A image can cover so much pain (oasis/Liam Gallagher)

(It's Good) To Be Free

Liam woke up early, much earlier than usual. He just wanted to be out of this place as quick as possible. He started to think what he would do when he got home, definitely have a shower, call his mam, order pizza, sleep in his own bed. All of them simple things but he'd missed doing them.
He got up and wondered round, the door was locked so he couldn't go anywhere else. He wondered if he would get into trouble for having a cigarette, maybe if he shouted for Dean and asked. He walked over to the door and knocked on the window, quietly at first then slightly louder. After a while he shouted through eventually Dean heard him
"Liam keep it down. Are you ok?"
"Yes sorry I did try knocking quietly but you didn't hear it so I had to shout. I was just wondering if I could smoke?"
"You can't smoke in hear but you can go to the garden or one of the little rooms"
"Cool just the nearest room will be fine"
Dean took Liam into a small room, passed him an ashtray and said he would come back in fifteen minutes. As he was smoking Liam began to look around the room there was the usual boring chairs, table, kettle and potted plants. Then there was the pictures and posters on the walls. Images like kids playing football, animals, waterfalls but also the night sky, a abandoned house and a child on there own. All the pictures were beautiful but they were obviously there to help with identifying feelings. Then you had the usual posters with helplines and advice which Liam always thought were pointless. When Dean came back Liam asked him if the posters ever worked he said it did for some people.
Liam headed back to his room got ready and packed his bags, he had hidden the radio away and he assumed they would give him his belt and laces back just before he left. He sat himself on the bed and waited, after a while Dean came in
"Dr's Thomas and Barns will be down in about twenty minutes. How you feeling about going home? Excited?"
"I'm really looking forward to it, I've missed so many things, I've missed things that you don't normally even think about it's crazy. I just wanna go in my own shower haha but also I have to call my mam I miss her, I'm worried about her and she's probably worried about me"
Dr Thomas came in with some paperwork just a few forms for Liam to sign and his treatment plan, which he needed to go through and his medication. He assumed they would wait until Dave got there before they went through the medication as they knew Dave helped him with things like that. Liam signed everything without reading it, put the stuff he was given in his bag.
Dean knocked on the door
"Hello everyone. Dave is here, I'll bring him through"
Dave walked in said hi and introduced himself to everyone, one thing you could say about Dave was that he was always polite, which came in handy whenever he was trying to sort out Liam's messes.
"Hey Liam, good to see you. Hopefully you're doing better bet you can't wait to get home"
Liam laughed, Dave knew what Liam was going to say
"Get the fucking car"
Dr Thomas went through all of Liam's medication with them, Liam was a bit worried about how many tablets he had to take, ten in total luckily Dave was good at taking things in. Dr Thomas gave them some paperwork to go with the tablet's along with a copy of Liam's treatment plan, the organised for her to give him a call when he was on tour and an in person appointment when he was back from tour, and that was that Liam was free.
"And off I go. Where's the car?"
"Just in the car park, I'll get your bags, you grab your paperwork and your medication and I'll take you home"
They said their goodbyes and headed to the car, dumped everything in the boot and got in the car.
"Thank fuck for that, I can go home"
"Liam was it that bad?"
"I couldn't watch tv, read a newspaper, listen to the radio I had to hide to listen to the one you left, I wasn't allowed to speak to anyone apart from my Dr and nurse, they locked my door, I was locked in. It drove me nuts"
"Hopefully it helped, started to put you on the road to dealing with your issues"
"We'll see eh. Thanx for picking me up, just drop me home I'm gonna have a shower, ring my mam and watch some shitty film then go to bed"
Dave turned into Liam's street, parked up and helped Liam in with his stuff.
"Liam I'll put your medication and paperwork in the top drawer in your bedroom, we can sort it out another day as long as we get it done before the tour"
"Ok, fine. I'm gonna go in the shower now, so see you tomorrow?"
"Ok I'll leave you to it. I'll call round tomorrow. Do you want me to call tonight?"
"Leave it tonight I'm just gonna chill, enjoy being home you know"
"Ok see you tomorrow"
Dave left and Liam flopped down on the settee. After resting for a bit he went to the fridge got a beer and put the telly on. He left the telly on, got some coke and pills then went in the shower. Standing there with the hot water running over him, he kept thinking how good it was to be at home, how he never wanted to be in that situation ever again, how good it was to be free. Wrapping a towel round himself he had the last line of coke, headed to the living room towel drying his hair. He looked up and got the shock of his life, Kelly was standing there. Liam hadn't heard the door because of the telly.
"Hi Liam"
Liam wasn't sure what to say. He just looked at her, still as beautiful as ever but very obviously pregnant. He put down the towel he was using for his hair, slowly walked over and placed his hand on her belly. He felt strangely happy knowing it was his baby in there. He wasn't sure how long he stood there but realised he should speak
"Hey, how are you? How's the baby?"
