A image can cover so much pain (oasis/Liam Gallagher)

Are we doing the right thing?

Kelly was tidying up, Liam came back today and she wanted the flat to look nice for him. She had been out with her friends yesterday so had missed his calls and a last minute shift had meant she'd missed the ones the day before, sadly she didn't have the number for the hotel in Ireland so couldn't apologise. She was worried he'd be upset with her. While he was away she'd been thinking about her feelings for him she loved spending time with him, she was so happy when she was with him, he was kind, cared about her feelings, wanted to know about her and her life. She was falling in love with him. Here she was in his flat, waiting for him to come home yet it wasn't in a bad way she had free run to come and go as she wanted, he'd left money for food and told her to do what she wanted. Still she wanted to make the flat look nice as a thank you and knowing what time he was getting in she had decided to cook.
Liam sat on the plane leaning against the window all he could think of was him getting home and the flat being empty, that Kelly had left and how he was gonna get home start drinking, snort too much coke and play with his razor blades. Getting into London Dave had sorted a taxi to take him home as he had to go home to his bird. The taxi pulled up at his flat, Liam paid him and got his bags. He stopped at the door scared to open it but knew he had too. He put the key in the lock and turned it, as he walked in he could smell cooking he put his bag down and went to the. Kitchen. Kelly was there cooking, Liam smiled "hey darling what you cooking?" "Oh hey, well I noticed you like a full English so thought I'd make you one since you had a early flight and probably didn't get the chance to eat" Liam put his arms around her waist and gave her a kiss "thank you darling, I'm starving and it smells great" she smiled "go sit down I'll bring it over" Liam walked to the table, the knife, fork and sauce were already on the table, she'd also put a vase with a flower in the middle of the table. She came through with two plates put them down, sat down and smiled "tuck in babe". The ate in silence but still smiling. After they finished Liam took the plates out, dumped them in the sink and got some orange out of the fridge, poured two glasses and took them back to the table. "So how did the show's go?" "Great, the interviews were good too. Me and Noel had a fight as usual but nothing major" Liam looked around and spoke again "I tried to call you but you didn't answer" "oh Liam I wasn't ignoring you, I got a last minute shift at work, I went out with some friends one night and I didn't have the number for the hotel in Ireland so couldn't call you back, it came up as blocked on the phone when I tried to get it" Liam looked a bit embarrassed "I should have left the number in a message I'm sorry it was stupid of me" "don't worry it happens we'll remember next time" they both laughed. Liam switched the tv on and began flitting through the channels "god what a load of shit, nothing on tv worth watching, I'm gonna unpack" Liam took his bags through to the bedroom, threw his washing on the chair, went to hang up his clean ones, noticed Kelly had hung some of her clothes up which made him smile. He took his toiletries to the bathroom and put his shoes by the bedroom door. He sat back down next to Kelly, pulled her in close and kissed her. Eventually Kelly had to go into work, Liam called her a taxi and told her to put the one home on his account "I'll wait up for you if you want?" "It's cool if you get tired just go to bed" she smiled and headed out the door. Liam washed the dishes, put his clothes in the washer, had a few drinks, smoked a few joints and lay down for a bit. Then got up did a few lines of coke, had more to drink and wondered round the flat, then went back to lie down and fell asleep. When Kelly got in Liam was asleep, she decided not to wake him up and got a quick coffee before getting into bed herself. Next morning she woke up to find Liam lying there staring at the ceiling, she sat up "want some coffee darling?" "No" tea? Some toast?" "No" he didn't move "you ok?" He didn't answer. She got up and went through to the kitchen and put the kettle on then heard a big crash, she ran back through to the bedroom Liam was sitting up and the bedside lamp was on the floor at the bottom of the bed in pieces. "My god Liam are you alright?" He looked at her "does it fucking look like I'm ok" he snapped. Kelly didn't know what to say or do so she ran back to the kitchen. Liam was angry, depressed and confused. He was angry at himself for becoming attached to Kelly, he didn't need anyone he could look after himself, he was angry at Noel for how he reacted to the whole thing, he was depressed because he knew it wouldn't last, that he didn't deserve to be happy, because he knew Kelly would end up hating him, he was confused about his feelings, if he really wanted her or not, in general why he was feeling the way he was feeling. He wanted to be alone yet he didn't. He took his coke out of his bedside table and did a few lines and decided to get up. He walked through to the living room, Kelly wasn't there so he went into the kitchen she was sitting at the table with her head in her hands she looked up when she realised he was there but she didn't say anything, he walked past her, got a beer and walked back into the living room he couldn't be bothered to explain himself, he wasn't in the mood for any shit. Kelly came through to the living room, saw Liam drinking and staring at the wall "Liam do you want me to go?" He looked at her "I don't know" Kelly couldn't think of a answer to that "look I'm just gonna go and you can call me if you want to" she went to get her coat. Liam stood up "no don't go just give me some time and I'll get out of this mood soon I promise I just need space but at the same time I don't want you to leave" Kelly put her coat back down and sat down "ok fine" Liam got up and went to the bedroom, Kelly stayed in the living room. Liam sat on his bed with a bottle of jack, his head spinning, he didn't feel like he was really there, he didn't feel anything it was like everything had went blank and he sat like that until someone flipped a switch and the feelings just flooded his head he got angry again and threw a empty beer bottle off the wall. Kelly heard the smash but didn't get up, she wanted too but knew