10. Show me love

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Heartbreak always seems to come easy to me. No relationships ever worked out. I'd always blamed the men I had been with but what if it was me.

First boyfriend cheated on me and gaslighted me, making me think I was the cause of it because I "didn't give him attention when he needed"

Second we didn't even get to the relationship stage, he just used me for my body. And I was definitely stupid enough to just let it happen.

And finally my recent heartbreak was a mixture of both, he used me for my body but was cheating on me with some blonde chick who apparently gave him everything he wanted. 2 years down the drain for nothing as per usual.

Immediately after I needed a change and not just a little one I needed a massive one. So I quit my job and moved to America. I only planned to stay for a couple of months but that was good enough for now.

I'd been here a couple of days really reflecting on everything and it was so overwhelming. The weather outside was exactly how I felt, raining and miserable.

I'd been walking the streets of Georgia for around an hour before I decided to sit on the sidewalk and just take in life. I had no other plans than to sit here for a while and take in the weather and everything going on around me. And cry of course, that's all I seemed to have done recently. There was no one about so it was really peaceful.

I'd been sat on the side walk for 15 minutes when I heard a cough behind me and a small tap on my shoulder. "Erm hi are you okay?" This beautiful man with the most adoring eyes said crouching down beside me. He sounded British, most definitely the last accent I would have expected from him.
"Hi, eh I guess, maybe not right now but I will be" I smiled at him hoping he would move on. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm all ears if you do" he replied sitting beside me taking in the rain too. "You're a complete stranger, do you not have more places to be" I asked. He shook his head no.

"My hotel is just at the back of us, I saw you sat here alone and in the rain I didn't want you to get cold.. I just wanted to see if you were okay, the rains pretty heavy out here" I nodded taking in what he said. "Well thank you-" "Joe" "thank you Joe, but I'm just going through a lot but I'll be going now" I said standing up getting ready to leave.

I started to walk away before I heard him talk again. "Come to my hotel room, dry off a bit and I'll give you some coffee, or tea?" He questioned. I thought about it for a second. "We can talk, only if you want? Though I have heard it's better to get things out to strangers" he said with a smile. So I did and we went to his hotel room.

He opened all the doors for me like a gentleman, when we got to his room he let me walk in first. "Here I'll grab you some dry clothes, and whilst you change I'll put the kettle on" he said with a smile leading me to his room to change.

I'd changed into the hoodie and joggers he gave me and I had to admit it was a lot better than being outside in the cold.
"Here I made you a coffee, you look like you need it. The condiments are right over there" he pointed to them, I smiled and gave a small nod as a thank you. "I never got your name by the way" he said as I turned back around facing him over the kitchen top. "Y/N" I said. "Y/N, thats a pretty name, so why were you outside all upset by yourself" he asked curiously.

I let out a sigh. "My life's just a complete shit show right now" I answered honestly. "Do you want to explain why?" He questioned. I took a sip of my drink before I explained everything, from my relationships and the reason I'm out here away from everyone. "- so now I'm at a point of not knowing what's coming next, and I'm pretty convinced relationships just aren't for me" I said with a sad smile.

"I'm sure they are, it sounds like you have dated boys, not men. Boys can be such assholes sometimes" he said genuinely seeming upset for me. I nodded completely agreeing. "Yeah I was debating on getting a flight back home to london, but then I'd be stuck in a place I hate, being miserable. But here I have absolutely no one I can turn too which is lonely so I don't know what to do anymore" I replied.

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