"I'm ok, just the usual pregnancy stuff. The baby is fine, they think it's a girl. I have something for you, just let me find it"
She began digging through her bag, pulled out a small envelope and handed it to him. Liam opened it to find it was a copy of the scan picture
"I thought you might like to have it"
He looked at the grainy image, there it was his baby, he couldn't help but smile. A little girl he thought, god he was going to be a nightmare.
"Thank you. I wasn't sure if I should ask for one you know. I didn't know if it was right"
"She's your child too Liam of course you can have one, to be honest I wasn't sure you'd want one"
They both laughed. It was one of those moments
"I better go and put some clothes on then maybe we can sit and talk"
"It's not like you need to worry I've seen you naked before, obviously"
She pointed to the baby bump.
Liam wondered off to the bedroom, picked up some pj bottoms, a tshirt and he quickly did a couple of lines in the hope it would help with the conversation he was about to have.
Kelly sat down and moved the cushion's around to get herself into a comfortable position. She was surprised Liam had wanted the picture since he really hadn't seemed that interested in things the last few times they had talked about it. Though it seemed he wanted to talk about it now, she didn't know if she should worry or not.
Liam walked back through, smiling
"You comfortable? Do you want some water? Tea? Coffee? Beer?.... No beer would be bad right? I'll have one though"
"Orange juice would be nice, Dave said he was gonna put some in the fridge for you. You can have a beer if you want. I moved the cushion's around I've got used to which position to put them in so I'm cool"
Liam got the orange juice and beer then sat down next to her. He still really wasn't sure what to say, he still hadn't really made his mind up as to what to do. His best option was to ask her what she wanted first. He brought the drinks through and sat beside her, took a deep breath and spoke
"I'm just gonna get straight to the point instead of going round the houses. What do you want to do about the baby?"
Looking him straight in the eye she said
"Well obviously I decided to keep it. How much you want to be involved is up to you, if you want us to make a go of it I'd like that but I'm not gonna force you into anything, I can be a single mum if that's what you want and don't worry I'm not gonna take you to court or demand loads of money off you, I'm sure we can make a arrangement between ourselves"
Liam sat there thinking, he wasn't good at making decisions, Noel always told him he didn't think things through properly. It stressed him out when people put all the pressure on him.
"Liam, you don't have to answer now you can take time to think if you want"
He wanted to decide now if he took time to think about it he would just stress himself out.
"Well maybe we could try to make a go of it but be aware that things may fuck up and stuff. Cos to be honest I've got no idea how the press would spin the whole thing and if you'll be able to deal with that shit. Obviously there's also my management company, record company, Noel etc will react, they still don't know"
"Ok. Obviously making a go of it is what I really want to do but I do know it might not work. Dealing with the press is something I'll have to learn to deal with. all I can do is try."
She rested her head on his shoulder, he put his arm around her then they sat watching the telly in silence. A few hours later Liam looked down at her, she'd fallen asleep. He didn't want to wake her but it was probably a bad position to sleep in. He tried to pick her up but couldn't. She stirred and Liam managed to walk a half asleep Kelly through to the bedroom. He got himself ready for bed and lay down beside her.
Liam could hear banging he wasn't sure if it was a half asleep dream or it was coming from another person in the block, he looked at the clock it was nine am, he turned over and put his pillow over his head. Then Kelly was trying to wake him up.
"Liam what's that noise? It sounds like someone banging"
"No fucking idea but they wanna shut up the fucking cunts or I'll find them and batter them"
Then came the shouting
"Liam you fucking cunt, open this door. If you're in bed get the fuck up. You disappear for two weeks when we've got a tour to organise. I'm gonna keep banging and shouting till you open this door"
Liam sighed. This really wasn't a good situation he was going to have to let Noel in and in her current condition he couldn't ask Kelly to hide. He had hoped to talk to Noel alone first, when he wasn't pissed off with him but he was going to have to explain everything to a angry Noel while Kelly was there. That would be fun.
The knocking continued so Liam decided to open the door.
"Finally. I don't know where the fuck you've been and I probably don't want to. Now we have a tour to sort out, we've got a tv appearance in two days"
Noel walked to the fridge, come back with two beers and sat down.
"Fucking hell what have you done with these cushions"
Liam ignored his comment
"I'm gonna go and put some pants on I'll be back in a minute"
Liam went into the bedroom, Kelly was sitting on the bed
"Liam I need the toilet. What are we gonna do?"
"Just go to the toilet it's ok. I'm not expecting you to hide in here so just be the same as you normally would and we'll deal with Noel when he says something"
Liam headed back through to Noel, grabbed his beer and sat down, Noel started going through the usual tour stuff, most of which bored the hell out of Liam. The sound of the bedroom door then the bathroom door, Noel didn't even notice. A few minutes later Kelly came through.
