attraction.

Better Man. 2/2

all your comments gave me so much muse so please enjoy two updates in less than 12 hours  (* ^ ω ^)

Jeon Jungkook doesn't know when, but somewhere in all the fame, he'd lost a part of himself. In between the flashing lights, loud cheers from the crowd, endless after parties and endless increase in his bank account savings, Jeon Jungkook forgot about the things that mattered. He forgot about why he wanted to pursue music in the first place.

His mother was one of the first to warn him, telling him that he had his head up in the cloud for things that were temporary. He thought she was simply exaggerating, after he'd gotten a few fresh inks on his arm that year. She always hated his tattoos.

But even amid his endless stream of destruction, Park Chaeyoung stood by him.

She was there in the hospital room, making conversation with each staff when he was hooked to an IV drip after a party gone wrong and while his managers were busy running around making everyone sign non-disclosure forms, she was thanking every one personally for looking after him. When he'd awoken, she was asleep on the couch in his room, slightly drooling which always made him chuckle but his doctor told him, "... hell, you're lucky to have a girlfriend who loves you like that." When she woke up that afternoon, she didn't yell—she looked at him with teary eyes and told him that she loves him and couldn't bear a life without him.

But sometimes, it was a little too much.

She loved him too much and at times, it was suffocating.

Every time he looked at her, his heart was filled with guilt, knowing that in all that he was—he couldn't reciprocate the same love and affection to her.

In the beginning, things were all well. He was attracted to her in the first place because of her unique voice colour, and the way her honey blonde hair stood out among the crowd. Jeon Jungkook remembers the first time he'd heard her laughter, and the way he swore he couldn't mind having that as his alarm tone if it meant that he could hear her everyday. When they began dating, every one was surprised. Hell—even he was surprised too when she said yes, after hearing from his fellow idols that she was notorious for rejecting everyone, wanting to focus on her music.

And he likes it.

He likes the way she makes him feel special. She made him feel as though he was a God—and perhaps, that's why he'd lost himself as he pushed higher and higher for the heavens.

Jeon Jungkook lost himself in the fame.

And that is how he found himself in the arms of an actress, who's name he didn't really bother remembering to be frank. She was warm—unlike her, who was always cold and looking to his touch for some warmth. He chuckles thinking about the way she'd suddenly wrap her ice cold feets around his body in the middle of the night, complaining about how he liked the air conditioning on too low but that she didn't want to sleep alone. The other girl was a brunette—unlike Park Chaeyoung and the favourite shade of blonde he always knows her fans hate, because they care for the integrity of her hair, but how she loves it so much, knowing how easy it is for her hair colour to reach a light pastel or grey depending on her mood. The actress was short—so much smaller than him that he really needs to lean down to reciprocate the kiss when she pushes his body against the wall suddenly, unlike how it is with Park Chaeyoung as she remembers the way he barely needed to lean down when she was in heels.

It was fast.

So fast.

And he knows, that it's wrong when he hears her moaning his name and the sudden friction of her body against his. He closes his eyes shut as though he's trying to convince himself that he likes it, but it feels wrong. So wrong.