In which loving Rafe was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street, passion in the wind and it's so suddenly.
'It wasn't the violence what scared her, it was the fact that whatever he did she knew that she'd still love him anyway.'
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We were currently inside of a random room filled with mainly windows, the door closed automatically behind causing me to jump slightly, my eyes traced all around the room.
It was very bland. Had hardly anything inside of it, if anything inside of it. Just a wooden table and three wooden chairs with a map painting on the walls. And two medium sized windows. "Rosie." I turned my eyes back to Rafe giving him a blank stare.
His expression held nothing but pain as he walked over cupping my face gently, "Please you've got to believe me I did this for you. For us." No, you did this for you. For him. Nothing is ever about me or how I feel I'm just being dragged around like a rag doll. Like I have no mind of my own.
I opened my mouth to disagree but I closed it once more when I knew we weren't going to get anywhere with this. "I want to go home." I told him narrowing my eyes when he pulled away scoffing. He began to pace in front of me muttering things, he sounded like an insane person.
"This is your home." He yelled throwing his hands in the air, I took a small step back as I gulped waiting for him to finish. "I am your home! You promised me Rosie. You promised you'd never leave me." He cried out tears falling down his cheeks, I placed my hand on his cheek as I began to caress it.
"And at the time I meant it. Just like when you said you'd never hurt me, but you can't stick to that. And you know you can't." He shook his head grabbing my waist and pulling me closer into him. "I can Rosie I swear. I'll be different now I'll do better." I can't keep doing this Rafe.
"Rafe the moment I get out of here, you will never see me again." His eyes narrowed before he reached out grabbing me by the wrist and tugging me forward.
"Let's get this clear Rosalie. You are never leaving me again. And that's a promise." He warned his voice taunting as he stared down at me with promise. "Fuck you Rafe." I responded with my eyes sharp as I glared at him with tears building in my eyes.
"Rosie please, I love you." My heart felt a new crack open with every lie he told me, I'm so tired. "Im so tired Rafe." I admitted, my eyes casting to the floor in sadness as I felt my old self being to become lost. I want my old life.
"I can't keep doing this anymore, any of it." I carried on finally looking up only to see him looking at me with confusion and disbelief. He seemed to be thinking about anything and everything.
"What do you mean?" He stuttered over his words as he stared at me with such intensity I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. "I mean that the moment all of this shits over I'm leaving. Im going to call my grandma and ask to live with her for a while, finish school over there." I haven't asked her yet but I know she'll be more than happy to have her granddaughter closer to her.
"Your lying." Rafe told me in an uncertain voice, I almost felt bad for him until I remembered all the shit he had put me through. All he ever did was lie to me and I was dumb enough to believe him every time. "Im not, I'm so tired of everything of the pogues, the kooks, the gold, the arguments. You. I need a break." His eyes were moving in all directions until he began to hit himself in the head whispering.