"I'm getting some orange juice, do you guys want anything while I'm there?"
Noel looked up, he looked Kelly up and down.
"Another beer. Kelly isn't it."
"Yes I'm Kelly. Liam do you want a beer?"
"It's ok I'll get the drinks. You sit down or lie down or whatever is best for you"
Kelly sat down and moved the cushions around to get comfortable, Liam went for the drinks
"So you're the one who's putting up with my brother, I always know when he has someone even if he doesn't tell me. My usual comment is I hope you know what you've got yourself into. Though this time I can see it's a bit more complicated. Look I'm just gonna be honest my little brother is not cut out to be a dad, he's just not wired right. He'll get bored, he'll be upset he's not the centre of attention anymore, you'll know what he's like. My advice is to run, find yourself a nice guy who'll look after both of you obviously Liam will pay for the child. He's just not gonna cope with actually being involved in being involved if you know what I mean"
"Noel I get it but we've decided to try and I think we deserve to be allowed to try. Yes we both know it could fuck up, we're both going to have things we will need to get used to. Please Noel can you try to support him, try to help him at the end of the day he's your little brother"
Liam came back through with the drinks and smiled
"You two been talking about me?"
"Yes we were, I've noticed your situation but we'll talk about it later. Right now we need to talk about the tour"
Kelly finished off her drink, tried to stand up but struggled, Liam walked over and helped, he noticed Noel rolling his eyes
"Ok guys I'll leave you in peace, I've got a doctors appointment later anyway, before you ask nothings wrong it's just a normal, regular check up, mainly for me really."
"Ok. Call me later"
As soon as the door closed Noel started
"What the fuck Liam, how the hell have you got yourself into this situation"
"How do you think, do I have to explain the birds and the bees to you"
"Don't be a smart arse with me you daft cunt. Do you know how much shit this is gonna cause. I can't believe how irresponsible you've been, have you never heard of condoms. You think with your dick instead of your brain, I'm not even sure you have a brain. God this is a complete disaster for the oasis brand. I'm at a complete loss, your gonna have to let me think about this"
Liam couldn't be arsed with this shit, Noel treating him like a fucking idiot. He just blew up shouting, getting in Noel's face, threatening to kill him, the punch he threw actually connected, Noel went crazy, started listing all the reasons Liam would be a useless father and he should tell Kelly to leave him and his only involvement should be money. Liam went into the bedroom and slammed the door, Noel left, slamming the front door after him. They didn't talk for about a week even when they did the tv show, by the time the tour started they had progressed to a few words and arguments, which was better than nothing. First stop was France. The first show was amazing, Liam felt so good being back on stage, having the whole crowd in the palm of his hand, he felt powerful, like a god. The craziness was back, the parties, the drugs, the drink and the girls. Dave joined the tour five dates in, he hadn't been able to be there from the start as his dad had been in hospital. He was worried about what he would find when he got to the hotel. Would Liam have kept to his treatment plan, had he been taking his medication, had he just fell back into the drink, drugs and girls. The last time he'd spoken to Liam was the day he brought him home, he'd called quickly to say his dad had been taken into hospital and he wasn't sure when he'd be able to join the tour, he'd called Noel yesterday to say he would be joining them today. He pulled into the car park of a posh hotel in Holland, checked in and got Liam's room number.
Liam was sitting on his bed a drink in one hand a cigarette in the other, his coke was lined up on the bedside table along with a couple of pill bottles. Someone was knocking on the door he really couldn't be bothered to answer it, he noticed he hadn't put the lock on so shouted for whoever it was to come in.
"Oh hey Dave, didn't know you were joining us today. Grab a beer, sit down. There's fuck all on telly mind and I can't find my schedule so got no idea if I'm supposed to be anywhere"
He smiled and laughed
Dave looked around it was just the same as any other tour. Empty bottles and cans everywhere, overflowing ashtrays, empty cigarette boxes and clothes all over the place. He spotted the drugs on the table, he guessed Liam was high.
"I brought you some extra stuff like socks, shirts and jumpers. Have you been taking your medication? Sticking to your treatment plan? I can see your still on drugs and are drinking, hopefully not too much though"
"Dave man come on have some fun, relax I'm fine I'm just enjoying myself. We'll talk about all that fucking shit another day"
With the Liam had a few lines, dropped some whiskey in a glass of coke on the table and drank it in three.
"Come on Dave I've got time before sound check, let's go to the pub, have a laugh, a bit of fun. There's these two pretty blonde girls been hanging around watching us for the past few days I'm sure we can pursued them to join us"
"Maybe it's better if you just chill before sound check, you know Noel will get pissed off if you're late or you turn up and just mess about. Plus I thought you and Kelly had decided to make a go of it"
"Fuck Noel, he's a twat. Plus remember what happens on tour stays on tour."
