The Reincarnated Queen (Volturi Kings)

Chapter 54

In the days that passed the remaining Cullen members worried for their matriarch, she had fallen into a depression.

She laid listlessly in the bedroom, not moving, not doing anything but lying in the darkness, for she can never sleep.

Rosalie and Emmet worried over her while Jasper trained.

He worried for her as well but she would never be a mother to him, not really. He wished her well but he wasn't torn apart by her state, not like Rosalie and Emmet were.

Instead, Jasper put his efforts into training with the Guard members. They were for the most part happy to have him but he was getting frustrated, he should be stronger than this.

He knew what the problem was but he didn't know if he could change. Well, not as much him as Bella, he didn't know if she would accept his decision or it would push them away from each other right when they were truly starting to get somewhere.

They had started to share more casual touches in the last few days, started to feel more than friendship. It wasn't as if they were suddenly dating but they were making progress that Jasper was hard-pressed not to lose.

He frustratedly made his way out of the training room, he stalked down the halls, his eyes black.

He could tell some of the guards were disappointed by him, he had a certain reputation but he could only do so much without his full strength. While he may not have done terribly in training he should have been able to do much more.

He knew the rest of the guards were feeding today, a group of prisoners were being brought in.

He was tempted to join but he was hesitant, with both Bella and the fear of his gift. Feeding had never been a pleasant experience for him and he couldn't see it being any better surrounded by others feeding as well.

In the end, he turned away from the feeding room and headed for where he knew his mate would be.

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"Have you ever thought about your diet? After you turn I mean?" Jasper asked.

Bella looked at him confused before her eyes widened in understanding "well for a while I thought I would be a vegetarian. It was just the only option. Now....I don't know. I've talked to Lia and she explained how they get 'food' now and it doesn't sound so bad" She said, her voice getting quiet as she looked away.

Normally she wouldn't have been so honest but Jasper had proven that he wouldn't scold her, he genuinely wanted to know her opinions and would respect them. It was refreshing, but also slightly terrifying.

Jasper's eyes widened, he was shocked, maybe he had made this a bigger deal than it truly was.

"No, they aren't so bad. I've been considering going back to my old diet" Jasper said, taking in every reaction. He was very much hoping he hadn't screwed this up entirely.

Bella stilled but didn't otherwise react. Truly she understood, they had talked about how he didn't have much choice with joining the Cullen's. It's why as much as he wanted to, just couldn't care about Esme like Rosalie and Emmet did.

She let out a small sigh before turning to him, she immediately noticed he looked like he was waiting for impact making her smile turn sympathetic.

"That sounds nice, I'm sure the last few years have been hard. Especially feeling the other's thirst on top of your own" Bella said, trying to put him at ease.

He smiled a half smile, knowing what she was doing. "Yes, the Volturi's control is impressive. The only hunger I've felt was my own, they simply feed when they need to. The Vegetarian diet means we are always hungry, never satisfied. I felt the entire Covens hunger" he said, his voice taking on a faraway quality as he thought about the burning.

Bella winced "Is that what happened at the party? You felt everyone's hunger?" She asked confused, she didn't understand what had happened that day, it all happened much too quick for her to physically see and she was just told Jasper had lost control.

Jasper scowled and shook his head "Not exactly darling, I felt everyone else's hunger, I felt Edwards, he was about to attack you, hell, half of them were. The smell of your blood brought all my instincts to the front. I knew I had to protect you from them. I was going to run with you, explain everything later. Edward must have read my thoughts because he said something to Alice after the whole thing and whatever she was doing became worse. I couldn't fight the bond, before that, I had some control of my actions. When they buried me I became a puppet" he said, his voice taking on an empty quality as he remembered that day.

Bella winced "I'm sorry, I-" Bella was cut off by Jasper sharply turning towards her.

"Don't apologize, that day might have lead to a bad few months but it also lead to this. If that wouldn't have happened we never would have left Forks, we would have both been subject to the fate Edward and Alice planned for us. I would rather have another 7 months of torture than lose out on an eternity of happiness" He said passionately as he stared into her eyes.

Bella could see the honesty, the fact he didn't regret it, didn't regret anything, soothed a part of her. A part that worried he would resent her for her part in things.

She smiled, emotion welling in her eyes "I don't want to lose out on that happiness either" she whispered, knowing he would understand as only he could understand her. 

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original character or plot.