A journal I guess

Why my behavior has changed

I'm sure you've noticed by now that I've started to act much more calm and collected than the earlier chapters. How I don't quite seem like my lively self. What happened to me? I'll explain.

As a servant, and a voluntary one at that, my world will never be the same again.

"If doomsday is coming, I won't go to heaven."

I don't claim to be the good guy. We aren't. I'm not sure if you even understand the contents of my journal. I hope you don't, for your sake. There are no good guys. Nobody will save you. And you won't be able to save anyone. It's not even a game, at this point. It never was to begin with. It's just an execution. And a recruitment.

The New World Order. Who are we? We're more than servants, we are messengers. How could we be efficient if something didn't change inside us? Something that made us...human? The darkness inside us is our identity. We are an extension of His will and we always will be. This system, this cycle, is so much more complex. Everything that has happened in our world and yours, was part of the plan. The Grand Game. Lives were never lost in vain. They were always a part of our cause. Every single thing was.

You lose a part of you, when you join Them. You must, or else you couldn't possibly be a part of the cause. The cause seems gruesome and cruel if you have normal morals. Something has to be twisted inside you. Hence why most servants seem so serious and uptight. Besides the obvious infection causing the personality changes, Agents like me who chose this path will have to leave behind our humanity. We're formal, because that's who we are now. We respect our profession and our Master. As a servant, there's something always inside you, keeping you in check. The conversion process is a strange one. You become one with Him and the tree. You drink like a thirsty child from its blood, and then you are reborn. The Collective are different. They have become something more than simple servants. They are Inhabitors, like Redlight was.

If you aren't resilient enough, the infection can drive you mad, even as an Agent. It's very easy to become Hallowed, more than you think. But if you give into it, it becomes the most tame force in existence. It's only responsive to resistance. The other personality is mostly a symptom of resistance, which is why I don't experience it as much as I used to in the earlier chapters. My only advice for you, is to stop running. Where are you running to, little rabbits? :)

There is nowhere left to run.