlfriend you really think she likes you and it's not just the money? We need to talk about this" Liam rolled his eyes he hated it when Noel butted in, tried to run his life, he just hated that he wouldn't just trust him. "I've told you her name, were you not listening or you forgot because you don't care, I told you where we met and what she did and do you think no one could like me and that the only reason someone would is the money, why can't someone like me just for me. I'm happy and it's got fuck all to do with you anyway it's my life" Noel sat down looking at Liam as if he were a naughty school boy, Liam was half expecting Noel to put him in detention. "I really don't think that you have thought this through, your just jumping in, your thinking with your dick not your head" "just fuck off it's my life, I'm going back to bed" Liam flopped down on the bed and turned his back to Noel who just walked out and slammed the door. Liam had thought about everything Noel said, he was worried but he was happy too yet no one else seemed happy for him, they were worried, they thought he didn't know what he was doing, that he was stupid, had bad judgment. No one seemed to have any faith in him. He must have dozed off cos next thing he knew there was another knock at the door and it was 10am "hey Liam it's Dave" Liam opened the door. Dave noticed Liam seemed a bit annoyed "what's up Liam?" "Noel burst in at 6am to have a go at me about Kelly he overheard you calling her my girlfriend" "oh I'm sorry I was talking to my missus I didn't know he could hear" Liam looked at him "well he could, I'm going in the shower" he slammed the bathroom door. Dave was a bit worried he wasn't sure how this would affect Liam's mood today, if Liam was angry with him, Noel or both of them. Liam came out of the bathroom grabbed a beer and pulled some clothes out of his case and began to get ready "so what am I doing today?" "You've got a tv interview, a radio interview and the show, then tomorrow you've got a live tv appearance then it's off to Ireland morning after" Liam laughed "I only asked about today I'll forget the other stuff so you'll have to remind me again tomorrow" Liam downed the beer and grabbed his coat "better get goin then so Noel doesn't throw another tantrum" they spent the drive in silence and as they pulled up they noticed fans and press waiting, Liam didn't mind the fans it was the press that pissed him off  "sorry Liam there isn't another entrance" "it's cool" Liam got out the car, Dave gave the keys to a guy so he could park it, he walked up to Liam's side and they began to walk to the entrance Liam stopped to sign autographs, pose for photos and chat with fans but the press kept pushing their cameras in, asking questions and then a photographer knocked a female fan to the ground Liam turned on him "be careful you fucking cunt" the guy kept taking pictures Liam lost his temper and punched him, then knelt down on the floor to help the girl, he picked her up, pushed the photographer out the way and asked Dave to look after her while he finished signing things. They went inside taking the girl with them "I'm so sorry about that the press are fucking idiots are you ok? Do u want us to call anyone? Take you to hospital? Your bleeding" she looked up at him "it's ok my friend is out there, I'm sure some plaster's and a rinse off will be enough thank you" "ok go get ya friend, sort yourself out and you can come watch the interview" Liam walked off up the stairs to where he needed to be. The rest of the band were waiting upstairs guigsy handed Liam a beer, Liam sat down and began chatting to bonehead. Dave found the girls somewhere to sit while he got the first aid kit. He cleaned her wounds and helped with the plaster's he found them somewhere to sit while they waited to watch the interview. Dave walked up to Find the band. When he got there he noticed that Pete and Alex were there they were the other security people for the band Dave referred to them as general security, the weren't assigned a person and didn't work 24/7 like he did. He did get paid more, he called it hazard pay but he would have done it without the extra cash because Liam was his friend. The show's producer came out "ok guys, nearly ready for you just a few rules cos this show goes out before 9pm. So try not to swear too much, Noel and Liam try not to get into a big argument, subject's to stay away from drugs and sex. Yes it's pre recorded and we can edit and bleep things but the less we have to do that the more of the interview we can show" the band were used to being told not to swear and stuff when they were on show's that aired early. Noel answered "sure we'll try" the producer left. The band began to get themselves ready and quickly have another drink the producer came back "ok guys we're ready for you" the band walked on to the stage to claps and cheering from the audience, they sat on the sofa in the usual way with Liam and Noel nearest the presenter. The interview went well they only swore a couple of times and that was because Liam forgot he wasn't allowed to so when he did Noel kicked him. They finished the interview and played one song and headed back to the hotel for a bit before the radio interview. Liam and bonehead headed to the bar, Noel went up to his room and the others went to phone family. After a few drinks Alex came over "time to head to the radio station's office" the both got up and followed him to the car everyone was there except Noel "Pete's gone to get Noel" Alex said after noticing Liam looking around "ok but where's Dave?" "He's not coming with us he's helping sort out for the gig and needs to ring his other half" Liam was confused Dave usually went everywhere with him, he wasn't used to being alone. The car pulled up at the stations office and they headed in. The interview was ok but Liam was quieter than usual being without Dave made him nervous. They headed back to the hotel, Liam began to look for Dave but couldn't find him anywhere, he began to panic Dave kept him level, Liam knew if he started to feel bad Dave would be there to help him, why would he leave him, had he decided he'd had enough of looking after him, had Liam done something wrong. He headed to his room, grabbed a drink and sat staring at the wall. After another couple of drinks he made up some lines. There was a knock on the door "hey Liam it's Dave" Liam opened the door "where have you been? I've been looking for you you could have told me you weren't coming to the radio interview" Dave looked at him, Liam was