Remembering You- Zarry AU

Chapter 9:- Some things(Past)

Being attracted to someone is really the easiest emotion if we think about it, it doesn't have to be something profound, just a simple smile, cute dimples, chubby cheeks, fluffy hair, anything or all of it. You look at someone and you can tell, whether you are attracted to them or not, it's not really rocket science, despite humans having complicated feelings and emotions. Maybe that's why it comes and goes, quickly, one moment you feel smitten by a simple smile next moment it's the sharp cheekbones of a totally different person. After all, it's just about a simple glance.

You go to school and this person smiles at you, at clubs, parties, or even if you are in your house watching a romantic comedy, making heart eyes at Ryan Gosling. He is dreamy isn't he, well that's probably one of the reasons why everyone watched Notebook so many times, isn't it?

And finally, you stopped one day, you got bored, watched another movie, met someone else and moved on to a new crush. That's how easy it is.

The real deal starts when it's been days, months and even years, and you still haven't moved on, you don't find someone else's smile that endearing, nobody makes you laugh so much, no one else compares to that one person, and that's when you are trapped. It worsens when you don't want to accept it, or when it's someone you least expected to be.

Attraction really is a trap, if it wasn't an easy emotion, you would never fall into the complicated feelings that follow afterwards. When you can't move on, it turns into something else, and Harry hates the 'something else' part. He always tried to run away from it. That's what he always did, when Sarah told him in school, that she wanted to date, he hung up the phone and went out with someone else the other day, she cried and called him a jerk, he didn't feel sad though, instead, he was happy, he got away, that's what he always does run and hide. Whenever feelings get involved you will always find him running in the other direction. Maybe he is a jerk, but if you ask him he will tell you he just wants to protect his heart.

That something else or something real part is not supposed to last, it's like quicksand, the more you stand over it, the more fatal it becomes, and when the feeling dies a part of you dies too. it did when he watched his father leave, it did when he saw his mother cry and it died a little more when his happy family was torn apart, there is only so much left of his heart which he vowed to protect at any cost.

He hopes he doesn't find something real ever.

That's one of the main reasons why Harry enjoyed spending time with Allison, he really loved her company, she was really sweet, and he was really attracted to her, but that was it. Nothing more. And he knew it could never be anything more. She was safe.

While hanging out with her Harry slowly realized that she was really interested in him. She wanted something more that was evident in her playful looks and how she brushed her arms against Harry's, how she was always insistent on going on dates with him.

It made Harry really uncomfortable being physical with her 'cause while it was fun for Harry it must mean more to her. Well, Harry may be a jerk but still, he didn't like leading people on.

And one day on one of their dates, Allison said to him, clearly, "I like you, Harry.",

Harry froze then he was never really good at saying no to people, letting them down so he decided to play it cool. And he returned the words trying to be nonchalant about it. But Allison saw right through him.

"I really mean it, Harry. You know it."

It felt like the words were stuck in his throat, so she continued "I also know you are not into me." it wasn't a question but rather a statement and Harry was really panicking about how to find his way out of it.