Liam laughed but Dave rolled his eyes, he just felt like giving up, had Liam not learned anything in the hospital or did he just feel he had to keep his image up. His main worry was if Liam had been on a high and taking drugs for days it meant a massive low was on the way. He obviously hadn't been sticking to his treatment plan or taking his medication so there was nothing to stop him going down the rabbit hole.
Liam got up and began to go through his shirts, he wanted to go out, he was finally out of the hospital, he was finally free. He was on tour he wanted to have some fun, he'd been bored shitless for two weeks, nothing to do, no telly, no one to talk to, literally his life had been a locked room with a bed, two pieces of furniture and a trip down a corridor to what they call therapy, to him it was let's talk about bad things and see what they mean, which most of the time made him feel worse. Now he was on tour he could go to parties, get drunk, play to thousands of people who adored him, he could do whatever he wanted
He selected a nice blue shirt and black jeans, they would look good with his leather jacket and adidas trainers. Now to do his hair.
Dave could see Liam was determined to go out so now he had a choice to make weather to go with him and keep an eye on him or let him go alone and deal with whatever happens later. Neither option was safe, Liam didn't like people keeping an eye on him and there was no way of knowing what could happen if he went alone.
"Ok Liam if you give me ten minutes to change my shirt I'll come with you"
"Great. We'll start in the hotel bar, see if them birds are there then we can head off to a pub for a bit. I'm sure you'll get me to sound check"
Dave's room was next door to Liam's so it only took him five minutes to change his shirt the other five was spent thinking that this was a bad idea and how to keep it as calm as possible.
They got to the hotel bar and just as Liam had predicted the two blonde girls were there, after opening a tab and ordering some drinks Liam headed straight for their table, after an hour or so Liam pursued them to come to a local pub, they followed him like little puppy dogs. Dave was conscious there was only three hours till sound check, he knew the best way to get Liam there in time would be to tell him they only had two hours which meant if Liam decided to play up they would still be ok so no argument with Noel.
Liam was enjoying himself nice drinks, people to talk to and a few lines of coke then off to sound check and the gig, he knew the girls wanted to shag him but he wasn't really in the mood, he just wanted to enjoy the freedom of being able to go to the pub and do the show so when Dave said they had to go after the current pint he was happy to say his goodbyes and promise to put them on the guest list for the gig.
"Dave why don't we walk to the venue it's not far, it's a nice day and there's no press about."
Dave agreed and they headed off not long after the set off Liam decided it would be fun to dance and mess about, Dave left him to it, he seemed to be enjoying himself, he looked happy, yes he was drunk, yes he was high but it was nice to see him happy. When they arrived at the venue, straight away Noel started issuing orders and as usual Liam started winding him up. After the usual argument they settled down and ran through the sound check, when Noel was happy they all headed to one of the rooms backstage to chill until the gig, football was the main subject of conversation until bonehead asked a question
"So Liam where you been hiding, you just disappeared for two weeks"
Noel gave Liam the look, the one brothers perfect over the years, the big brother warning the little brother to be careful what he says
"Just chilling you know, having a bit of time on me own to de stress. Nothing major"
"Just unlike you not to at least be photographed once or twice coming out of a pub drunk"
Everyone except Noel laughed
"You know my brother, sometimes he just needs to sit and sort his life out"
Noel hadn't mentioned Kelly since that day at Liam's place, it pissed Liam off he knew Noel was trying to stress him out, making him on edge, constantly worrying about when Noel would say something. Noel was trying to punish him. But if that's what gets him off, fine. Liam wasn't worried about it, he knew Noel was gonna say something but he didn't give a shit when, that was Noel's problem.
The talk went back to random shit and before they knew it it was time to go on stage. As always it went great, they blew everyone away and the fans loved it. After signing some autographs and posing for some pictures they headed back to the hotel, as usual they had a little party and Liam got a girl to come to his room. The rest of the tour went well, good performance's, good crowds. The usual interviews, tv shows and as expected the usual arguments with Noel. It was hard being away from home for so long Liam missed his mam, Paul and his friends but he loved doing gigs, loved the buzz and the attention. Noel had been talking about asking the management if they could cut the length of future tours, it was hard and they did get a bit burned out by the last few shows and living out of a suitcase for months is not the best thing this tour had been around two months and even Liam was getting tired, but only four more gigs then home. Liam walked out on to the balcony of his room, he looked out at the beautiful view, Italy was beautiful especially at night. He looked back into the room, such a posh one, a beautiful girl asleep in his bed. Turning back to to the view, looking out at the city again he thought to himself "it's good to be free"