my darling violet

chapter 11

Violet's pov

I snap my eyes open, tears streaming down my face and my vision is blurry with still unshed tears. There was someone touching me, I stare at them, I can see their eyes are on me and their mouth is moving.

I force my eyes to focus, finally clearing to see Alessandro was the person in Infront of me, his hand gently resting on my shoulder.

Suddenly I remember what I dreamt about, not really a dream but a memory, one of the worst beatings that I got, after I had woken up from the chemicals they did anything you could imagine. Kicking, hitting, punching, stabbing, carving, torching, drowning, anything that you would use to torture someone, they did it.

Alessandro called out to me trying to get me to breathe properly. I didn't even realise that I wasn't really breathing but hey I was preoccupied.

"Breath for me baby, deep breath. You can do it" he says and when he said that I could feel my hands around my neck scratching, it was starting to hurt but it was overpowered by my need to get air. The pain in my lungs hurting more now with the pain from not getting enough air.

Seeing that I wasn't stopping scratching Alessandro very slowly and gently grabbed my hand and held them for a while before placing them down by my sides.

After he put my hands down I started to concentrate on my breathing, slowing it down and making it less shallow. It starts working and I look back at where I last saw him, to see him still there. It kind of warmed my heart a little to know that he didn't leave me, he saw me like this- a whole mess, crying and everything and he's staying and he's helping me.

"You're doing good Bambina, keep doing it, deep breaths in and out" Alessandro says, looking straight into my eyes when my breathing thingy starts working.

After a little while, Alessandro starts to move his hands very slowly near me, he picked me up and put my head on his chest so I could hear his heartbeat. It's a little fast but mine would be too if I was him in this situation. I flinched when he went to pick me up and I'm hoping, praying that he didn't see anything. He was cooing me for a little bit and that honestly helps a lot.

I mean I've never had anyone talking to me like this, he spoke with so much love and assurance in his voice.

I start to fully calm down with my heart beating close to his, almost the same. I keep my head on his chest, he was warm and I'm really tired after everything that's happened.

I can tell he wants to ask about it but I'm hoping he won't. I'm hoping he will just let me lie here until he leaves so, I can fall asleep.

" Do you wanna talk about it? You don't have to if you don't want to" he asks, he added the last bit almost like he just threw it in there.

I really don't wanna tell him but I don't want him to get angry and maybe hit me, so I just decide with a very simple,

"No, I'm good thank you" I honestly didn't really wanna say anything, I just wanna sleep.

He just said okay and let it go. I mean I'm really grateful for that but I just stop thinking so I can fall asleep. .... With me still on him.

I wake up and I'm really warm, but a good warm. My pillow was so squishy but also hard and hot. Thinking this was weird I decided to open my eyes and see what was up.

I see Alessandro asleep, he was my warm pillow.

I'm kind of freaking out. I thought he was just going to leave when I fell asleep.

Why the hell are you still here! I screamed in my head looking at him from where I'm now standing next to the bed.

I decided imma just leave him I mean It's not like I could carry him anyway, although I was really tempted for a second to put him on the floor with a sheet under him and run throughout the halls with me pulling him. But you know I can't put his fat ass on the floor!

I look at the clock it reads 5:54 am, it's pretty good that I slept this long but I don't think I still get enough sleep. I'm just going to have a shower anyway because we do not want my ass walking around here smelling like an uncooked turkey.

Which I have no idea what it smells like but I'm guessing not good.

I grab some clothes, a simple white shirt with a black jumper and my black jeans plus my other pair of underwear and head into the bathroom.

I still can't believe that it's my bathroom, or at least until they send me away. But you best believe that I will be using this thing like there's no tomorrow because with my stupid messed up life there very well could be.

Undressing myself, I make sure to turn away from the mirror and head straight for the shower turning it on boiling hot with only a little bit of cold. I have never really felt what hot water feels like. I mean I've had it poured on me but it was burning hot so I couldn't really feel much.

The mirror and the glass door to the shower quickly start to fog up with all the heat and I just continue to stand there. basking In the nice hot water for the first time in my life.

After standing there for maybe five minutes I see that there are three bottles in the shower. Picking up the closest one, I read the bottle to find out it was body soap. Putting it down I pick up the next one to see that it was conditioner and the other one is shampoo.

I've heard about the last two and I think that's what people use to wash their hair and make it shiny and soft. I have never used it and just brushed my hair until there were no knots but my hair was never shiny and it was pretty much only soft for five minutes before I left the bathroom.

I did say that I was going to be using this bathroom while I'm still here, so I put a good amount of shampoo on my hand after reading the back and started to put it all over my wet hair.

Then washing it out I did the conditioner and put the body soap all over and really scrubbed on my cuts just to make sure there was no dirt or dried blood left on my body.

Half an hour later I was out of the shower and dressed almost done with my concealer all over my face, neck, hands, and arms plus a little bit on my ankles, there was a knock on the door.

I really didn't feel like talking but I also didn't want people near me so I decided to just yell "come in" really loud so I knew they could hear.