Conceited [H.S.]

FIFTY-THREE

Chapter Songs:

last time by little luna

Comedown by Luke Hemmings

...

ANDREA WILSON

My eyes drift over the small crowd of people all searching for their seats or chatting with others in the nearly empty room.

Meetings aren't usually that busy considering it's nearly nine, the morning ones are normally busier. I didn't have much of a choice but to come at this time since I just got off work. I definitely wasn't going to come before my shift.

I lean against the door frame as I try to decide what exactly I want to do. It's important for me to get this chip, but this is my first meeting where Jo isn't waiting outside for me in the parking lot.

To be fair, she did tell me five months ahead that her family's annual vacation dates overlapped with the day I would be two years clean. She was in tears when she told me, and was attempting to find a way out of going, but I told her not to worry.

She had called me before I had left for work to tell me how proud she was. Even with the slight time change of her being in a different state. She seemed to make a bigger deal of me being two years sober than I have been.

At some point in my life, I never thought that I'd make it two hours sober, let alone two years. Shit.

Two years since my life became incredibly boring.

I can't help but quietly chuckle to myself at my utterly terrible and intrusive joke. Probably not the best time to be joking about that but at least it made me smile.

My hand reaches for my phone to check for any new messages, but I'm met with the same 'no new notifications' messages yet again. Harry mentioned that he would be busy all day, but he made sure to text me and tell me congratulations and that he was proud of me.

I just wish I felt a bit prouder of myself. Instead, I've been wishing for this day to just end and be over with.

As the speaker walks up to the front of the scattered foldable chairs, I push the hood of my sweatshirt off my head. Today happened to be the one day Los Angeles got just a little bit of rain. It was as if my day was deemed to be average and gloomy from the beginning.

Clouds and rain don't necessarily help in motivating someone to get out of bed and do the bare minimum of their daily routine.

I walk over to the last row of chairs and take in a deep breath as I plop myself down on the seat closest to the center aisle. My phone is pushed back into my pocket as I begin to count down the minutes until I can head out without looking like a dick.

It isn't that I dislike meetings, they helped me tremendously with getting clean and staying clean. Today just hasn't felt exactly celebratory.

I've never been one to celebrate myself either, so for today at least, I'm just here to get my chip and go home.

"Welcome everyone, thank you for being here tonight, my name is Rose for anyone who is here for the first time," I hear the woman say kindly with a smile on her face. "Just a reminder that this is a closed NA meeting time, so friends and family are not allowed to observe or support. There is a schedule on the door with open and closed meeting times, in case anyone needs to come back for a different meeting," she continues while making sure that the room is filled with just addicts.

We're a fun crowd really. All wanting to stab our eyes out at the clear reminder of our sobriety.

I have seen her at a few morning meetings before she volunteered to help lead and navigate the nighttime meetings. I'm pretty sure she's eight years clean and sober if I remember correctly.