she should leave him alone. She wanted to help him but she didn't understand what was wrong with him. Liam sat there just thinking why was he sitting there throwing things off the wall in a mood when a sweet, nice beautiful girl was sitting in his living room he didn't understand and all he wanted was to understand. He got up to pick up the pieces of the lamp and bottle, he dropped most of it in the bin but started to play with one of the pieces of glass before he knew it he'd sliced into his arm "shit" he grabbed a towel and wrapped it round his arm. There was a knock on the door "Liam do you want a coffee?" "Give me a minute" he began to panic and quickly put a long sleeve top on. He came out the bedroom "look sweetheart I'll make the coffee since I'm being a bit of a cunt" she smiled and sat down, Liam brought the coffee through and passed her the cup, he hadn't noticed the blood seeping through his top. "Oh god Liam your bleeding, did u hurt yourself on the lamp?" She went to take his arm to look at it, he pulled it away "it's nothing just caught it when I was clearing up" "I'll clean it and put a plaster on stop it messing up ya top and getting infected" Liam looked panicked "em no it's ok I'm fine" she decided to leave it and drank her coffee, she could see the blood still coming through his top. After a while she had to speak up "Liam your still bleeding you really need to let me take a look, I'm pretty good at this sort of thing" Liam didn't know what to do she was right he was still bleeding but he worried she'd know he was lying about how he did it and if she found out she'd leave him. "Come on Liam" she got his first aid kit and came back over, sat in front of him and took his hand, she slowly pushed his sleeve up he should have stopped her but he didn't. Kelly looked down at the cuts, she began to clean them up as she did she noticed the old scares, the older cuts. She didn't say anything just carried on fixing him up. As she pulled his sleeve down and stood up "there you go darling, we'll have to get that top in the wash quick tho or it will stain" he smiled "I'll change it in a few minutes" they sat there in silence for a few minutes then Kelly turned round and decided to just come out with it "my sister used to cut herself, she suffered with mental illness she killed herself five years ago which is why I don't mention her but I still recognise it when I see it" Liam looked away "I'm not crazy, I'm not a nutter I'm just a bit of a up and person and I get frustrated sometimes" he was happy with his kind of explanation which actually didn't explain anything he got up and put his top in the washer, picked up another one from the chair and sat back down. He began to think if he wanted this to work he should tell her the truth after what had happened with her sister she might not want to have to deal with things like that again and as he'd found today he couldn't stop his moods changing when she was around "was your sister older? Did she get help?" "She was two years older, she wouldn't see anyone for years it was only in the last year of life but it was too late I found her hanging in her room" "I'm so sorry that must have been awful" "I'm ok I saw a therapist to help me to deal with it and a lot better now" Liam looked down "look I really like you so I'm going to be honest and I've only been honest with one other person. I'm screwed up some days I hate myself some days I love myself. My entire crazy personality is sometimes totally right, some days I fake it for the media, I get angry and frustrated and I don't know why I'm like this. Yes I hurt myself yes I've tried to kill my self Dave made me go to therapy but it's hit and miss as to if I engage, be truthful and I walked out of my last appointment. Now since you've told me about your sister I will understand if you don't wanna deal with all this again or it will upset you" "Liam it's too late I've fallen in love with you and I want to be with you, I know you'll have bad points about you, that it will be hard but I have experience in this situation so maybe I can help I only ask one thing of you, please go to therapy" he nodded and pulled her close both thinking am I doing the right thing? Liam fell asleep, Kelly got up letting him lie down properly she went and got a blanket put it over him and a pillow under his head, he must have been so tired he didn't even wake for a second while she made him comfortable. She made herself a coffee and sat at the table. She'd gone through so much with her sister, the constant trips to the hospital, finding her in pools of her own blood, the mood swings, the arguments and finding her dead. Part of her just wanted to run, to just go grab her coat and leave while he was asleep but she couldn't, she just couldn't leave him she had fallen in love with him. Liam woke up, looked around and panicked, Kelly wasn't there she'd obviously put a blanket over him but still she wasn't there. He stood up "Kelly are you still here? Kelly?" She came through from the kitchen "hey you. I hope I didn't wake you I just fancied a coffee and you were dead to the world so I didn't want to wake you, so made you comfortable and made myself coffee" she smiled "I thought you'd left" he laughed "Nah you can't get rid of me that easy do you want a coffee?" "I'm just gonna have some orange juice" she went through and got him a glass. They sat down for a bit then Liam took her hand and took her through to the bedroom, they began to kiss he took his shirt off and began to take hers off before he could undo her bra she pulled back a little and looked at him, her eyes looking at his scars and marks "how do you hide it? How do you get away with it?" He looked at her and decided to answer "I get into fights a lot, I smash things up I assume people just put it down to that. No one has asked or said anything except for Dave who's a god send" she lent forward and kissed him. They lay back on the bed, she climbed on top of him, dropped her bra on the floor and began to take his pants off. They stayed in bed for the next four hours, eventually Kelly sat up "I've gotta go to work then I'm going to my mums for a couple of days, maybe if you come pick me up you can say hi to my mum" Liam laughed "she'll hate me! I mean come on you know what the press say about me" "she won't have read it, she's not a gossip person plus once she meets you she'll love you" she smiled and got herself ready, gave him a kiss and headed out.