obviously angry and upset. He hadn't expected Liam to react like this. "I had to ring the family it was the only time they were free to talk after I decided to help get things ready for the show cos you were already half way through the interview by that time, there was no need to panic Alex told you where I was" "but how was I supposed to know if he was telling me the truth you could have left and he was covering for you" "I wouldn't leave you, you know that calm down ok" Liam sat down and looked at the wall again. They sat in silence for the ride to the venue, even at the venue Liam didn't talk to him. Dave knew he'd calm down eventually so didn't push it. Liam seemed to cheer up when he got on stage so the show went off great, they came of stage and had a few drinks backstage and Liam and Noel seemed to be ok with each other, they didn't mention the fight they'd had that morning. They all went back to the hotel to get some sleep. Liam decided to phone Kelly before he went to bed as she wasn't working, he picked up the phone and dialled. There was no answer, maybe she was in the shower so he gave it fifteen minutes and tried again, still no answer he tried another 6 times with no answer Liam began to panic. She wasn't working why wasn't she there? Had she left, realised she'd made a mistake, decided he was an awful person, what had he done wrong. He drank until he fell asleep. Next morning he felt like shit, a hangover mixed with depression, thankfully the tv appearance had been cancelled due to the presenter being ill. When he left for the airport he pulled his jacket collar up, put on his big sunglasses and kept his head down. There was press outside the hotel and press outside the airport the constant clicking of the cameras did his head in they sounded so loud. On the plane he lent his head against the window and closed his eyes. After getting off the plane they headed straight to the hotel. Dave walked Liam to his room, dropped his bags down and offered to make a coffee hoping that might perk him up a bit. He gave Liam the coffee, sat down with him to drink his coffee "you ok Liam?" "Just hungover gonna have a nap after my coffee" Dave left him alone Liam went straight to the phone to call Kelly again she didn't pick up, it was her day off she should be answering, he tried another five times. Then he just sat staring at the wall drinking and snorting lines of coke. He got up and went to his bags, got his toiletries bag out and found the razor blades he had stashed there. He phoned Kelly one last time, still no answer. He got a blade out and began to dragged it across his skin, blood began dropping on his jeans but he didn't care. There was a knock on the door "hey Liam it's Dave can I come in?" Liam looked at the door "it's open" Dave walked in to see Liam just sitting with a beer in his hand as Dave got closer he saw the coke on the table, then the blood on his jeans. "Liam what's wrong? What have you done?" Liam looked up, he looked so sad "Kelly's not answering the phone, I got stressed and didn't know what to do" "look Liam she's got a job, she's got friends she'll want to spend time with. She's got a life Liam she won't sit by the phone waiting for your call" "I know, I know I'm just confused, I don't understand things. Maybe I need her more than she needs me" Dave could see the confusion in his face, he didn't know what to do or say but he tried anyway "your just getting used to being together, figuring things out give it time" Liam lent over and snorted some coke, got another beer and sat back down "so what am I doing today?" "Well you've got a radio interview, a tv appearance, then the gig and we fly back to London tomorrow" "cool I'll just get changed then I'm all yours" with that he he got up, started to go through his bags to find some pants. It only took fifteen minutes for him to get ready. Dave went down to get the car ready and Liam tried Kelly again, still no answer. He got in the car smiled at Dave but Dave knew it was a fake smile and Liam could tell "everything ok?" Dave asked "aye just a bit tired you know" Liam spent the rest of the drive looking out of the window. Pulling up at the back entrance to the radio station, bonehead was outside talking to Alex and Pete "hey you Twat" Liam shouted as he got out the car "piss off ya cunt" bonehead laughed and threw a van in Liam's direction "are the others here? Is there alcohol?" "Everyone's here, there's a crate up there we've got twenty minutes so plenty of time" Dave rolled the window "I'll just go park the car then I'll hang out with Alex and Pete till ya finished, behave yourself" he laughed. Liam and bonehead walked up the stairs to the waiting room, grabbed a beer and sat down, Noel had a notebook in front of him and was writing away"you writing a new song?" Noel looked up "no just notes for interviews and set list for tonight" "oh we getting written rules now chief?" Liam laughed "well maybe you'll take more notice if I write them down instead of just telling you" Noel didn't sound angry but was still making a point about Liam following the rules, Liam laughed Noel passed Liam a bit of paper with the usual set of rules then at the bottom he'd written the rules given to him by the radio station with the words this is a live interview underlined. They were called through to the studio and gave a short interview, mainly Noel and Liam doing the talking. They then headed to the tv studio where they were to play three songs and do a short interview, it was pre recorded so the rules were not as strict as they were on live shows. The stage was small so the five of them would be quite close to each other and would need to watch they didn't injure each other, Noel decided it would be best not to give Liam his tambourine. After the tv show they had twenty minutes to get changed and get to sound check, there was only one support band so as to make sure the gig finished at ten as it was a weekday. The show went great up until the second last song when Liam and Noel had a bit of a bicker and Liam threw his tambourine at him and Noel threw a can back but the gig still managed to end on a high. The band went back to the hotel to get some sleep as the flight home was early in the morning. Liam got back to his room he went straight to the phone, still no answer, he tried again ten times, no answer. He got a bottle of jack out of his bag then the coke out of his toiletries bag. Sat down on the bed made up some lines and opened the jack. Eventually he lay down on the bed drunk, high and depressed.