Forced love

Chapter thirty three

Chapter thirty three.
Silas's pov:

Tears were steaming down her face, it pained me to see her like that almost as much as it did to see the knife she was holding in her hands.

I took a quick step forward only for her to stop me by bringing the knife forward. "Stop! Do not move." Her voice was shaking, as well as her feet and hands.

"Put down the knife, Katherine." I told her in a calming voice. I did not care that she could hurt me, all I cared was that she didn't hurt herself.

She shook her head staring wildly into my eyes, she was so scared, so frightened I was going to move or do anything she was not prepared for. "It's okay, it's ok if you don't feel the same way about me yet—" I tried reassuring her but she just kept on shaking her head. "Just put down the knife, please."

"You don't understand! It's not okay. You don't feel that way about me!" She was yelling, breaking me and herself with those words.

"I do, you know I do." I tried taking a step forward, but she waived the knife in the space between us making me stand still.

"You don't know what you're saying. You don't—you don't—" This time I cut her off. "I love you, but it does not mean you have to feel the same way. I never expected you to." That last part might have been a lie.

"You don't understand, Silas! You don't know me, you don't know anything!" Her voice was raising, almost angry. "You don't even know what love is." She looked as if she regretted saying that the moment she finished the sentence.

It hurt just as bad anyway, having the words slapped right back in my face. As if they were worthless and meant the total opposite. "I can't—I can't do this anymore! You don't love me—" She blinked back the tears probably blurring her vision.

"I love you, Katherine." And with that she turned the knife around, stabbing herself in the stomach. Without a seconds hesitation I ran forward pulling her hands off the shaft of the knife to prevent it from going deeper then it already had.

Her eyes were wild as she sank into my arms. I lowered us to the floor, laying her in my lap. "You don't love me." She whispered, coughing up the words that seemed so important to her.

I never would have thought my love could make her want to kill herself.

*

She had passed out right after her last words. I had in all my panic called for a doctor. We had no time to get her to the hospital as she had lost a lot of blood already.

He said it could have been worse, which calmed me not at all. I demanded a straight answer from the doctor, and he told me the knife hadn't done much damage as she had aimed it wrong and not been able to push it far enough in.

And once he told me she was going to be ok I was so very thankful, I could've kissed the damn doctor right then and there.

She was still unconscious when I sat down at the foot of the bed she was laying in. I could still  see the dried tears on her cheeks, her under eyes a little puffy. If not worse I could still hear the words she was throwing at me ringing in my ears.

"You don't love me!" She was yelling with a voice so desperate and hurried, I could do nothing to stop her from saying them.

I wanted answers almost as much as I wanted for her to wake up. I wanted to know what the hell all of this was about. She had left me so completely confused, I felt like a baby trying to walk the second after being brought into this world. Utterly ridiculous.

My head snapped around as I felt a light tap on my shoulder. "She will hopefully wake up soon so I will be leaving. You should check up on her wound if it starts to hurt and you can call me if there is any difficulties or if she gets worse." The doctor told me before I nodded and he left.

I was determined to stay by her side until she woke up and so I did, but before that happened the sound of a phone ringing caught my ear. I reached into the pocket of her dress that was now laying on the floor, and found her phone.

The number was not saved so I picked it up and didn't have to wait long before finding out who if was. "Is it done?!" Her father hissed through the phone as soon as I picked it up.

I was so confused by his question and the urgency of his tone, I forgot to answer. "Katherine! Do NOT tell me you failed!" He hissed and neither this time did I answered. Only now it was on purpose, because I was curious to find out what she was supposed to be done with.

"Is it done or did you fail?—For Christ sake ANSWER ME!" My head was working like crazy, spinning trying to find out what he was talking about and why I didn't know about it.

"IF YOU FAILED I'M GOING TO—" I hung up before he got to finish his sentence because I could have sworn I saw her eyelids move.

I tossed the phone to the bed and watched as her eyes fluttered open. Her brows furrowed as she saw the sight of me. "How are you feeling?" I asked sitting completely still.

She swallowed hard, and without answering my question trying to sit up. "You should rest." I told her and her eyes met mine in confusion.

"What—what happened after I-" She paused, perhaps not wanting to own up to what she had just attempted a few hours ago.

"Yes, care to explain what all that was about?" She brought her attention towards her hands, that was now shaking.

"You—what have you done?" Her eyes started tearing up as she tried blaming this on ME.

"What have I done? What the fuck have I done, right?" My voice was raising, and I had every right to do so. "What the fuck have you done? Because I know damn well this was not my fault."

She still couldn't meet my eyes which only pissed me off more. "You shouldn't have helped me." She said flatly without so much of an twitch in her voice.

"So what, I was just supposed to let you die? Let you kill yourself!" I hissed raising to my feet.

"Yes." I could not understand how she could be so calm about this. How she acted as if this was normal. As if she thought I would just leave her to die.

"Look at me right now and tell me why on earth you would do something like that?" I demanded a straight answer from her.

Slowly her eyes shifted up to meet mine. They carried so much pain, all I really wanted to do was lay down and hold her. "I-I can't, Silas." Her voice was shaking now. What could possibly be so bad she would rather kill herself then tell me.

I stood still, holding her gaze waiting for an answer. "You have to understand—you will hate me if I tell you."

"You know damn well I could never hate you, not again. Not ever." I could tell she didn't believe me, that this was bigger than that. Bigger then all the love I might have for her. At least that's what she thought.

"Why couldn't you just have let me die! I—I have failed—" the last part she said mostly to herself, but I heard it and I recognized it.

"Does this have something to do with your father?" I asked and in a flash her face froze. Her eyes snapped up to mine and her mouth half open. "What you had to do for him?" I asked calmly.

"You—you know?" She was so in shock, right now more than ever I was scared to find out the truth. Maybe I didn't want to know, but I had to. "How—"

"He called you while you were unconscious. Now tell me what you have failed to do for him." She stiffened and I knew she was going to tell me everything if I let her.

"He sent me to marry you—so that I could," she paused and dragged in a shaking breath. "So that I could kill you."

Authors note:

How you you think Silas will react?

Let alone her father?

Quote: Be careful who you trust. Salt and sugar look the same.